The Unfaithful Widow On The Balancing Act Blog!

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Ever feel like you’re the one always doing the talking?

The Unfaithful Widow can relate, in her recent blog, “I Have Been Talking Too Much!”.

Click on the blog link above and read my latest post on The Balancing Act. I am the CEO of Life on Mondays!

The Unfaithful Widow, Latest Post On 'The Balancing Act' Lifetime TV Blog!

This Christmas

My big decision this year is how late to stay open at my shop on Christmas Eve. I have no one to spend Christmas Eve with, so spending it at the shop is a great option. If I pushed, I could make plans. But this year I feel like winging it. This is my fourth Christmas as a widow and each year brings something different. Each Christmas leaves an impression unlike the year before.


My husband died in May. In December there were so many old memories, but I was grabbing at life as quickly as I could, and Christmas brought magic, not tears. No I didn't go see family. For twenty-five years we trecked to North Carolina for Christmas with his mother, back to the house for a day, then a trip down to see my mother in Florida, for New Year's Eve. Two dogs went with us. Packing them in the van was the hardest. Bigger dogs needed room. I'd make a platform in front of the seats with luggage covered in traveling quilts. Both dogs could stretch out looking ahead, fresh air hitting them from the front, keeping the dog puke factor down. Going over a huge mountain top meant one of the two would most likely get car sick. They loved the holidays and travel. I loved having them with us. My husband hated dog puke in the van.

The first Christmas on my own, I still had my two dogs. We stayed home. Mother and mother-in-law had their own plans. I refused to travel. I had lunch with my bff on Christmas day. She is a trained chef - now that was a Christmas dinner to remember. At seven I had a date. I tried dating too soon after my husband died. I wrote about it in my book. But I needed to be out in life to accept my new life alone. I met my date at the only local pub open on Christmas night. We drank coffee and talked about everything. His remark to me, which sums up how well I dated then, "Oh Barbara, Barbara, what are we going to do with you?" Somehow my husband got me, but no other male has since. But all and all, it was a lovely Christmas. We jumped in his huge black truck and went on a tour of lights in the surrounding neighborhoods. The evening ended with us eating pancakes at The Waffle House at 10 PM. He dropped me back at my car and I swear I heard him yell, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night", as he waved goodbye and disappeared into the night. We did not go out again, but he was my own Santa sharing Christmas memories to brighten my night.

My second Christmas, it was time for family. I flew my mother up from Florida and we hugged and laughed around the Christmas tree. By now the dogs had changed, as one had left me for dog heaven, but I had adopted three rescue dogs. So we had four dogs to make it a rollicking holiday. Friends came to visit, Each had a dog for their lap. They all loved my mother. Late at night she and I relaxed in our jammies and watched romantic Christmas movies. A Christmas full of love with my mother by my side.

Last Christmas I have trouble remembering. I had just signed a lease to open a shop the day after I launched my one and only copy of an online dog magazine. My dog number had grown to six. I didn't travel. I didn't date. I did see my bff. But I spent a quiet holiday, content with my dogs, sitting by the Christmas tree, making plans to open my storefront in January. My not being able to remember the details tells me two things, it was quiet and I accepted being on my own at the holidays. It was unremarkable in one way, and very remarkable in another. I was comfortable in my own skin being in my home with my dogs on Christmas.

This Christmas, I am the laziest of all. My shop is brimming with decorations. My house is a bit lackluster for the holidays.

I am in the Christmas spirit. You can't have a shop full of twinkling lights and customers coming in wishing you "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" without catching the merriment. I have a tree decorated for the "Festival of Trees" for charity. I slip little trinkets to folks who come in the shop with their children. "Take a small ornament from the tree. It's free!" I like to watch the kids trying to decide which they like best. So Christmas at my shop is in full swing.

At home, I have a small silver tinsel tree with tiny white lights that sparkle in the dark. A few of my favorite artist crafted angels sit on my mantel. There are no other decorations, there are no presents under the little tree. I watch my Christmas movies snuggled with five dogs (I lost my old girl this year). There is no big hoopla. No road trips. I have a shop to manage and this is the busiest of times for it.

My shop has brought an unexpected gift this year. New friends. I still don't have a customer base to bring in cash sales, but I am rich in friendships now. That is something money can't buy. Perhaps that is what I love best about my shop and why I work hard to keep it. The people I meet fill me with comfort and joy. I am having Christmas dinner with a new single girlfriend this week. (Single friends are hard to come by when you have spent most of your adult life as a couple). Another friend has invited me to Christmas brunch with her family. I will see my bff later on Christmas day.

So much money has gone into my shop this year, I am not worrying about spending it on presents. I have freed myself from the need to spend money on gifts that no one really wants. We've all talked about that, and are good with it. What I am giving this year is love. I think that is a gift that is needed daily, not just for the holiday season. I will call my family and friends and tell them, "I love you!" We'll talk about memories past and look towards the future.

My shop will be open Christmas Eve as late as it needs to be. I don't expect a last minute customer to run in to buy a gift, but it is possible someone will be visiting the square, alone, trying to fill time on a holiday that is full of families. I've been there myself. A new friend at Christmas is the best gift of all. When I lock the door and head home, five dogs will be anxious to see me. I will feed them and starting calling my loved ones! I'll start with my mother. "I love you!" Then my cell will be busy all night.

Check out the post on The Balancing Act and leave a comment if you wish! http://www.thebalancingact.com/blogs/2011/12/19/this-christmas/

Wishing all of you a happy and safe holiday!  Hugs, Barbara

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

What will I be when I grow up? Dreaming and working hard to have my dreams come true!

Every day I ask myself a question. It is usually the same question. What am I doing?

It is then followed by a second question, What will I be when I grow up?

Just because you are older, doesn't mean you've reached your final destination.

Life changes can  open doors and if you walk through them, amazing things can happen. Sometimes a change can be triggered by a sad event. Mine came from the death of my husband. I needed a new life, but I had no idea how or what to do. I just started moving forward.

Don't wait for a sad event to walk a new path. Sometimes it is just time to do something new. Reinvent yourself. Finally give in to the muse that has been haunting you for years.  Courage and faith move you when your feet are slow to take steps.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. (Yes, I revert to the dog saying, because I am Writer With Dogs on many sites!) The only dogs I can't teach new tricks are the spoiled pups at my house! But, I am older, and I am learning new things by leaps and bounds!

The last three years my creative energy has exploded!  I wrote my book. I self-published it. I started two more books. I launched a one-time online full color dog magazine. I became an independent publishing company, but only have my web page to show for it, "Gilbert Street Press", coming soon. I opened a small antique gift shop, with a twist, I have weekly art openings, book signings, and live music. I called it, The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques, the longest name I could think of for my tiny space. Then I opened the shop next to it as my events center, because I needed more room for all the lovely artists that started coming to my shop. Last week I opened  a third building, the Old Town Lilburn Center For The Arts. In six months I have expanded my vision for this tiny hub called Old Town that I love. My smiling, sweating face, in front of my shop, was featured on the cover on Lilburn's Up Close And Personal magazine, that is mailed to every Lilburn household. I am now President of the newly formed Old Town Merchants Association.

I still have my pack of dogs, missing my old gal Foxy, but five dogs keeps me pretty well loved. I am working on my books and publishing company, will have them in place by end of year. My inspiration - I need to get those start-up expenses on my tax returns! Now there is a creative incentive.

I blog on the Lilburn Patch. com and on The Balancing Act for Lifetime TV. I still find time to play catch-up on my own blogs.

I love all I am doing. I am doing everything but making money. I tell myself time will sort this out. I have faith I am where I am supposed to be at this time of my life. I turn 63 in August, two months away, and wonder every day, What will I be when I grow up?

I don't plan to be old and broke!

I have a plan. It is an odd one. It is centered on faith. Faith that what I am doing now includes more than just my having a business and succeeding. The little downtown area I chose to open my shop in was slowly vanishing. It is two half streets of shops, a city hall, and a large city park with incredible walking trails. The restaurant had just closed as I signed my lease last December, which has had a huge impact on shopping traffic. The restaurant closed for personal reasons. It was doing a whiz bang business. It was a very sad day for Old Town and the many people who loved the restaurant and its friendly owner. Six months later it is still the talk of the town because it is missed.

The city of Lilburn is huge, full of strip malls and subdivisons, the down town, historic area, is tiny. The railroad tracks cross Main Street. When I sit in my big wing chair, covered in vintage rose fabric, I smile when I hear that train. It drowns out any chance of continuing a conversation if I am in the middle of one, but it reminds me of all the charm that surrounds me.

Everything I have worked on is now centered in Old Town. I feel this year some answers will come and the historic hub is on the verge of something good! New merchants are filling empty buildings and with them comes the enthusiam of the young.

Me? Yeah, I am older. But I am not old. I am as excited as any of the younger folks coming into the area. I hope in some way my shops will inspire artists and authors of all ages to be proud of their art form. My shops will give them a voice. My plan is to slowly find others who want to rent and take over part of my three buildings. I hated the term, it takes a village, when it first came out. Now I am saying those words and loving them. It will take a village of talented writers and artists to keep my shop and Old Town rejunivated. It is a very exciting time to look forward to what may be and not back at what has gone.

What will I be when I grow up? I hope to be asking myself that question until my last breath. The journey of discovery of what I can be, what we all can be, is the best travel plan of all. You don't need answers when you have such an inspiring question!

Widow Lesson Learned:  It is never to late to discover your inner muse.



My Day On Kindle Nation! Review of The Unfaithful Widow

I haven't talked about my book lately, with all the other news going on in my life, ie, opening my shop this week. But I am working on some great things for my book this year, have started my own publishing company, Gilbert Street Press, and am working on two new books. A few months back I joined Support Kindle Nation and today my book is reviewed! Very exciting. This review goes to 6400 Kindle newsletter subscribers!


Kindle Nation Daily Free Book Alert, Thursday, January 20: 5-Star Fiction from the Hollywood Nobody series, plus ...Think "Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking Meets Jane Juska's Round-Heeled Woman" and You've Got The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone by Barbara Barth (Today's Sponsor)

Another great 5-star entry in Lisa Samson's YA "Hollywood Nobody" series tops this morning's freshly updated presentation of our 350+ Free Book Alert listings....

But first, a word from ... Today's Sponsor

And, speaking of 5 stars, here's a new discovery for your Kindle bookshelf that's been getting nothing but 5-star reviews!

Widowed, Barbara Barth has to figure out how to get happy again. No subject is taboo in her essays, she says. "From dealing with the funeral home (Can I show you our upgraded cremation package?)... to dating again... and those questions you hate to ask (Condoms anyone?)."

"It's a book for anyone seeking entertainment and anyone who might benefit from inspiration to keep going. It's also for everyone who likes dogs and soft-core dirty talk." --Michael N. Marcus, author of Stories I'd Tell My Children

The Unfaithful Widow

Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone

by Barbara Barth

5.0 out of 5 stars 5 Reviews

Kindle Price: $2.99

Text-to-Speech: Enabled

Don't have a Kindle? Get yours here.

"Grief defeated by laughter"

"Not just for widows !!!!!!"

Here's the set-up:

Welcome To My World. Doing All Those Things I Thought I’d Never Do Again.

The Unfaithful Widow is a collection of essays and fragmented thoughts on finding joy again after the loss of a mate. A memoir of the first year alone written with warmth and laughter, no subject is taboo. From dealing with the funeral home (Can I show your our upgraded cremation package? I looked at Miss Death, was I booking a vacation?) to dating again (He ran in the door, looked at me and said “I’ve left something in my car.” He never returned). Sprinkle in a bevy of rescue dogs (Finally a good nights sleep with someone new in my bed.) and those questions you hate to ask (Condoms anyone?). A story for anyone who has suffered loss and is determined to become their own super hero.

What the Reviewers Say

This is a charming story of how one woman fought her way back from the grief of losing her husband to a new future filled with faith and happiness. As you go along on her year's journey, you will cry a little, laugh a lot as she experiences trying to date on line, and the joy that came from adopting neglected dogs to fill her life with love.

This is not just a book for widows. This is a book for anyone who has a void to fill in her life. Be prepared for surprises with every chapter that will delight you.

--Audrey Frank

In her review, Audrey Frank said, "This is a book for anyone who has a void to fill in her life." That's much too limiting. No void is necessary, and the book is not just for females. It's a book for anyone seeking entertainment and anyone who might benefit from inspiration to keep going. It's also for everyone who likes dogs and soft-core dirty talk.

Barbara Barth is a master (mistress?) storyteller, with an uncanny ability to recall or recreate dialog. She is able to pluck humor from sadness. She shows proper respect for the past without being a prisoner of the past. Barbara demonstrates impressive resilience, strength and the ability to keep looking ahead despite widowhood, bad dates, and the death of a dog. Her unwillingness to accept cliche roles dictated by age, custom or gender are important lessons for everyone.

I don't want to concentrate only on the inspirational aspects of the book, because it is a LOT OF FUN. I read the Kindle version on a bumpy train ride. I was tired and woozy. A lesser book would have made me turn off my iPad. With Barbara's book, I kept tapping to turn the electronic pages to see what happens next. The woman sitting next to me wondered what was making me laugh and she started reading along with me. I read faster than she did, and let her catch up before I turned the pages.

Although I didn't "get" the cover illustration (it's apparently a chick thing) and at times I thought I was overhearing a conversation that was meant just for women (number of bras owned, evaluating a man's butt), at other times I thought Barbara was talking directly to me. Buy the book and hear what Barbara has to say to you. You won't be disappointed.

--Michael N. Marcus, author of Stories I'd Tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults) and other books

Losing a loved one is always difficult and sometimes you need the support of others who have been through the same situation. I have not lost a husband but I have lost loved ones. The essays in this book will help you feel both the loss and provide a bit of a "pick-me-up". Rescuing animals became Barbara's coping tool that allowed her to learn to live again. This book is funny, wise and very insightful.

I think that anyone who has lost a loved one, even if you aren't a widow, you will find parts in these essays that ring true to you. I love Barbara's voice and I like that she didn't hold back.
--Bridget Hopper

You can read more at Kindle Nation. Click here!

An Award From Psychology Degree Online Schools

Dogs Are The Sunshine Of My Life

I went through my e-mails deleting old messages and realized I had missed this particular one. My blog was awarded a badge as an essential resource for widows by Psychology Degree, an online web that helps people decide on careers in psychology. I was added to their list of blogs for widows/widowers.

I then came back and looked at my blog and had to smile. So many dog faces staring back at me! But then love is a great healing tool and dogs give unconditional love. I have that times six with my silly pack of hounds.

I do have an odd little blog on being a widow. But I think that my love of dogs, my heart open to life around me and my faith to move forward is certainly sprawled all over these posts. The same energy can be found in my book, The Unfaithful Widow! You can check it out on my web http://www.barbarabarth.net/.

Thank you, Psychology Degree for including me. Maybe someone will link to my blog that needs a warm hug and a sweet kiss and will be inspired to go to their local shelter to adopt a dog. As much as we are lost when a loved one is gone, there are lost dogs that can help mend a broken heart.

I am honored to be included in your list! Thank you!

Book Review "I'll Always Love You"

During an interview when I was on tour with WOW, Women On Writing, I was asked what book influenced me most as a child. Well, my mind went blank, a senior moment perhaps.( Dear Heavens, am I really using that phrase?). I don't remember books from my childhood, but I do remember a childrens' book from my adult life that I love to this day!

"I'll Always Love You" by Hans Wilhelm. This charming, sweet book was published in 1988, by Dragonfly books, and can be purchased on Amazon online.

The story is a simple one. Elfie, a dachshund, and her young boy progress happily through life together. As a young pup, Elfie is full of pep and pranks; but as her master grows taller and taller, Elfie grows fatter and slower. One morning Elfie does not wake up. The family grieves and buries her, and the boy refuses a new puppy. He is not yet ready for another pet; but when he is, he will tell that one, as he told Elsie every night, "I'll always love you."  (Amazon review).

The naive watercolor illustrations add to the feel of this dear book. It is one of the best books I have read on dealing with the loss of a pet and the lesson learned is one, that as adults, is a good one to remember. Tell those you love that you love them every day.

Written for ages four to eight, it is a book that every adult, who has ever loved and lost a pet, will treasure.

I tell my dogs every day I love them. I tell that to my friends and family too. It amazes me that a book written for a small child can have so much impact on my life as an adult!

A perfect little holiday gift to show those you love, that you love them!

I have to add my own two cents worth here. When your pet leaves you, remember there are dogs that are grieveing for a forever home. Don't wait before you find another true love. We can't replace those dogs we love, but we can love a dog that is lost and needs love. There is no better feeling than to open our hearts to animals in need.

Check with my favorite rescue group, Animal Action Rescue, to see dogs that need your love.

Widow Lesson Learned: Sometimes a childens' book can point an adult in the right direction on how to deal with life. 'I'll always love you,' Foxy, Bray, Annabelle, Chloe, Rascal, Bray, and mother, and all my dear friends.

Oh my, I'll remember my surgery next trip to the vet!

Rotator Cuff Surgery. If I were that cute, young and blonde, hey I wouldn't be having a bad hair day.

Be very afraid dear dogs. I don't now which one of you peed on the foor the day oh my fall, but you might want to watch carefully on you're next trip to the vet.
Aha! I looked at my dogs lined up before me while I eased myself onto the couch. My huge sling almost blocking them from view as I plopped ever so gently down on the cushion. Six little faces smiled at me, six tails wagging. Not one aware my accident might be their fault. And truth be told it was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going, moving so fast and then......well the rest is history.
Surgery this past Monday for the worst rotator cuff tear the doc had seen. To think I was just worried how I would do my hair. Makes me laugh I was so naive. Now I wonder how I'll get my bra on and shirt. If you can't get those two things on to leave the house, don't worry how your hair is doing!
I am actually happy to report how well this is going in spite of feeling like a fashion victim. The surgeon was fantastic. A sports ortho surgeon with the latest technology.
My big worry and big news is that I am going to have a 5 minute spot talking about my book on The Balancing Act on The Lifetime Network. Filming is in Ft.Lauderdale on August 30th.
"Have to be out of my sling by then, doc." I sounded cool, but I was having a panic attack.
"We'll get you in on Monday, but you'll have to hustle to get the pre-op done. "
Was home by 8pm the day of outpatient surgery. Ran straight by dogs and lay flat on my back, gut sick from meds. Funny thing by the next morning I stopped pain meds and started feeling human. Next day was good. Now my energy level is so high I gotta find a bra and button shirt so I can get out again. Stitches out this Thursday (five tiny spots around my shoulder arthroscopic surgery), sling for 6 weeks and then physical therapy for 6 plus weeks. Cool. I can handle this. Typing with one hand a challenge, but doable.
Left shoulder, not right. Thank you I talk to the man upstairs.
Another round of applause. Thank you Dr. Branch and nurse Tim, two angels of mercy for me. I took in a copy of The Unfaithful Widow and now one of the other nurses wants to meet me when my stitches come out. I feel almost famous.
Sometimes the things we fear can overwhelm us. Oh how I feared surgery.
My old motto from my workout days was not a good one. No pain, gee, no pain. Heck with the gain part.
Life keeps reminding me to be brave and when you come at something with an open heart, good things happen. In the overall scheme of my life will rotator cuff surgery be something that once again brings something from the universe, or will I finally just learn to stop whining when I get hurt? Either way it will be a winning streak for me.
I smile at my dogs. Soon, I whisper to each with love. Soon you'll be sleeping with me again. Try not to look so put out sleeping on the rose chintz slipcover chairs in the living room.
What a lazy bunch of hounds, but each watching me carefully to be sure I am OK.

Can we come in? Promise we'll be good.

Widow lesson learned: No pain, no gain. There is always something to be learned if we have faith to make the best of it.

Book Review From Canada for WOW

Book review: The Unfaithful Widow by Barbara Barth (click to read what they are saying about my book in Canada).

My blog tour continues with Silver & Grace. Click here to see Eliza's women's blog and click above for my book review. Every day Eliza has wonderful posts for women.


I love what she and her guests have to say and am so happy to have been included today! Thanks Eliza.

Widow Lesson Learned: A blog tour finds great new friends along its journey.