The Unfaithful Widow On The Balancing Act Blog!

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Ever feel like you’re the one always doing the talking?

The Unfaithful Widow can relate, in her recent blog, “I Have Been Talking Too Much!”.

Click on the blog link above and read my latest post on The Balancing Act. I am the CEO of Life on Mondays!

The Unfaithful Widow, Latest Post On 'The Balancing Act' Lifetime TV Blog!

This Christmas

My big decision this year is how late to stay open at my shop on Christmas Eve. I have no one to spend Christmas Eve with, so spending it at the shop is a great option. If I pushed, I could make plans. But this year I feel like winging it. This is my fourth Christmas as a widow and each year brings something different. Each Christmas leaves an impression unlike the year before.


My husband died in May. In December there were so many old memories, but I was grabbing at life as quickly as I could, and Christmas brought magic, not tears. No I didn't go see family. For twenty-five years we trecked to North Carolina for Christmas with his mother, back to the house for a day, then a trip down to see my mother in Florida, for New Year's Eve. Two dogs went with us. Packing them in the van was the hardest. Bigger dogs needed room. I'd make a platform in front of the seats with luggage covered in traveling quilts. Both dogs could stretch out looking ahead, fresh air hitting them from the front, keeping the dog puke factor down. Going over a huge mountain top meant one of the two would most likely get car sick. They loved the holidays and travel. I loved having them with us. My husband hated dog puke in the van.

The first Christmas on my own, I still had my two dogs. We stayed home. Mother and mother-in-law had their own plans. I refused to travel. I had lunch with my bff on Christmas day. She is a trained chef - now that was a Christmas dinner to remember. At seven I had a date. I tried dating too soon after my husband died. I wrote about it in my book. But I needed to be out in life to accept my new life alone. I met my date at the only local pub open on Christmas night. We drank coffee and talked about everything. His remark to me, which sums up how well I dated then, "Oh Barbara, Barbara, what are we going to do with you?" Somehow my husband got me, but no other male has since. But all and all, it was a lovely Christmas. We jumped in his huge black truck and went on a tour of lights in the surrounding neighborhoods. The evening ended with us eating pancakes at The Waffle House at 10 PM. He dropped me back at my car and I swear I heard him yell, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night", as he waved goodbye and disappeared into the night. We did not go out again, but he was my own Santa sharing Christmas memories to brighten my night.

My second Christmas, it was time for family. I flew my mother up from Florida and we hugged and laughed around the Christmas tree. By now the dogs had changed, as one had left me for dog heaven, but I had adopted three rescue dogs. So we had four dogs to make it a rollicking holiday. Friends came to visit, Each had a dog for their lap. They all loved my mother. Late at night she and I relaxed in our jammies and watched romantic Christmas movies. A Christmas full of love with my mother by my side.

Last Christmas I have trouble remembering. I had just signed a lease to open a shop the day after I launched my one and only copy of an online dog magazine. My dog number had grown to six. I didn't travel. I didn't date. I did see my bff. But I spent a quiet holiday, content with my dogs, sitting by the Christmas tree, making plans to open my storefront in January. My not being able to remember the details tells me two things, it was quiet and I accepted being on my own at the holidays. It was unremarkable in one way, and very remarkable in another. I was comfortable in my own skin being in my home with my dogs on Christmas.

This Christmas, I am the laziest of all. My shop is brimming with decorations. My house is a bit lackluster for the holidays.

I am in the Christmas spirit. You can't have a shop full of twinkling lights and customers coming in wishing you "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" without catching the merriment. I have a tree decorated for the "Festival of Trees" for charity. I slip little trinkets to folks who come in the shop with their children. "Take a small ornament from the tree. It's free!" I like to watch the kids trying to decide which they like best. So Christmas at my shop is in full swing.

At home, I have a small silver tinsel tree with tiny white lights that sparkle in the dark. A few of my favorite artist crafted angels sit on my mantel. There are no other decorations, there are no presents under the little tree. I watch my Christmas movies snuggled with five dogs (I lost my old girl this year). There is no big hoopla. No road trips. I have a shop to manage and this is the busiest of times for it.

My shop has brought an unexpected gift this year. New friends. I still don't have a customer base to bring in cash sales, but I am rich in friendships now. That is something money can't buy. Perhaps that is what I love best about my shop and why I work hard to keep it. The people I meet fill me with comfort and joy. I am having Christmas dinner with a new single girlfriend this week. (Single friends are hard to come by when you have spent most of your adult life as a couple). Another friend has invited me to Christmas brunch with her family. I will see my bff later on Christmas day.

So much money has gone into my shop this year, I am not worrying about spending it on presents. I have freed myself from the need to spend money on gifts that no one really wants. We've all talked about that, and are good with it. What I am giving this year is love. I think that is a gift that is needed daily, not just for the holiday season. I will call my family and friends and tell them, "I love you!" We'll talk about memories past and look towards the future.

My shop will be open Christmas Eve as late as it needs to be. I don't expect a last minute customer to run in to buy a gift, but it is possible someone will be visiting the square, alone, trying to fill time on a holiday that is full of families. I've been there myself. A new friend at Christmas is the best gift of all. When I lock the door and head home, five dogs will be anxious to see me. I will feed them and starting calling my loved ones! I'll start with my mother. "I love you!" Then my cell will be busy all night.

Check out the post on The Balancing Act and leave a comment if you wish! http://www.thebalancingact.com/blogs/2011/12/19/this-christmas/

Wishing all of you a happy and safe holiday!  Hugs, Barbara

Its Time To Write A New Book! Thanks to The Balancing Act, I Am Getting My Act Together!

I write every day. I post blogs in various places. I talk about pulling them together into a new book. My brain spins trying to decide what to do first and how/where to go. A recent segment on The Balancing Act, Lifetime Television's morning show for women, has given me an answer and a bit of a challenge!

Sarah Gilbert, Lulu Press, was interviewed on The Balancing Act about creating personal books for friends and families. You can see the interview and read more about Lulu Press by clicking here.

Lulu.com, founded in 2002, is the leading self-publishing company in the industry with 1.1 million creators and 20,000 titles added to their collection each month. They provide anyone with the ability to publish print books, eBooks, mini-books, photo books, calendars, cookbooks and travel books. This means personalizing custom books or even calendars for the holidays.

I like the idea of a small personal book that I can share with my friends and family. Something to have fun with, rather than the ordeal of trying to piece together my next masterpiece! Although Lulu offers those services too.

Stay tuned and I will take you step by step on my journey with Lulu Press.

Interested in joining me? Do your own personal book with Lulu Press, e-mail me with your book info and I'll share it here!

Let's get creative and have some fun with Lulu!

Visit Lulu Press on Facebook and become a fan! 27,381 fans can't be wrong! Look for coupons and special offers with Lulu on Facebook.

A few of the services Lulu offers in addition to helping you self-pubish your book!

"Awkward Family Pet Photos", In Book Stores Today

I received a review copy of this book and it is a must have for pet lovers! Available today in bookstores!

I grew up with many odd animals, not just cats and dogs! "Awkward Family Pet Photos" brought back memories that made me smile!

The website is as wonderful as the book! Check it out  http://awkwardfamilypetphotos.com/

Run, don't walk, to your nearest book store! "Awkward Family Pet Photos", the funniest pet book you'll see this season, is available today. This book will steal the hearts of all animal lovers. “Awkward Family Pet Photos” is a must have book for anyone who loves their pets. It is mostly a book of outrageous photos of pets and their owners, mixed in with text and stories about some of the pet photos.

You know me. I must write one of the only widow blogs that constantly features dogs! My dogs rescued me, I like to say. Pets are a vital part of any family and are with you through the good times and help you through the bad. I sleep with my five. When you find a man who finds that a plus, call me! The photo below gave me hope!



Maybe this is the guy for me?
One of the few black and white photos in book.
Pet Noir.


As a pet owner myself I am as guilty as the next at dressing my dogs up for special occasions. My chihuahua wears a bunny suit at Easter, my female dogs pose in vintage hats, and my late German Shepherd looked fabulous in a fedora. I love taking photos of my dogs.

The late Mr. Jake. He could wear a hat!

We take for granted that our pets love these antics as much as we do. This book proves that most likely they do. Every page is chock full of color photographs of all kinds of pets. We all think of dogs and cats in family photos, this book goes way beyond the normal family pet, to include some extremely unusual critters that just don’t come to mind when you say “pet”. Yet each photo demonstrates the love of the owner for its special animal.

At first glance at this book, my head started to spin. There are so many photos it is overwhelming. This book is a bit kitschy with its brightly dazzling high gloss color images. Each page is chock full of images so that you can’t just flip through the book and toss it aside as a pretty coffee table book. The more you look at the pages and photographs, the more you see and the more you laugh. I love that this book will take time to ingest. I have many animal books that I’ve looked at and put away to browse through later. You can’t do that with “Awkward Family Pet Photos”, because you want to go back again and again to see what you’ve missed!

The chapters cover dogs, cats, birds, exotic pets, farm animals, family portraits, and holidays with pets. I was very captivated with some of the exotic photos, which included a couple who met while walking their sugar gliders (this actually reminded me of my mother, who had two sugar gliders. I never knew about sugar gliders until mom rescued the pair from a young man), the woman with a opossum in her hair (my old high school boyfriend and I shared two pet opossums, he'd bring his when he visited me and my female Opie), and the family portrait with the snake intertwined around everyone’s head (remember that 7 ft indigo snake, mom, that left mites on all the kids?). The book made me smile and brought back memories of my childhood with a mother who loved exotic animals more than cats and dogs. She has two cats now, but that is another story!

Photo from book. Is that a pet Tiger?

My favorite chapter, however, is the last on Awkward Pets, catching some animals in mighty strange positions! The sweetest in that category is the “bum sniffer” where the dog is sniffing a baby’s butt.

The humor in this book is as amazing as the photos. I went online to check the book out further, and found a YouTube video with a young woman reading the book and laughing so hard she kept tripping from room to room as she flipped through the book. You will laugh your bum off too when you start reading this charming, funny look at life with animals.

Kudos to Mike Bender and Doug Chernack for coming up with a winner! The book is available today in bookstores. If you love animals you owe it to yourself to buy several copies of this book. You will want to keep yours and it will make the perfect holiday gift for your favorite pet lovers.

My own awkward pet moment! That's Princess from The Flying Feathers, featured several times at my shop. I used this photo on a dating site with the heading, Dating Is For The Birds. Wonder why no one contacted me?

Do yourself a big favor! Buy a copy of this charming book today. Check your local book store or buy online with the link on the book website!

Now, excuse me, gotta run. I am inspired to go torture the dogs and take some photos of them wearing the new cowboy hats I purchased for my shop!  Yippee-ki-yay!

The Sleep Better And Win! Sweepstakes. A Win-Win For All!

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead! You’ve heard that from me before. I love that phrase! It makes me feel fearless. I stay up so late at night, it is sometimes morning by the time I crawl into bed. Not that bright sunshiny morning, but that early morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping (except for those on the night shift) and I am just pulling the quilt over my head.

I don’t sleep alone. I sleep with five dogs. Four sleep on the bed, the fifth, my only male, stays in the doorway protecting us from whatever demons he still sees. Of all my rescue dogs, Bray is the one who still looks up in fear if there is a loud noise or a quick movement. He is a mixed breed Afghan. His fur is long and black and he looks disheveled most of the time. The fur spikes at the top of his ears, make him appear like the Rod Stewart of dog world.

I can watch my dogs most nights as they sleep and stretch, because so much light comes through the mini-blinds on my windows. Moonlight, streetlights, and sometimes the outside night light flashes on when a critter runs by the motion detector. Too much light coming into the room at night, does not allow for total rest. I am learning more about how sleep affects my health, and I need to get better sleep habits.

The way you feel during the day, hinges on how you sleep at night. One of the key components to a better night’s sleep is darkness. My bedroom is well lit from the outside most every night. Turning off my bedside lamp darkens my room for a minute, then my eyes adjust, and the light shining in allows me to see the outline of everything in the room. There is no rest for me! No wonder I am tired most days. I can accomplish much with little sleep, but the quality of my sleep is poor.

Thanks to my friends at The Balancing Act, Lifetime TV’s morning show for women, I have found a solution and a great contest to enter.

Let me tell you about it.

The Official Curtain of the National Sleep Foundation, SoundAsleep ™ Room Darkening Curtains, will be appearing on The Balancing Act on October 24th and November 21st. (7 AM Weekdays). These curtains marry fashion, function, and design to create the perfect sleep environment for everyone. Their room darkening technology reduces penetrating light, which allows for a key factor for a good night’s sleep…darkness. They are available in 10 colors and 4 lengths, with 2 valance style options. Prices range from $19.99 to $34.99 depending on the curtains length. They are made out of washable textured chenille fabric and easy to purchase on Amazon.

The Sleep Better and Win! Sweepstakes will award a $500 Amazon Gift Card on November 23rd and the grand winner, to be announced on December 9th, will get a $1500 Amazon Gift Card.

The contest has already begun, but you can enter now! Just go the Sound Asleep Curtains Facebook Page and Like them. You will receive one entry for the sweepstakes, and may receive additional entries for sharing their page with your friends. Complete details on Facebook.

Just think, you could win an Amazon gift card, buy your curtains, and still have a big holiday spending spree.

A good night’s sleep is essential for a healthy day. It can be as simple as buying a lovely pair of room darkening curtains. Now that is a winning situation.

Follow on Twitter too!

We'd like some sleep too. Get those curtains!

Win a 2012 Suzuki In Lifetime TV's "The Balancing Act" Sweepstakes!

Great Prizes In the 3rd Annual Balancing Act Back To School Sweepstakes!

I love blogging for 'The Balancing Act'. Their online website is amazing. Not only is it a great site for information on women's issues and family news, it is amazingly interactive. Follow the videos of the latest TV interviews, read posts from a super list of bloggers covering issues that are relevant in today's world - or just plain fun to read! Exercise, news, book reviews, recipes, healthy choices, the amount of information is incredible and relevant to our lives as women. The TV show "The Balancing Act" is on Lifetime TV and can be found weekday mornings from 7am to 8am.

Right now you can win a 2012 Suzuki by entering their 3rd Annual Back To School Sweepstakes. Link here to go to the form to enter. How easy is that?

Then once you've entered, move around their site and see all the wonderful things they have to offer. Like The Balancing Act on Facebook. Keep up with all you need to know to make your life a happy, better place and have lots of fun with the great folks on this show.

The Balancing Act on Lifetime and The Southern Women's Show are bringing the popular morning women's show to life- with the "Balance Your Life" Road Tour". Join them as they launch the fall "Balance Your Life" series in Charlotte, NC on September 15th-18th. There will be exciting new exhibits from the many sponsors, celebrity guests, prizes...and so much more!

Check out this partial list of locations, then link above to the Road Tour, for a more complete schedule.

September 15 - 18, 2011 Women's Show Charlotte


October 6 - 9, 2011 Women's Show Birmingham

October 13 - 16, 2011 Women's Show Orlando

Meet a wonderful group of bloggers online! You can read my posts on Monday (or sometimes it is Tuesday, because, as all of you who know me, know by now, I am always a little late!). I am the CEO of Life on Monday! Click here or on the link on my sidebar for The Balancing Act blog!

Please, dear Balancing Act, put Atlanta on your tour one day. We are full of exciting women and offer lots of Southern Hospitality! Meanwhile, thank you for including me with your blogging team. It is my pleasure to be part of such an exciting group!

Join the mailing list for 'The Balancing Act' and get their online newsletter. Click here!

Oh True Love! The Courtship Dance

A spectacular display of the courtship ritual by Clark's Grebe in Oregon, US. Shown on the BBC documentary Life narrated by Sir David Attenborough. All rights belong to the BBC.