Lately I've Been Thinking About Shoes

This?

Or This?

I've been watching more TV than usual since my rotator cuff surgery. I lean back on the sofa, my big black sling rising like a phoenix from my side, a can of soda within reach, my little Chloe curled on my lap, five other dogs stretched over chairs and my feet propped up on a foot stool. I look at my feet and there are my cozy black canvas Mary Jane shoes tapping against each other.

I am bored watching yet another show. But I am resting my shoulder, arm and back since I have actually been out shopping and am in some discomfort from all the movement earlier in the day. I am not on pain meds, which may be why the current show I am watching is painful.

I am on the E network, where yet another young star is prancing down the red carpet in tall heels. You know those sexy, spike heels that are called *whoops* F/ME shoes. I haven't worn heels of any height in 15 years. Day after day they parade by in shoes that are so high I tremble they may trip and fall. How does anyone balance on those spikes?

I am watching the TV over my own pitiful, flat, comfy Mary Janes that are propped up on a footstool directly in my vision as I am slumped down on the couch. (Note: since slipping in the kitchen in my bare feet I  wear shoes at all times).

Now, not only my sling is making me feel sexless, I am worried my favorite shoes are dated or, perhaps, just leaving me dateless.

I love Mary Janes. That is all I wear most all the time. Canvas for casual, black for business, and silver for evening. I do wear flat ankle boots in winter. But still no heels.

Is there a man alive who will consider me hot in my Mary Janes? Then I think, is there a man alive who could make me want to wear heels? My answer, no. That may be why I sit at home with six dogs.

I think style can be expressed in many ways. Mine is casual, funky, a little cowgirl in the winter. I am never as cute dressed in my clothes as I feel. But it is how I feel that I like when I am dressed in things I love.

I shop at thrift stores and buy designer coats for $10. Perfect. I find long skirts, frilly T's, and vintage hip length jackets to wear over jeans for dress up. I bought a Coach bag for $16.

I love to layer jewelry, both vintage and newly made artist pieces. I am eagerly awaiting my Silver And Grace necklace from Eliza's Fire Collection called Heartbeat. A red gem that will accent layers of chunky turquoise necklaces.

No one will care what I wear that day, my jewelry will bedazzle them. My flat Mary Janes will keep me grounded under the weight of my jewelry. Bet I would topple over in spike heels and, well, tear my other rotator cuff. So Mary Janes seem appropriate yet again.

Another plus, not related to fashion -  I don't mind short men.

I do have a fantasy. I am in a flirty skirt, my legs are flawless, my heels shameless and men are dropping like flies when I walk pass them on the street. I step over each man carefully so I won't accidently pierce him with my spikes.

I think this reoccurring dream comes from a song I love by Kristy MacColl, In These Shoes. It was the song in the end credits for the movie Kinky Boots.



Widow Lesson Learned: It is better to walk tall in flats than to fall flat on your face trying to be something you are not.