Read My Lips

See these ruby red lips.  If you are a guy and are reading my blog, consider yourself kissed. I am writing tonight to say I kiss more than the dogs. Nothing hotter than the kiss of a lonely widow ready to play. This adult content is for a dear family member who said, "no wonder she can't date, all she talks about are the dogs." So, dear loved one, tonight I'll talk trash. Hot kisses, wet kisses, all the kisses one could want. Providing you don't mind the fact they've kissed a dog first.  Gotcha! Silly me, still talking dogs instead of sex!
I know there is a man out there saying to himself, "I really want to meet the kind of woman who is cool, wears vintage leather jackets, jeans and gobs of turquoise jewlery. I love it she wears ankle boots in the winter and mary janes in the summer. I like that she thinks green and recycles clothing buying at Goodwill. The more dogs she has the hotter she'll be. So much love to share. We'll eat drink and be happy, and I won't mind if she has a few extra pounds as long as those pounds are just for me. I like it she isn't trying to impress me, but wants me to impress her. So what if she doesn't cook, rarely vaccums and never dusts. I can take pills for my allergies. I don't mind sleeping alone while she is up all night writing, as long as she starts the evening in the bedroom. She can do whatever she wants as long as she wants me there with her. Thats the hot widow chick I am looking for."
If you are a male reading this and saying, those are my thougths exactly, pick up the phone and call me! You can find me under 1 -800- hot widow.
So sis, can I RIP?  Love ya.

Widow lesson learned: Sometimes you have to talk about something other than the dogs or you could be a dog of a date!