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Showing posts with label the balancing act. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the balancing act. Show all posts

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Merry Month Of May When The Widow Vs. WonderWoman





Ah, the month of May. I wrote about it in my memoir The Unfaithful Widow. It is a month that brought so much, then took so much, then put me back on my feet. I wondered if I should reminisce here, it is May again, or just stay with the 'new me' that feels more like Wonder Woman these days. But I would not be true to writing about my experiences if I let my thoughts go today. And if you know me, truth sets me free.

This blog started in December 2009 to get ready for the launch of my widow memoir. Everything I read about promotion for books enticed me to start early to have a small platform. This blog featured 'lessons learned' at the end of each post. My widow lessons learned came from lessons learned from my dogs. I loved adopting dogs so much, I now live with a pack of six rescue dogs that rescued me.

The month of May. How many memories can one month hold? It is the turning point for me each year to reflect. I met my husband in May all those many years ago. We married in May and had five years together as husband and wife, which added to the years we lived together, gave us a history of 25 years. He passed away in May 2008. In May 2009, I had a 'coming out' celebration at the house to celebrate my friends and all the love that was shared with me that year. I had just started my dog adoption frenzy, so there was just Foxy, the Grand Dame of small German Shepherds and Bray, my first rescue dog. It was easy to entertain in my house then with only two dogs.

Now, six years and six dogs later, it is harder to have people over, but I am working on it for my dog loving friends who are brave. As a mad collector of things, I kid, I could have a lovely tea party for six, and everyone could have their own Victorian silverplate tea service and a dog for their lap. My kind of tea party would also include a pitcher of Margaritas, so tasty with cheese straws and in tiny cups, so ladylike to keep sipping!

The Unfaithful Widow book launch was in May 2010 with a grand party at a friend's bed and breakfast and was an event/silent auction for Animal Action Rescue. I am still on their website under links we like. A very proud thing for me the crazy dog lady. We made some money for them that night. Every cent went to the folks that brought me Bray, and then some of my other dogs down the road. I had my first blog tour with WOW Women in Writing that month too. This May I am on tour with WOW again to promote my first fiction novel Danger In Her Words.

My wonderful Mother has her birthday on May 22nd. I can't forget that. It is a reminder how lucky I am to have her in my life. She reminds me you can do anything, be anything, at any age. She wrote when we were kids and went back to her writing roots at age 85. She will be turning 86 and has three books on Amazon with a fourth to come. Her website is Audrey Frank Author. She is the inspiration that keeps me moving forward thinking I can conquer the world, make my life what I want it to be, despite all the things that can go wrong, but can work for you if you leave your heart open.

Six years a widow this month. It seems so strange. At first the days seemed endless, how would I survive? Now I look back on all that has happened and wonder where the time has gone. I have the books I've written, my wonderful friends, both from years of knowing each other to new women who have enriched my life. I opened and closed an antique shop, The Little Shop of Arts and Antiques, that became a hub for writers and artists. I started a writers guild that still meets. A Book Talk blog to promote other authors.  I appeared in a snippet of an interview on Lifetime Television's The Balancing Act, a morning show for women. I blogged for them for several years. I sleep with dogs, hmm, not those bad dates I used to write about, but my wagging tail buddies that surround me with love.

I am in the same house, living a life close to home, that is as rich as any life I could ask for. My fears and loss made me step out of my comfort zone to do things I would never have done in the safety net of my marriage. But my marriage, my husband's constant for all those years, gave me a secure base to start from. It was about creating something good that would make sense of my loss.

Last August I turned sixty-five. I don't feel it. I do feel like an odd bird out some days, at my age there are no children, no grand kids, when most everyone I know, despite their marital status, has them. I wondered how life would be different if I'd had children. Then a new friend said to me she wondered what life would have been like if she didn't have her kids and grandchildren. There was food for thought for both of us. We decided we are happy where we are. Isn't that the best place to be in life? Happy.

Will I find someone again? It is still not my answer - although sometimes I think about it. What I found was me. I feel like Wonder Woman on so many levels.

I am blessed to have happiness. I am blessed to have the month of May to make me remember all that I loved, still love, and all that is yet to come.  A month that full has got to be a merry month!


Traded my widow crown for my Wonder Woman accessories. Wanting to be my own super hero.


 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Unfaithful Widow On The Balancing Act Blog!


Via "The Balancing Act" Facebook Page. Go Like them! And watch the show "The Balancing Act" on Lifetime TV, weekdays at 7 am.

Ever feel like you’re the one always doing the talking?

The Unfaithful Widow can relate, in her recent blog, “I Have Been Talking Too Much!”.

Click on the blog link above and read my latest post on The Balancing Act. I am the CEO of Life on Mondays!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Unfaithful Widow, Latest Post On 'The Balancing Act' Lifetime TV Blog!


This Christmas

My big decision this year is how late to stay open at my shop on Christmas Eve. I have no one to spend Christmas Eve with, so spending it at the shop is a great option. If I pushed, I could make plans. But this year I feel like winging it. This is my fourth Christmas as a widow and each year brings something different. Each Christmas leaves an impression unlike the year before.


My husband died in May. In December there were so many old memories, but I was grabbing at life as quickly as I could, and Christmas brought magic, not tears. No I didn't go see family. For twenty-five years we trecked to North Carolina for Christmas with his mother, back to the house for a day, then a trip down to see my mother in Florida, for New Year's Eve. Two dogs went with us. Packing them in the van was the hardest. Bigger dogs needed room. I'd make a platform in front of the seats with luggage covered in traveling quilts. Both dogs could stretch out looking ahead, fresh air hitting them from the front, keeping the dog puke factor down. Going over a huge mountain top meant one of the two would most likely get car sick. They loved the holidays and travel. I loved having them with us. My husband hated dog puke in the van.

The first Christmas on my own, I still had my two dogs. We stayed home. Mother and mother-in-law had their own plans. I refused to travel. I had lunch with my bff on Christmas day. She is a trained chef - now that was a Christmas dinner to remember. At seven I had a date. I tried dating too soon after my husband died. I wrote about it in my book. But I needed to be out in life to accept my new life alone. I met my date at the only local pub open on Christmas night. We drank coffee and talked about everything. His remark to me, which sums up how well I dated then, "Oh Barbara, Barbara, what are we going to do with you?" Somehow my husband got me, but no other male has since. But all and all, it was a lovely Christmas. We jumped in his huge black truck and went on a tour of lights in the surrounding neighborhoods. The evening ended with us eating pancakes at The Waffle House at 10 PM. He dropped me back at my car and I swear I heard him yell, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night", as he waved goodbye and disappeared into the night. We did not go out again, but he was my own Santa sharing Christmas memories to brighten my night.

My second Christmas, it was time for family. I flew my mother up from Florida and we hugged and laughed around the Christmas tree. By now the dogs had changed, as one had left me for dog heaven, but I had adopted three rescue dogs. So we had four dogs to make it a rollicking holiday. Friends came to visit, Each had a dog for their lap. They all loved my mother. Late at night she and I relaxed in our jammies and watched romantic Christmas movies. A Christmas full of love with my mother by my side.

Last Christmas I have trouble remembering. I had just signed a lease to open a shop the day after I launched my one and only copy of an online dog magazine. My dog number had grown to six. I didn't travel. I didn't date. I did see my bff. But I spent a quiet holiday, content with my dogs, sitting by the Christmas tree, making plans to open my storefront in January. My not being able to remember the details tells me two things, it was quiet and I accepted being on my own at the holidays. It was unremarkable in one way, and very remarkable in another. I was comfortable in my own skin being in my home with my dogs on Christmas.

This Christmas, I am the laziest of all. My shop is brimming with decorations. My house is a bit lackluster for the holidays.

I am in the Christmas spirit. You can't have a shop full of twinkling lights and customers coming in wishing you "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" without catching the merriment. I have a tree decorated for the "Festival of Trees" for charity. I slip little trinkets to folks who come in the shop with their children. "Take a small ornament from the tree. It's free!" I like to watch the kids trying to decide which they like best. So Christmas at my shop is in full swing.

At home, I have a small silver tinsel tree with tiny white lights that sparkle in the dark. A few of my favorite artist crafted angels sit on my mantel. There are no other decorations, there are no presents under the little tree. I watch my Christmas movies snuggled with five dogs (I lost my old girl this year). There is no big hoopla. No road trips. I have a shop to manage and this is the busiest of times for it.

My shop has brought an unexpected gift this year. New friends. I still don't have a customer base to bring in cash sales, but I am rich in friendships now. That is something money can't buy. Perhaps that is what I love best about my shop and why I work hard to keep it. The people I meet fill me with comfort and joy. I am having Christmas dinner with a new single girlfriend this week. (Single friends are hard to come by when you have spent most of your adult life as a couple). Another friend has invited me to Christmas brunch with her family. I will see my bff later on Christmas day.

So much money has gone into my shop this year, I am not worrying about spending it on presents. I have freed myself from the need to spend money on gifts that no one really wants. We've all talked about that, and are good with it. What I am giving this year is love. I think that is a gift that is needed daily, not just for the holiday season. I will call my family and friends and tell them, "I love you!" We'll talk about memories past and look towards the future.

My shop will be open Christmas Eve as late as it needs to be. I don't expect a last minute customer to run in to buy a gift, but it is possible someone will be visiting the square, alone, trying to fill time on a holiday that is full of families. I've been there myself. A new friend at Christmas is the best gift of all. When I lock the door and head home, five dogs will be anxious to see me. I will feed them and starting calling my loved ones! I'll start with my mother. "I love you!" Then my cell will be busy all night.

Check out the post on The Balancing Act and leave a comment if you wish! http://www.thebalancingact.com/blogs/2011/12/19/this-christmas/

Wishing all of you a happy and safe holiday!  Hugs, Barbara

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Its Time To Write A New Book! Thanks to The Balancing Act, I Am Getting My Act Together!




I write every day. I post blogs in various places. I talk about pulling them together into a new book. My brain spins trying to decide what to do first and how/where to go. A recent segment on The Balancing Act, Lifetime Television's morning show for women, has given me an answer and a bit of a challenge!

Sarah Gilbert, Lulu Press, was interviewed on The Balancing Act about creating personal books for friends and families. You can see the interview and read more about Lulu Press by clicking here.

Lulu.com, founded in 2002, is the leading self-publishing company in the industry with 1.1 million creators and 20,000 titles added to their collection each month. They provide anyone with the ability to publish print books, eBooks, mini-books, photo books, calendars, cookbooks and travel books. This means personalizing custom books or even calendars for the holidays.

I like the idea of a small personal book that I can share with my friends and family. Something to have fun with, rather than the ordeal of trying to piece together my next masterpiece! Although Lulu offers those services too.

Stay tuned and I will take you step by step on my journey with Lulu Press.

Interested in joining me? Do your own personal book with Lulu Press, e-mail me with your book info and I'll share it here!

Let's get creative and have some fun with Lulu!

Visit Lulu Press on Facebook and become a fan! 27,381 fans can't be wrong! Look for coupons and special offers with Lulu on Facebook.

A few of the services Lulu offers in addition to helping you self-pubish your book!









Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Sleep Better And Win! Sweepstakes. A Win-Win For All!



I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead! You’ve heard that from me before. I love that phrase! It makes me feel fearless. I stay up so late at night, it is sometimes morning by the time I crawl into bed. Not that bright sunshiny morning, but that early morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping (except for those on the night shift) and I am just pulling the quilt over my head.

I don’t sleep alone. I sleep with five dogs. Four sleep on the bed, the fifth, my only male, stays in the doorway protecting us from whatever demons he still sees. Of all my rescue dogs, Bray is the one who still looks up in fear if there is a loud noise or a quick movement. He is a mixed breed Afghan. His fur is long and black and he looks disheveled most of the time. The fur spikes at the top of his ears, make him appear like the Rod Stewart of dog world.

I can watch my dogs most nights as they sleep and stretch, because so much light comes through the mini-blinds on my windows. Moonlight, streetlights, and sometimes the outside night light flashes on when a critter runs by the motion detector. Too much light coming into the room at night, does not allow for total rest. I am learning more about how sleep affects my health, and I need to get better sleep habits.

The way you feel during the day, hinges on how you sleep at night. One of the key components to a better night’s sleep is darkness. My bedroom is well lit from the outside most every night. Turning off my bedside lamp darkens my room for a minute, then my eyes adjust, and the light shining in allows me to see the outline of everything in the room. There is no rest for me! No wonder I am tired most days. I can accomplish much with little sleep, but the quality of my sleep is poor.

Thanks to my friends at The Balancing Act, Lifetime TV’s morning show for women, I have found a solution and a great contest to enter.

Let me tell you about it.

The Official Curtain of the National Sleep Foundation, SoundAsleep ™ Room Darkening Curtains, will be appearing on The Balancing Act on October 24th and November 21st. (7 AM Weekdays). These curtains marry fashion, function, and design to create the perfect sleep environment for everyone. Their room darkening technology reduces penetrating light, which allows for a key factor for a good night’s sleep…darkness. They are available in 10 colors and 4 lengths, with 2 valance style options. Prices range from $19.99 to $34.99 depending on the curtains length. They are made out of washable textured chenille fabric and easy to purchase on Amazon.

The Sleep Better and Win! Sweepstakes will award a $500 Amazon Gift Card on November 23rd and the grand winner, to be announced on December 9th, will get a $1500 Amazon Gift Card.

The contest has already begun, but you can enter now! Just go the Sound Asleep Curtains Facebook Page and Like them. You will receive one entry for the sweepstakes, and may receive additional entries for sharing their page with your friends. Complete details on Facebook.

Just think, you could win an Amazon gift card, buy your curtains, and still have a big holiday spending spree.

A good night’s sleep is essential for a healthy day. It can be as simple as buying a lovely pair of room darkening curtains. Now that is a winning situation.

Follow on Twitter too!


We'd like some sleep too. Get those curtains!





Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Win a 2012 Suzuki In Lifetime TV's "The Balancing Act" Sweepstakes!

Great Prizes In the 3rd Annual Balancing Act Back To School Sweepstakes!



I love blogging for 'The Balancing Act'. Their online website is amazing. Not only is it a great site for information on women's issues and family news, it is amazingly interactive. Follow the videos of the latest TV interviews, read posts from a super list of bloggers covering issues that are relevant in today's world - or just plain fun to read! Exercise, news, book reviews, recipes, healthy choices, the amount of information is incredible and relevant to our lives as women. The TV show "The Balancing Act" is on Lifetime TV and can be found weekday mornings from 7am to 8am.

Right now you can win a 2012 Suzuki by entering their 3rd Annual Back To School Sweepstakes. Link here to go to the form to enter. How easy is that?



Then once you've entered, move around their site and see all the wonderful things they have to offer. Like The Balancing Act on Facebook. Keep up with all you need to know to make your life a happy, better place and have lots of fun with the great folks on this show.

The Balancing Act on Lifetime and The Southern Women's Show are bringing the popular morning women's show to life- with the "Balance Your Life" Road Tour". Join them as they launch the fall "Balance Your Life" series in Charlotte, NC on September 15th-18th. There will be exciting new exhibits from the many sponsors, celebrity guests, prizes...and so much more!

Check out this partial list of locations, then link above to the Road Tour, for a more complete schedule.

September 15 - 18, 2011 Women's Show Charlotte


October 6 - 9, 2011 Women's Show Birmingham

October 13 - 16, 2011 Women's Show Orlando

Meet a wonderful group of bloggers online! You can read my posts on Monday (or sometimes it is Tuesday, because, as all of you who know me, know by now, I am always a little late!). I am the CEO of Life on Monday! Click here or on the link on my sidebar for The Balancing Act blog!

Please, dear Balancing Act, put Atlanta on your tour one day. We are full of exciting women and offer lots of Southern Hospitality! Meanwhile, thank you for including me with your blogging team. It is my pleasure to be part of such an exciting group!




Join the mailing list for 'The Balancing Act' and get their online newsletter. Click here!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Latest Blog On The Balancing Act Made It To Their FaceBook Page. Cool!


While I have a Monday blog post on Lifetime Television's The Balancing Act each week I was very surprised and honored they posted my latest musings on their national Face Book page. If you'd like to read the entire post you can link to it here.  My handle is The CEO of Life. What does that stand for, you might ask! Creative, energized and old enough to know better! Truth is, if you know me, I don't know better - I just forge ahead. One of my favorite quotes, from an unknown source: I don't know why I did it, I don't know wy I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!

Widow Lesson Learned: You can find the light in the darkness! But I think I have been saying that for several years now that I have been on my own. A chill pill from Mother Nature helped me remember that!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Oh my, I'll remember my surgery next trip to the vet!

Rotator Cuff Surgery. If I were that cute, young and blonde, hey I wouldn't be having a bad hair day.

Be very afraid dear dogs. I don't now which one of you peed on the foor the day oh my fall, but you might want to watch carefully on you're next trip to the vet.
Aha! I looked at my dogs lined up before me while I eased myself onto the couch. My huge sling almost blocking them from view as I plopped ever so gently down on the cushion. Six little faces smiled at me, six tails wagging. Not one aware my accident might be their fault. And truth be told it was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going, moving so fast and then......well the rest is history.
Surgery this past Monday for the worst rotator cuff tear the doc had seen. To think I was just worried how I would do my hair. Makes me laugh I was so naive. Now I wonder how I'll get my bra on and shirt. If you can't get those two things on to leave the house, don't worry how your hair is doing!
I am actually happy to report how well this is going in spite of feeling like a fashion victim. The surgeon was fantastic. A sports ortho surgeon with the latest technology.
My big worry and big news is that I am going to have a 5 minute spot talking about my book on The Balancing Act on The Lifetime Network. Filming is in Ft.Lauderdale on August 30th.
"Have to be out of my sling by then, doc." I sounded cool, but I was having a panic attack.
"We'll get you in on Monday, but you'll have to hustle to get the pre-op done. "
Was home by 8pm the day of outpatient surgery. Ran straight by dogs and lay flat on my back, gut sick from meds. Funny thing by the next morning I stopped pain meds and started feeling human. Next day was good. Now my energy level is so high I gotta find a bra and button shirt so I can get out again. Stitches out this Thursday (five tiny spots around my shoulder arthroscopic surgery), sling for 6 weeks and then physical therapy for 6 plus weeks. Cool. I can handle this. Typing with one hand a challenge, but doable.
Left shoulder, not right. Thank you I talk to the man upstairs.
Another round of applause. Thank you Dr. Branch and nurse Tim, two angels of mercy for me. I took in a copy of The Unfaithful Widow and now one of the other nurses wants to meet me when my stitches come out. I feel almost famous.
Sometimes the things we fear can overwhelm us. Oh how I feared surgery.
My old motto from my workout days was not a good one. No pain, gee, no pain. Heck with the gain part.
Life keeps reminding me to be brave and when you come at something with an open heart, good things happen. In the overall scheme of my life will rotator cuff surgery be something that once again brings something from the universe, or will I finally just learn to stop whining when I get hurt? Either way it will be a winning streak for me.
I smile at my dogs. Soon, I whisper to each with love. Soon you'll be sleeping with me again. Try not to look so put out sleeping on the rose chintz slipcover chairs in the living room.
What a lazy bunch of hounds, but each watching me carefully to be sure I am OK.

Can we come in? Promise we'll be good.

Widow lesson learned: No pain, no gain. There is always something to be learned if we have faith to make the best of it.