Thursday, September 9, 2010

How Many Bras Does It Take To Make You Secure?



Recently the topic of bras has come up in my conversations. Two events prompted this.

First, my book. The story about my rescue dog stealing my only bra raised eyebrows. What, only one bra? Sadly, I had to admit it was true. At the time I only owned one. And my dog grabbed it as I was trying to dress for work. I did snatch it out of Bray's loving mouth, shook it out, then slipped it on. I was late for work and my excuse that my dog stole my bra did not impress my boss at the gift shop. However, it did make her snort.

A very reserved friend of mine finally read my book and I was worried what she might think about my dating stories. We knew each other well from the antique world, but she was not privy to my private life. And there in my book was everything I had done in the year following my husband's death.

She called me after she finished it. "I loved it. Just one thing shocked me."

I hunkered down worried what had stood out the most to surprise her.  "I almost hate to ask, what?"

"I can't believe you only own one bra!"

I laughed and then decided it was time to go shopping for another bra, maybe two.

Remember, I am the gal that shops at thrift stores, so an adventure to the mall was not my style. But I needed a plan of action. I called a good friend. "Want to go with me to find some bras?"

"I am so relieved you are buying a new bra." She did sound relieved. "I was afraid you were going to shop at the thrift store for one."

I spent $93 that day on two bras. It broke my heart. I wanted to wear the pretty lace one on the outside of my $4.49 designer blouse from The Last Chance Thrift Shop that I had bought the week before. Sad to spend more money on my undergarments than the smokin' hot top I got for nothing.

I thought I had the bra issue under control. I actually walked around straighter with my chest puffed out a bit. A crew from the county was trimming tree limbs in front of my house. I stood tall and sashayed down the driveway to pick up my mail and turned to eye a handsome male perched high in the truck.

"Morning." I smiled at him. I threw my shoulders back and proceeded to walk back up towards the house.

I heard a large limb crash to the ground and knew my bra was worth every dollar I'd paid for it. And to think, I still have another in my dresser.

The second time? If only I had my mind on walking on June 29th when I dashed into my kitchen and slid on the floor, dislocating my shoulder and tearing my rotator cuff. Suddenly the world of bras had a different meaning to me. I didn't feel sassy, I was desperate. How was I going to get on a bra wearing a sling?

So began my journey to find a front closure bra. Back to the mall where I only found one. It was made to hold up a battleship. Never saw so many clasps.I would have passed out trying to fasten them all. It was huge! I may have been in a sling, but I wanted my sexy back.

Next, I went online and found a front closure bra I could live with, maybe. Not so sexy, but I was sure it would be easier work with. I missed the boat on that one too. The straps and body were one piece and there was no give to stretch across my back. I got rid of it quickly. The next person who shops for a bra at Goodwill may just find mine, brand new with tags for 99 cents.

I finally pulled out a sexy, lacy, low cut underwire bra I had tucked away during my bra splurge earlier. I eased out of my sling, as I have to do to dress. I flipped the bra over, pulled it around my back til I could fasten the three hooks in front, then pulled it back around to the front. All with one hand! Slowly I slipped in my right arm and then the left arm, careful not to jostle my shoulder. Everything fell into place and with a tug of the right hand I was secure. I looked down and actually grinned. I looked hot in that bra.

I slipped on my shirt (one of many I had to purchase that buttoned down the front) and headed to the doctor for my first check-up after surgery. I decided that sometimes sexy works better.  The lower cuts on this bra made it so much easier to get in and I liked the fact a little lace peaked back at my doctor as he gently removed my stitches.


I love my new bras and, while I still have to do the backwards twirl to get myself dressed, I am working it well. I have extras if my dog steals one and my friends no longer lecture me on bra ownership! If only I had known this earlier.

Widow Lesson Learned:  Bras can lift your spirits as well as your.....well, never mind.

1 comment:

Becky said...

Love your sense of humor about it all!