The Merry Month Of May When The Widow Vs. WonderWoman

Ah, the month of May. I wrote about it in my memoir The Unfaithful Widow. It is a month that brought so much, then took so much, then put me back on my feet. I wondered if I should reminisce here, it is May again, or just stay with the 'new me' that feels more like Wonder Woman these days. But I would not be true to writing about my experiences if I let my thoughts go today. And if you know me, truth sets me free.

This blog started in December 2009 to get ready for the launch of my widow memoir. Everything I read about promotion for books enticed me to start early to have a small platform. This blog featured 'lessons learned' at the end of each post. My widow lessons learned came from lessons learned from my dogs. I loved adopting dogs so much, I now live with a pack of six rescue dogs that rescued me.

The month of May. How many memories can one month hold? It is the turning point for me each year to reflect. I met my husband in May all those many years ago. We married in May and had five years together as husband and wife, which added to the years we lived together, gave us a history of 25 years. He passed away in May 2008. In May 2009, I had a 'coming out' celebration at the house to celebrate my friends and all the love that was shared with me that year. I had just started my dog adoption frenzy, so there was just Foxy, the Grand Dame of small German Shepherds and Bray, my first rescue dog. It was easy to entertain in my house then with only two dogs.

Now, six years and six dogs later, it is harder to have people over, but I am working on it for my dog loving friends who are brave. As a mad collector of things, I kid, I could have a lovely tea party for six, and everyone could have their own Victorian silverplate tea service and a dog for their lap. My kind of tea party would also include a pitcher of Margaritas, so tasty with cheese straws and in tiny cups, so ladylike to keep sipping!

The Unfaithful Widow book launch was in May 2010 with a grand party at a friend's bed and breakfast and was an event/silent auction for Animal Action Rescue. I am still on their website under links we like. A very proud thing for me the crazy dog lady. We made some money for them that night. Every cent went to the folks that brought me Bray, and then some of my other dogs down the road. I had my first blog tour with WOW Women in Writing that month too. This May I am on tour with WOW again to promote my first fiction novel Danger In Her Words.

My wonderful Mother has her birthday on May 22nd. I can't forget that. It is a reminder how lucky I am to have her in my life. She reminds me you can do anything, be anything, at any age. She wrote when we were kids and went back to her writing roots at age 85. She will be turning 86 and has three books on Amazon with a fourth to come. Her website is Audrey Frank Author. She is the inspiration that keeps me moving forward thinking I can conquer the world, make my life what I want it to be, despite all the things that can go wrong, but can work for you if you leave your heart open.

Six years a widow this month. It seems so strange. At first the days seemed endless, how would I survive? Now I look back on all that has happened and wonder where the time has gone. I have the books I've written, my wonderful friends, both from years of knowing each other to new women who have enriched my life. I opened and closed an antique shop, The Little Shop of Arts and Antiques, that became a hub for writers and artists. I started a writers guild that still meets. A Book Talk blog to promote other authors.  I appeared in a snippet of an interview on Lifetime Television's The Balancing Act, a morning show for women. I blogged for them for several years. I sleep with dogs, hmm, not those bad dates I used to write about, but my wagging tail buddies that surround me with love.

I am in the same house, living a life close to home, that is as rich as any life I could ask for. My fears and loss made me step out of my comfort zone to do things I would never have done in the safety net of my marriage. But my marriage, my husband's constant for all those years, gave me a secure base to start from. It was about creating something good that would make sense of my loss.

Last August I turned sixty-five. I don't feel it. I do feel like an odd bird out some days, at my age there are no children, no grand kids, when most everyone I know, despite their marital status, has them. I wondered how life would be different if I'd had children. Then a new friend said to me she wondered what life would have been like if she didn't have her kids and grandchildren. There was food for thought for both of us. We decided we are happy where we are. Isn't that the best place to be in life? Happy.

Will I find someone again? It is still not my answer - although sometimes I think about it. What I found was me. I feel like Wonder Woman on so many levels.

I am blessed to have happiness. I am blessed to have the month of May to make me remember all that I loved, still love, and all that is yet to come.  A month that full has got to be a merry month!

Traded my widow crown for my Wonder Woman accessories. Wanting to be my own super hero.

 

A Farewell To My Dear Foxy

An Aging Dog was my post on April 11, 2011 on Lifetime Televisions' blog for The Balancing Act. My dear Foxy was the subject of that post, and how I worried about her days coming to an end. Good for Foxy, she lasted another few weeks. But on May 5th I had to make the hardest decision ever, to let Foxy leave this world for a better place. Her body was just giving out on her. My post An Aging Dog was a hopeful one, for I did not have to make that decision in April. I had the extra time to pamper Foxy and tell her how much I loved her. Five other dogs watched with envy that she got chicken in her kibble and they didn't. Five dogs, five pretty smart dogs, now know why and say, "no thanks" to chicken! I was blessed I had Foxy fifteen years. She was the dog that came to my husband and me when our big dog Boy died. She made us smile again. She is the dog that stayed by my side when my husband died. She watched Jake my other dog, leave us nine months later. Then she watched, not always so gleefully, five new rescue dogs come into our house. Five dogs who respected Foxy, because she was the leader of our pack. She was graceful, elegant, and a very good sport. I am sharing a repeat of some of her early photos when I sold on Ebay and put photos of Foxy in vintage hats on my auctions to grab that extra attention. I will always miss Foxy, as I miss my husband. Lucky for me I have five dogs that make me laugh and would not let me be sad for long.

I call myself Writer With Dogs on many blogs. A writer with six dogs, now a writer with five. I have trouble with the math when the dogs come in. I still have to count to be sure they all are there, but the total still confuses me as I know one is missing, but where all good dogs go at the end of their days.

Will I get another? My pack is pretty close and they are a united front. That is the only reason I may hold off on adding another. If I didn't have my five, you can bet I'd be out looking for a new dog in a heart beat.

Many people have said they can't go through the pain of loss again. I look at it as the joy of love, and I'll go through that on any day of the week!

To my dear Foxy, who opened her heart to take in five dogs that annoyed her most days, but loved being the center of all that attention.

Opening Day Scrapbook Of The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques

Digital scrapbook customized with Smilebox

The Rich Rewards Of Fostering Dogs, Patti Foy, Part 2 of 2

Tonight we finish our discussion with Patti Foy on how to foster a dog. (Part one can be seen right below this post). Patti's information on fostering a dog is great.

I am not sure how many people think of going this route, but it is a wonderful way to help a dog in need, while you open your heart to the love of an animal who will have a real life again because of you.)

Thanks Patti for the time you took to share this information with all of us! Barbara


The Least You Need to Know


There's a lot of skill and knowledge you can develop as you gain experience with fostering, and that will come with time. But really it's pretty straight-forward. At the very least, here's what I suggest:

You are agreeing to provide a safe environment with food, shelter, exercise, and some amount of socializing, so make sure you can do that. It's important that you and your family are all in agreement on this.

Mostly though? They just need lots of love.

It's not required but it does help if you already have some experience with dogs.

Also, an eagerness to learn more about them and how to work with them is a big plus. This makes it a much richer experience for everyone involved.

The shelter will help you find a good fit between your situation and the right dog.

There are lots of things to consider when making a match, but for example, you don't want a puppy if you can't be up during the night sometimes. You don't want a dog that intimidates you or is known to be unpredictable if you are not an experienced dog handler. Use your common sense to make sure you are not putting yourself or your family -- or the dog, for that matter -- in harm's way.

Note that some shelters provide more assistance and training than others.

The reality is, most rescue groups and many shelters are run by volunteers. They are overworked and not always as organized as they would like. You may or may not get much help from them about what to expect or how to handle tricky situations. This isn't ideal, but it's sometimes the reality.

Still, they are your first resource and if nothing else they can help you get answers and guidance.


If You Want to Know More

Information's pretty easy to come by nowadays with the internet so accessible. Here are a few of the better websites I found that provide great information if you want to look into being a foster parent.

Informative article on what's required, what to expect, and how to find a dog to foster. Includes videos!

http://dogs.thefuntimesguide.com/2010/10/dog_foster.php

How to successfully foster dogs and puppies - This is a helpful article about some of the details, with 5 links to similar articles at the bottom.


http://www.helium.com/items/908808-how-to-successfully-foster-dogs-and-puppies

Short article with some good tips about finding a rescue group or shelter to foster for, preparing to foster, and then working with that organization.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4525684_guardian-animals-dogs-cats-pets.html

Comprehensive Foster Dog Manual (PDF) from the Seattle Animal Shelter. 49 excellent pages. It's specific to the Seattle shelter but most of it can be applied anywhere.

http://www.aspcapro.org/mydocuments/seattle-animal-shelter-foster-1.pdf


And don't forget to ask your local shelter for information too. The bigger ones, especially, can be a wealth of information.

Begin Where You Are

So as you see, there's actually a lot you can know about fostering, but the good news is you don't have to know it all to begin.

Fostering is a lot like life in that it's a process of discovery. You may be more talented at helping dogs than you imagine, even if you have no experience. Just as with anything, we start with small steps and learn as we go.

If you have even an inkling you might like to do this, there's no reason at all not to proceed and see if you can find a good match. And if you are able to give it a try, I just know you'll be glad you did.

If you have any fostering stories, we'd all love to hear them. Or do you have questions? Tips or pointers? Please do share!

BIO: Patti Foy is a blogger at http://www.lightspiritedbeing.com/ where she writes about discovering our true selves and shining our light, along with offering her services that can help us do that. She lives a simple, natural life in the high desert of New Mexico with her husband and two dogs, where she enjoys writing and being connected to nature and animals.

On a personal note; my favorite rescue is Animal Action Rescue Atlanta, they have a great selection of dogs and are always looking for foster 'moms".

http://www.animalactionrescue.org/

 Fostering may be just the anwer you've been looking for. Do a great dead, give a great dog a home!



  



Meet Miss April In Paris On Tilly The Rescue Dog's Blog

Tilly the Rescue Dog's Blog

The life and adventures of a very special little rescued dog & her canine companions and friends! Click above and visit Tilly in the UK.

Miss April In Paris, the last dog to come in my house in January of this year has her own blog where she dreams of visiting Paris. Today she is a guest speaker on Tilly's blog in the UK. I am sharing the post with you.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010 Please would you all give a big welcome to my very special guest today, the beautiful Miss April in Paris. She has a lovely story to tell, and without any further ado I'll hand you over to her.
Hope you enjoy it.
Lots of love,
Tilly

Bonjour Everyone,

Enchante. I am very excited to finally get attention and share my story here. If there is a handsome dog that finds me fetching, contact me. I am a single female, young at four years and very lovely in my vintage rose hat. Don’t you think I look delightful in it?

I wasn’t always this outgoing. I am the sixth dog in a house of dogs. The grand dame is Foxy who is fourteen human years old. The rest of the dogs, my new friends, all came from local rescue shelters in the last year. Miss Barbara lost her husband and decided that dogs were the best source of love. And that rescue dogs give the best kisses. She has written a book about her first year as a widow and how rescue dogs rescued her.

I was the last one to come live with Miss Barbara right after New Year’s Eve this year. I am not in her book but I have my own blog. My owner is wonderful, but it took her a week to finally notice me. I had to bump her elbow while she was on that computer and I heard her say in a confused tone, “I’ve just lost my Outlook tool bar!” Whatever that means. Then she turned to me, held my face in her hands and said in the sweetest voice, “April who are you?” She bent down and kissed my nose making me feel very special indeed. “Let me call you April In Paris because you are so lovely.” How did she know I love Paris? I dream of going to Paris and having a bowl of sparkling water at the Café Le Paris on the Avenue des Champs Elysees. Oui! I hum the old tune April In Paris to myself almost daily. Now I am called Miss April In Paris.

I love my full name. So don’t call me just April. I only answer to April In Paris. I had my Easter photo taken in my lovely chapeau and the rest is history. I have my own blog where I share my dreams of Paris. http://aprilinparisdivadog.blogspot.com/

I was very frightened in the animal shelter and lived there for two years. I was taken care of by State Trooper Peggy who started the non-profit rescue shelter Atlanta Canine Adoption Project http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/GA244.html in Monticello, Georgia, about an hour from where I live now. She kissed me and fed me, but the bigger dogs bullied me. There were sixty dogs at the shelter and I am a big girl, but the bigger dogs could sense I was nervous and they were mean to me. I have a scar to prove it.

State Trooper Peggy let me sleep with her, but I wanted my own special person. Then Miss Barbara called after seeing my face on the rescue web site and wanted me. My drive to her house was the best time. We kissed and ate chick filet nuggets. Such yummy food. I wonder if I can find those in Paris?

I was nervous when I arrived and saw five fellow dogs come running out to greet me. I hit the ground worried I might get attacked again. But how silly, I was greeted with barks and licks. My old girl friend Rascal was there. We had been together at Monticello but she came to Miss Barbara a week before I did. Then there were the others. They came from Animal Action Rescue, a cool dog shelter I’ve been told by the others. http://www.animalactionrescue.org/

Miss Barbara has dedicated her book to her favorite dog rescue shelters and is having a big party in June with a silent auction for Animal Action Rescue. I heard her tell a friend who came by to meet me that her book is her widow story, but it is full of dog stories too. She wants to help rescue groups because she loves dogs so much.

Thank you for inviting me to share my story. From rescue dog to Diva. Merci.
Au revoir, until we meet again.
Miss April In Paris
Widow Lesson Learned: There are friends to be met all over the world if you open your heart.

Welcome Eddy And Her Rescue Dogs Ginger & Dargo

Remember to enter my Giveaway ending May 24th. Details below.

Welcome to Eddy from Georgia and her wonderful rescue dogs!

My husband and I rescued 2 German Shepard dogs. Ginger was the first. She came from Alcovy Pet Rescue. She is a black and tan, now 5 years old and such a loving dog. She was only 13 months and suffered a bad demodectic mange when we rescued her. Now she is one happy bestfriend!
The second one was Dargo, a black and tan GSD who was separated from his brother. Happy endings to both brothers for they found their forever homes. Dargo was also a puppy when he came into our lives. We got him from Marietta, Ga. He is now a happy, silly 2 year old who loves having a big sister.
I lost my mother back in 1991 and we had a loving German Shepard dog named, "Lady". I believe that all animals are somewhat connected to the ones we love - I really do.
The photo of me with Ginger was taken during Ginger's first year with us.

Eddy has an Esty shop where she creates and sells handstitched pillows on tea or coffee-stained muslin fabric to give them that unique primitive look. Talented and with a big heart for dogs. What a super combination! Visit her shop at http://www.everlastingbloom.etsy.com/ .  

Thanks Eddy for the lovely story and photos.  I love your dogs!
Remember my Giveaway on May 24th.  Leave a comment about your rescue dog (or cat) or e-mail your short story to me with photos at bb-bjd@comcast.net . All comments and stories made on April 11th or later will be included in the drawing. Winner will get a bracelet similiar to one below, made especially for them. Dogs, cats, or both, the choice is yours.

Widow Lesson Learned: A heart that loves animals is always full of love.

New Contest And Giveaway. Share Your Rescue Dog Story

"I like to think I've rescued dogs, but they have rescued me." The Unfaithful Widow, Barbara Barth 2010

New Contest/Giveaway. Deadline May 24th 6pm est. Share your rescue dog story and be entered into a giveaway to win a one of a kind dog rescue charm bracelet. Leave your short tale as a comment here. I will use a random number generator to pick the winner on May 24th. If you would like to be a guest blogger and include a photo, go to my profile info and hit the contact button and you can e-mail me directly and send your photo as an attachment I can upload.  I am waiting................(Photo of bracelet to be revealed later this month - you will love it. Similar to the one given away in February.) PS - If you are a rescue cat person, you can enter too. If you win your bracelet will be made with a cat theme. We love all rescue animals here.
Dogs. That word makes me smile. My Dogs. Those words make my smile brighter. Rescue Dogs, those words have gotten me in trouble but saved my life when it was a dark place as a new widow.
Five rescue dogs in under a year. Then of course, there is my old lady Foxy who has been with me for thirteen years. All that love all day long!
My favorite rescue folks:
Animal Action Rescue, Decatur, Ga. A great group. Check them out at http://www.animalactionrescue.org/ . They brought me my first rescue dog and the rest is history.
Then there is State Trooper Peggy with Atlanta Canine Adoption Project www.petfinder.com/shelters/GA244.html. The photo was taken at Pet Smart in Atlanta a few weeks ago when I stopped by to see her latest pups.

"Hello, my name is Midnight and you can find me at Animal Action Rescue. How's it going?"

Frogs, Widows And Puppy Dog Tails

The Atlanta Botanical Garden
http://www.atlantabotanicalgarden.org/home.do
Help the amphibians.
Frogs are in trouble! More than one-third of the world's amphibian species are considered threatened or endangered.Rescue programs strive to give some amphibian species a lien on life. However, for many amphibians, time is of the essence! Check how you can help:
http://www.atlantabotanicalgarden.org/site/conservation/amphibian_research#help%20the%20amphibians
There are future prince charmings to be rescued. You never know what happens when you kiss a frog.

http://www.webweaver.nu/clipart/animals/frogs/

Wizards at work. The stars aligning. Good things about to happen to a lonely widow sad sack at home with nothing to do. October 2008, a bad date turned into a wonderful part time job. We went to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens after a Mexican lunch and I met my match. Not the guy I found online, but the beautiful garden haven he showed me. Flowers, art and a frog pod. I dumped my date as swiftly as I could. Ran home and Googled the gardens.Planning on volunteering, a huge flower opened and the word employment popped out, beckoning me. I was transfixed. Part time sales associate, gift shop. I knew the job would be mine. I kissed my monitor, thank you Lordy, and The Atlanta Botanical Garden became my prince charming.

Now I am on the move again. My last day working at the Botanical Garden Gift Shop will be Jan. 31st. Writing until all hours of the night, with six dogs watching my back, a vintage corvette that is waiting to hit the road, and my book to bedazzle bookshops is my path this year. I’ll try to pace myself so I won’t run over my real Prince Charming if he is standing on the side of the road thumbing for a ride. There may just be room in the seat next to me for a soul daring enough to hang on.
On the dog front, I missed my vet appointment for Annabelle. So engrossed in watching the workmen in my yard, lifting plywood and a hammering, a sight that my eyes find exciting. Men and tools. I forgot we were due at the vet at 10:30. I called to confirm my afternoon appointment at lunch and oh the surprise I'd defaulted. I’ve been in to see them so much this week, my brain is fogged on who and when. So tomorrow early as the sun rises, Annabelle will go to see if she has any of the worms that are frequenting these premises.
Tonight I am sighing with relief, my floodlights are working, the siding is back on the shed and an albino rat’s body was carried to the trash at the street by someone other than me.
Widow Lesson Learned: Prince Charmings come in many forms. You just need to recognize them when they come along.