It's Official - A Torn Rotator Cuff, Surgery and A New Web

The words I was hoping not to hear. "Well, my dear, it's completely torn."

I looked at the doctor who was very pleasing to look at and batted my eyes. "What does that mean?" I knew what it meant, surgery.

"Going to have surgery, next Monday and then maybe eight weeks in a sling."

"Ouch."

"Have to tack it down all the way across."

You know you are a female when the biggest worry is hair. As in how will I do my hair?

It is my left arm which is good news. I can dress, do everything, slowly, even wash my hair in the shower and blow dry it. Then from there I just sit looking in the mirror. How do you style hair with one hand?

I am into plastic headbands from CVS at the moment. My new look, tosseled and pinned down with plastic. My fashion statement.

"You look younger," My good friend tried to make me feel better over dinner the other night. "Straight hair makes you look younger." She was on her second glass of wine. I was eating apple pie.

"And, hey," she waved her glass in the air to flag our waiter, "with that band around your chest holding the sling, you don't have to wear a bra."

I looked at my pie and when the waiter came to our table I ordered vanilla ice cream on the side.

I've written about my fall on The Red Room in glorious details. The truth on how I slipped revealed.

Then I wrote on the USA today.com a blurb on what I was reading these days.  You got it, pitched The Unfaithful Widow for sale on Amazon. I have been writing on many sites under the name writerwithdogs. I got a response back saying, "I wish I'd thought of that name."

I googled it and sure enough my writing under that name is everywhere. So I went and bought the domain writerwithdogs.com and now have a new web page.

A new book is in the works, Covered in Fur, which will be dogs stories, both real and fiction. Haven't figured it out yet, but with my trusty laptop I can mend after surgery sitting on my sofa, dogs by me feet, organizing my writing and sipping LaCroix sparkling water, since I am off caffine now for the surgery. Once weaned I like this better than my sodium and caffine filled sodas.

A bad hair day and a sparkling water. Almost has an aura to it.

Come visit my new web Writer With Dogs and see the fun I'm going to have while my shoulder mends.

I am putting together a media kit for The Unfaithful Widow and if you check my web there you can see it all. Even listen to my podcast on Nia Promotions. 

So busy at work is the best way for me to forget I've got surgery coming up. This could be just the ticket to get me writing again. Have been promoting like crazy and miss my little essays.

You will hear from me next after Monday when I tell you how this all works out.

Widow Lesson Learned: When life gives you lemons, write a book.

Almost Two Years, A Personal Reflection On Life

Next month it will be two years that I have been a widow. Because I have been working on my book, I've lost track of time.  I still saw the words, widowed before my sixith birthday as I wrote, then edited my book.  Now I realize I am older. Shocking. As shocking as it is that time has passed. I've been writing for almost as long. At first late at night to clear my head and deal with life and the quiet of my house. Then writing for the pleasure it gave me. Telling my story and living my story as I wrote it. My writing bringing me to the present. From widow to woman (or girl as I still like to be called). My old life as an antique dealer for the most part gone too. I still love a good treasure hunt, but for my house. My tiny booth is for recycling things that I am replacing. I am now a writer. Yes, I am self publishing my book, but that is not what makes me a writer. If I am lucky my book will bring warmth to those who read it. Like chatting with your best friend, telling your secrets, opening your heart. But writing has become a way of life for me now. I can't imagine not writing every day. When I took my screen play writing course, my teacher asked the class. Do you feel you have to write, that you can't escape it, that it is possessing you?  I shook my head and thought, not really. I am writing to heal myself and keep myself busy. Then somewhere it clicked. I must  write. I love to write. I live to write. So that is what makes me a writer. I love to write on this blog, my garden blog and I am writing on The Red Room, Where The Writers Are. My brain is spinning with things I want to put down on paper. I am a happy writer. I may make you cry with me on the way, but you will end up smiling after our visit. I dwell on the positive and want to share that.
Yes, I started dating shortly after my husband died. The Unfaithful Widow. But the reality of everything is that I like people, I like men (and that is sometimes hard with the dates I've met! You'll read about those). But finding my life, my place without my spouse was my answer. Not a replacement beau or husband. Maybe later. I had to do something extraordinary to deal with his death and the change in my life. So my book is that bridge for me. Writing my prince charming.
I write every night and send my heart out into the universe, hoping someone will be touched, someone will hear me. Maybe someone will laugh. Maybe cry. Maybe someone will realize they are not alone when reading my words.
I look at my widow blog and have to laugh. It should be my dog blog. How silly is that? But the inspiration and love I find with dogs is right up there with my writing. Both have rescued me.
Oh my, in August I'll be 62. I've had my broken heart, but I was lucky to have had so much time with my husband. I am lucky again that I have found myself through creativity and the love of dogs. My future, I plan to be surprised. But I am writing every day and there is a new book in the works.
I have a wooden plaque I found at the thrift store. Someone hand painted it. It hangs in my kitchen as a reminder that each day we have is a gift to be treasured.

Yesterday Is History,

Tomorrow Is A Mystery,

Today Is A Gift,

That's Why We Call It the Present.

Enjoy your present that is today. Send enough energy into the universe and let it bring you what you need. Smile and say thanks for this moment.

Those are the thoughts that keep me happy, that and six dogs who make every second a party at this house.