What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

What will I be when I grow up? Dreaming and working hard to have my dreams come true!

Every day I ask myself a question. It is usually the same question. What am I doing?

It is then followed by a second question, What will I be when I grow up?

Just because you are older, doesn't mean you've reached your final destination.

Life changes can  open doors and if you walk through them, amazing things can happen. Sometimes a change can be triggered by a sad event. Mine came from the death of my husband. I needed a new life, but I had no idea how or what to do. I just started moving forward.

Don't wait for a sad event to walk a new path. Sometimes it is just time to do something new. Reinvent yourself. Finally give in to the muse that has been haunting you for years.  Courage and faith move you when your feet are slow to take steps.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. (Yes, I revert to the dog saying, because I am Writer With Dogs on many sites!) The only dogs I can't teach new tricks are the spoiled pups at my house! But, I am older, and I am learning new things by leaps and bounds!

The last three years my creative energy has exploded!  I wrote my book. I self-published it. I started two more books. I launched a one-time online full color dog magazine. I became an independent publishing company, but only have my web page to show for it, "Gilbert Street Press", coming soon. I opened a small antique gift shop, with a twist, I have weekly art openings, book signings, and live music. I called it, The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques, the longest name I could think of for my tiny space. Then I opened the shop next to it as my events center, because I needed more room for all the lovely artists that started coming to my shop. Last week I opened  a third building, the Old Town Lilburn Center For The Arts. In six months I have expanded my vision for this tiny hub called Old Town that I love. My smiling, sweating face, in front of my shop, was featured on the cover on Lilburn's Up Close And Personal magazine, that is mailed to every Lilburn household. I am now President of the newly formed Old Town Merchants Association.

I still have my pack of dogs, missing my old gal Foxy, but five dogs keeps me pretty well loved. I am working on my books and publishing company, will have them in place by end of year. My inspiration - I need to get those start-up expenses on my tax returns! Now there is a creative incentive.

I blog on the Lilburn Patch. com and on The Balancing Act for Lifetime TV. I still find time to play catch-up on my own blogs.

I love all I am doing. I am doing everything but making money. I tell myself time will sort this out. I have faith I am where I am supposed to be at this time of my life. I turn 63 in August, two months away, and wonder every day, What will I be when I grow up?

I don't plan to be old and broke!

I have a plan. It is an odd one. It is centered on faith. Faith that what I am doing now includes more than just my having a business and succeeding. The little downtown area I chose to open my shop in was slowly vanishing. It is two half streets of shops, a city hall, and a large city park with incredible walking trails. The restaurant had just closed as I signed my lease last December, which has had a huge impact on shopping traffic. The restaurant closed for personal reasons. It was doing a whiz bang business. It was a very sad day for Old Town and the many people who loved the restaurant and its friendly owner. Six months later it is still the talk of the town because it is missed.

The city of Lilburn is huge, full of strip malls and subdivisons, the down town, historic area, is tiny. The railroad tracks cross Main Street. When I sit in my big wing chair, covered in vintage rose fabric, I smile when I hear that train. It drowns out any chance of continuing a conversation if I am in the middle of one, but it reminds me of all the charm that surrounds me.

Everything I have worked on is now centered in Old Town. I feel this year some answers will come and the historic hub is on the verge of something good! New merchants are filling empty buildings and with them comes the enthusiam of the young.

Me? Yeah, I am older. But I am not old. I am as excited as any of the younger folks coming into the area. I hope in some way my shops will inspire artists and authors of all ages to be proud of their art form. My shops will give them a voice. My plan is to slowly find others who want to rent and take over part of my three buildings. I hated the term, it takes a village, when it first came out. Now I am saying those words and loving them. It will take a village of talented writers and artists to keep my shop and Old Town rejunivated. It is a very exciting time to look forward to what may be and not back at what has gone.

What will I be when I grow up? I hope to be asking myself that question until my last breath. The journey of discovery of what I can be, what we all can be, is the best travel plan of all. You don't need answers when you have such an inspiring question!

Widow Lesson Learned:  It is never to late to discover your inner muse.



A Sick Day, I've Got A Bug

That's the woman looking out to sea vintage painting over my bed. I got to see it most of the day. Sick. I've gotten a bug. So I can pamper myself, which can be fun, except for the feeling like crap part. But most of the day found me under my quilt - surrounded by dogs. I can look across the room and see my favorite painting reflected in the mirror. This painting makes me so serene. It keeps my mind occupied too. Painted in the 1960's by an art teacher in Georgia, I wonder what was on his mind when he painted her. My mind questions her all the time. Is she waiting for her man who is out fishing or is she a widow like me, just looking out to sea comtemplating her future? Maybe she's written a book and is waiting to see if the mail will bring an offer from a publishing company? I love to play with her in my mind! It is one big painting and I won her on Ebay. Right after my husband died I went on my jag to decorate my way. A survival method that kept me busy hauling stuff from the house to my antique booth and gave me an excuse to hit my favorite shops. A good distraction when one was badly needed. Now my bedroom is filled with ice cream colored cottage furniture and when the sun comes in the room it looks like a day at the beach. After I finished moving things in and out I stood back and looked at my room, hands on my hips to be sure I gave it a very impartial look over. My god, all I could think, it looks like a teenage girl lives here! My rose paintings on the wall made the room too sweet. So, my answer, the lady, a harsh, stotic woman looking out to the sea. Then the other paintings were changed out for beach paintings. Modern and vintage. Gave the room punch. My husband's best friend came up from Florida to help me with boxing things that needed to go. He and his wife have an elegant home and my way of decorating can give men the willies. We went to the bedroom to hit the closet and box my husband clothes. He smiled at me and asked, what bedroom is this? The master bedroom, I answered. The brief look that crossed his face told me he was horrified. I've changed it out, I explained. I see, he replied. I could tell he was sure it was my decorating that had done my husband in. It is a sissy room, a girly room, full of pinks,blues and greens. A room that says life is fun. When I lay in bed I can let my eye roam and there is always something that makes me smile.

Some folks have said a bedroom needs to be serene, calm, free of clutter. My mind is cluttered thinking of things to do every second, so a serene room would only allow my brain to keep spinning. When I enter my bedroom, my brain switches gears, instead of thinking, it just relaxes and looks at the eye candy. Eye candy that lets me drift off quietly to sleep looking at things I love.

At first I thought no man would want to enter this room because it is so girly. Then I said who cares!  Its not the decorating he will be coming to see. Candles can make a room romantic, so I keep one handy just in case. Now I've filled the house with dogs. Dogs who like to sleep in bed. Simple solution, a bag of bones is now tucked in by the candle. Six big old chew bones. When a man comes down my long hallway to my bed, I'll light a candle, toss six bones down the hall and slam the door quickly. Maybe a blindfold would be in order for the guy walking down that gangplank to pleasure in my room. He could decide if he wanted to take it off or leave it on. Playing pirates can be fun. Widow Lesson Learned: A room full of eye candy can sooth a mind that is spinning all the time.