Confessions Of The Unfaithful Widow

The Unfaithful Widow On The Balancing Act Blog!

2012-01-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Via "The Balancing Act" Facebook Page. Go Like them! And watch the show "The Balancing Act" on Lifetime TV, weekdays at 7 am.

Ever feel like you’re the one always doing the talking?

The Unfaithful Widow can relate, in her recent blog, “I Have Been Talking Too Much!”.

Click on the blog link above and read my latest post on The Balancing Act. I am the CEO of Life on Mondays!

The Unfaithful Widow, Latest Post On 'The Balancing Act' Lifetime TV Blog!

2011-12-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

This Christmas

My big decision this year is how late to stay open at my shop on Christmas Eve. I have no one to spend Christmas Eve with, so spending it at the shop is a great option. If I pushed, I could make plans. But this year I feel like winging it. This is my fourth Christmas as a widow and each year brings something different. Each Christmas leaves an impression unlike the year before.

My husband died in May. In December there were so many old memories, but I was grabbing at life as quickly as I could, and Christmas brought magic, not tears. No I didn't go see family. For twenty-five years we trecked to North Carolina for Christmas with his mother, back to the house for a day, then a trip down to see my mother in Florida, for New Year's Eve. Two dogs went with us. Packing them in the van was the hardest. Bigger dogs needed room. I'd make a platform in front of the seats with luggage covered in traveling quilts. Both dogs could stretch out looking ahead, fresh air hitting them from the front, keeping the dog puke factor down. Going over a huge mountain top meant one of the two would most likely get car sick. They loved the holidays and travel. I loved having them with us. My husband hated dog puke in the van.

The first Christmas on my own, I still had my two dogs. We stayed home. Mother and mother-in-law had their own plans. I refused to travel. I had lunch with my bff on Christmas day. She is a trained chef - now that was a Christmas dinner to remember. At seven I had a date. I tried dating too soon after my husband died. I wrote about it in my book. But I needed to be out in life to accept my new life alone. I met my date at the only local pub open on Christmas night. We drank coffee and talked about everything. His remark to me, which sums up how well I dated then, "Oh Barbara, Barbara, what are we going to do with you?" Somehow my husband got me, but no other male has since. But all and all, it was a lovely Christmas. We jumped in his huge black truck and went on a tour of lights in the surrounding neighborhoods. The evening ended with us eating pancakes at The Waffle House at 10 PM. He dropped me back at my car and I swear I heard him yell, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night", as he waved goodbye and disappeared into the night. We did not go out again, but he was my own Santa sharing Christmas memories to brighten my night.

My second Christmas, it was time for family. I flew my mother up from Florida and we hugged and laughed around the Christmas tree. By now the dogs had changed, as one had left me for dog heaven, but I had adopted three rescue dogs. So we had four dogs to make it a rollicking holiday. Friends came to visit, Each had a dog for their lap. They all loved my mother. Late at night she and I relaxed in our jammies and watched romantic Christmas movies. A Christmas full of love with my mother by my side.

Last Christmas I have trouble remembering. I had just signed a lease to open a shop the day after I launched my one and only copy of an online dog magazine. My dog number had grown to six. I didn't travel. I didn't date. I did see my bff. But I spent a quiet holiday, content with my dogs, sitting by the Christmas tree, making plans to open my storefront in January. My not being able to remember the details tells me two things, it was quiet and I accepted being on my own at the holidays. It was unremarkable in one way, and very remarkable in another. I was comfortable in my own skin being in my home with my dogs on Christmas.

This Christmas, I am the laziest of all. My shop is brimming with decorations. My house is a bit lackluster for the holidays.

I am in the Christmas spirit. You can't have a shop full of twinkling lights and customers coming in wishing you "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" without catching the merriment. I have a tree decorated for the "Festival of Trees" for charity. I slip little trinkets to folks who come in the shop with their children. "Take a small ornament from the tree. It's free!" I like to watch the kids trying to decide which they like best. So Christmas at my shop is in full swing.

At home, I have a small silver tinsel tree with tiny white lights that sparkle in the dark. A few of my favorite artist crafted angels sit on my mantel. There are no other decorations, there are no presents under the little tree. I watch my Christmas movies snuggled with five dogs (I lost my old girl this year). There is no big hoopla. No road trips. I have a shop to manage and this is the busiest of times for it.

My shop has brought an unexpected gift this year. New friends. I still don't have a customer base to bring in cash sales, but I am rich in friendships now. That is something money can't buy. Perhaps that is what I love best about my shop and why I work hard to keep it. The people I meet fill me with comfort and joy. I am having Christmas dinner with a new single girlfriend this week. (Single friends are hard to come by when you have spent most of your adult life as a couple). Another friend has invited me to Christmas brunch with her family. I will see my bff later on Christmas day.

So much money has gone into my shop this year, I am not worrying about spending it on presents. I have freed myself from the need to spend money on gifts that no one really wants. We've all talked about that, and are good with it. What I am giving this year is love. I think that is a gift that is needed daily, not just for the holiday season. I will call my family and friends and tell them, "I love you!" We'll talk about memories past and look towards the future.

My shop will be open Christmas Eve as late as it needs to be. I don't expect a last minute customer to run in to buy a gift, but it is possible someone will be visiting the square, alone, trying to fill time on a holiday that is full of families. I've been there myself. A new friend at Christmas is the best gift of all. When I lock the door and head home, five dogs will be anxious to see me. I will feed them and starting calling my loved ones! I'll start with my mother. "I love you!" Then my cell will be busy all night.

Check out the post on The Balancing Act and leave a comment if you wish! http://www.thebalancingact.com/blogs/2011/12/19/this-christmas/

Wishing all of you a happy and safe holiday! Hugs, Barbara

Its Time To Write A New Book! Thanks to The Balancing Act, I Am Getting My Act Together!

2011-12-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

I write every day. I post blogs in various places. I talk about pulling them together into a new book. My brain spins trying to decide what to do first and how/where to go. A recent segment on The Balancing Act, Lifetime Television's morning show for women, has given me an answer and a bit of a challenge!

Sarah Gilbert, Lulu Press, was interviewed on The Balancing Act about creating personal books for friends and families. You can see the interview and read more about Lulu Press by clicking here.

Lulu.com, founded in 2002, is the leading self-publishing company in the industry with 1.1 million creators and 20,000 titles added to their collection each month. They provide anyone with the ability to publish print books, eBooks, mini-books, photo books, calendars, cookbooks and travel books. This means personalizing custom books or even calendars for the holidays.

I like the idea of a small personal book that I can share with my friends and family. Something to have fun with, rather than the ordeal of trying to piece together my next masterpiece! Although Lulu offers those services too.

Stay tuned and I will take you step by step on my journey with Lulu Press.

Interested in joining me? Do your own personal book with Lulu Press, e-mail me with your book info and I'll share it here!

Let's get creative and have some fun with Lulu!

Visit Lulu Press on Facebook and become a fan! 27,381 fans can't be wrong! Look for coupons and special offers with Lulu on Facebook.

A few of the services Lulu offers in addition to helping you self-pubish your book!

"Awkward Family Pet Photos", In Book Stores Today

2011-11-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

I received a review copy of this book and it is a must have for pet lovers! Available today in bookstores!

I grew up with many odd animals, not just cats and dogs! "Awkward Family Pet Photos" brought back memories that made me smile!

The website is as wonderful as the book! Check it out http://awkwardfamilypetphotos.com/

Run, don't walk, to your nearest book store! "Awkward Family Pet Photos", the funniest pet book you'll see this season, is available today. This book will steal the hearts of all animal lovers. “Awkward Family Pet Photos” is a must have book for anyone who loves their pets. It is mostly a book of outrageous photos of pets and their owners, mixed in with text and stories about some of the pet photos.

You know me. I must write one of the only widow blogs that constantly features dogs! My dogs rescued me, I like to say. Pets are a vital part of any family and are with you through the good times and help you through the bad. I sleep with my five. When you find a man who finds that a plus, call me! The photo below gave me hope!

Maybe this is the guy for me?
One of the few black and white photos in book.
Pet Noir.

As a pet owner myself I am as guilty as the next at dressing my dogs up for special occasions. My chihuahua wears a bunny suit at Easter, my female dogs pose in vintage hats, and my late German Shepherd looked fabulous in a fedora. I love taking photos of my dogs.

The late Mr. Jake. He could wear a hat!

We take for granted that our pets love these antics as much as we do. This book proves that most likely they do. Every page is chock full of color photographs of all kinds of pets. We all think of dogs and cats in family photos, this book goes way beyond the normal family pet, to include some extremely unusual critters that just don’t come to mind when you say “pet”. Yet each photo demonstrates the love of the owner for its special animal.

At first glance at this book, my head started to spin. There are so many photos it is overwhelming. This book is a bit kitschy with its brightly dazzling high gloss color images. Each page is chock full of images so that you can’t just flip through the book and toss it aside as a pretty coffee table book. The more you look at the pages and photographs, the more you see and the more you laugh. I love that this book will take time to ingest. I have many animal books that I’ve looked at and put away to browse through later. You can’t do that with “Awkward Family Pet Photos”, because you want to go back again and again to see what you’ve missed!

The chapters cover dogs, cats, birds, exotic pets, farm animals, family portraits, and holidays with pets. I was very captivated with some of the exotic photos, which included a couple who met while walking their sugar gliders (this actually reminded me of my mother, who had two sugar gliders. I never knew about sugar gliders until mom rescued the pair from a young man), the woman with a opossum in her hair (my old high school boyfriend and I shared two pet opossums, he'd bring his when he visited me and my female Opie), and the family portrait with the snake intertwined around everyone’s head (remember that 7 ft indigo snake, mom, that left mites on all the kids?). The book made me smile and brought back memories of my childhood with a mother who loved exotic animals more than cats and dogs. She has two cats now, but that is another story!

Photo from book. Is that a pet Tiger?

My favorite chapter, however, is the last on Awkward Pets, catching some animals in mighty strange positions! The sweetest in that category is the “bum sniffer” where the dog is sniffing a baby’s butt.

The humor in this book is as amazing as the photos. I went online to check the book out further, and found a YouTube video with a young woman reading the book and laughing so hard she kept tripping from room to room as she flipped through the book. You will laugh your bum off too when you start reading this charming, funny look at life with animals.

Kudos to Mike Bender and Doug Chernack for coming up with a winner! The book is available today in bookstores. If you love animals you owe it to yourself to buy several copies of this book. You will want to keep yours and it will make the perfect holiday gift for your favorite pet lovers.

My own awkward pet moment! That's Princess from The Flying Feathers, featured several times at my shop. I used this photo on a dating site with the heading, Dating Is For The Birds. Wonder why no one contacted me?

Do yourself a big favor! Buy a copy of this charming book today. Check your local book store or buy online with the link on the book website!

Now, excuse me, gotta run. I am inspired to go torture the dogs and take some photos of them wearing the new cowboy hats I purchased for my shop! Yippee-ki-yay!

The Sleep Better And Win! Sweepstakes. A Win-Win For All!

2011-10-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead! You’ve heard that from me before. I love that phrase! It makes me feel fearless. I stay up so late at night, it is sometimes morning by the time I crawl into bed. Not that bright sunshiny morning, but that early morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping (except for those on the night shift) and I am just pulling the quilt over my head.

I don’t sleep alone. I sleep with five dogs. Four sleep on the bed, the fifth, my only male, stays in the doorway protecting us from whatever demons he still sees. Of all my rescue dogs, Bray is the one who still looks up in fear if there is a loud noise or a quick movement. He is a mixed breed Afghan. His fur is long and black and he looks disheveled most of the time. The fur spikes at the top of his ears, make him appear like the Rod Stewart of dog world.

I can watch my dogs most nights as they sleep and stretch, because so much light comes through the mini-blinds on my windows. Moonlight, streetlights, and sometimes the outside night light flashes on when a critter runs by the motion detector. Too much light coming into the room at night, does not allow for total rest. I am learning more about how sleep affects my health, and I need to get better sleep habits.

The way you feel during the day, hinges on how you sleep at night. One of the key components to a better night’s sleep is darkness. My bedroom is well lit from the outside most every night. Turning off my bedside lamp darkens my room for a minute, then my eyes adjust, and the light shining in allows me to see the outline of everything in the room. There is no rest for me! No wonder I am tired most days. I can accomplish much with little sleep, but the quality of my sleep is poor.

Thanks to my friends at The Balancing Act, Lifetime TV’s morning show for women, I have found a solution and a great contest to enter.

Let me tell you about it.

The Official Curtain of the National Sleep Foundation, SoundAsleep ™ Room Darkening Curtains, will be appearing on The Balancing Act on October 24th and November 21st. (7 AM Weekdays). These curtains marry fashion, function, and design to create the perfect sleep environment for everyone. Their room darkening technology reduces penetrating light, which allows for a key factor for a good night’s sleep…darkness. They are available in 10 colors and 4 lengths, with 2 valance style options. Prices range from $19.99 to $34.99 depending on the curtains length. They are made out of washable textured chenille fabric and easy to purchase on Amazon.

The Sleep Better and Win! Sweepstakes will award a $500 Amazon Gift Card on November 23rd and the grand winner, to be announced on December 9th, will get a $1500 Amazon Gift Card.

The contest has already begun, but you can enter now! Just go the Sound Asleep Curtains Facebook Page and Like them. You will receive one entry for the sweepstakes, and may receive additional entries for sharing their page with your friends. Complete details on Facebook.

Just think, you could win an Amazon gift card, buy your curtains, and still have a big holiday spending spree.

A good night’s sleep is essential for a healthy day. It can be as simple as buying a lovely pair of room darkening curtains. Now that is a winning situation.

Follow on Twitter too!

We'd like some sleep too. Get those curtains!

Win a 2012 Suzuki In Lifetime TV's "The Balancing Act" Sweepstakes!

2011-09-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Great Prizes In the 3rd Annual Balancing Act Back To School Sweepstakes!

I love blogging for 'The Balancing Act'. Their online website is amazing. Not only is it a great site for information on women's issues and family news, it is amazingly interactive. Follow the videos of the latest TV interviews, read posts from a super list of bloggers covering issues that are relevant in today's world - or just plain fun to read! Exercise, news, book reviews, recipes, healthy choices, the amount of information is incredible and relevant to our lives as women. The TV show "The Balancing Act" is on Lifetime TV and can be found weekday mornings from 7am to 8am.

Right now you can win a 2012 Suzuki by entering their 3rd Annual Back To School Sweepstakes. Link here to go to the form to enter. How easy is that?

Then once you've entered, move around their site and see all the wonderful things they have to offer. Like The Balancing Act on Facebook. Keep up with all you need to know to make your life a happy, better place and have lots of fun with the great folks on this show.

The Balancing Act on Lifetime and The Southern Women's Show are bringing the popular morning women's show to life- with the "Balance Your Life" Road Tour". Join them as they launch the fall "Balance Your Life" series in Charlotte, NC on September 15th-18th. There will be exciting new exhibits from the many sponsors, celebrity guests, prizes...and so much more!

Check out this partial list of locations, then link above to the Road Tour, for a more complete schedule.

September 15 - 18, 2011 Women's Show Charlotte

October 6 - 9, 2011 Women's Show Birmingham

October 13 - 16, 2011 Women's Show Orlando

Meet a wonderful group of bloggers online! You can read my posts on Monday (or sometimes it is Tuesday, because, as all of you who know me, know by now, I am always a little late!). I am the CEO of Life on Monday! Click here or on the link on my sidebar for The Balancing Act blog!

Please, dear Balancing Act, put Atlanta on your tour one day. We are full of exciting women and offer lots of Southern Hospitality! Meanwhile, thank you for including me with your blogging team. It is my pleasure to be part of such an exciting group!

Join the mailing list for 'The Balancing Act' and get their online newsletter. Click here!

Oh True Love! The Courtship Dance

2011-08-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

A spectacular display of the courtship ritual by Clark's Grebe in Oregon, US. Shown on the BBC documentary Life narrated by Sir David Attenborough. All rights belong to the BBC.

My Latest Blog On The Balancing Act Made It To Their FaceBook Page. Cool!

2011-06-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

While I have a Monday blog post on Lifetime Television's The Balancing Act each week I was very surprised and honored they posted my latest musings on their national Face Book page. If you'd like to read the entire post you can link to it here. My handle is The CEO of Life. What does that stand for, you might ask! Creative, energized and old enough to know better! Truth is, if you know me, I don't know better - I just forge ahead. One of my favorite quotes, from an unknown source: I don't know why I did it, I don't know wy I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!

Widow Lesson Learned: You can find the light in the darkness! But I think I have been saying that for several years now that I have been on my own. A chill pill from Mother Nature helped me remember that!

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

2011-06-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

What will I be when I grow up? Dreaming and working hard to have my dreams come true!

Every day I ask myself a question. It is usually the same question. What am I doing?

It is then followed by a second question, What will I be when I grow up?

Just because you are older, doesn't mean you've reached your final destination.

Life changes can open doors and if you walk through them, amazing things can happen. Sometimes a change can be triggered by a sad event. Mine came from the death of my husband. I needed a new life, but I had no idea how or what to do. I just started moving forward.

Don't wait for a sad event to walk a new path. Sometimes it is just time to do something new. Reinvent yourself. Finally give in to the muse that has been haunting you for years. Courage and faith move you when your feet are slow to take steps.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. (Yes, I revert to the dog saying, because I am Writer With Dogs on many sites!) The only dogs I can't teach new tricks are the spoiled pups at my house! But, I am older, and I am learning new things by leaps and bounds!

The last three years my creative energy has exploded! I wrote my book. I self-published it. I started two more books. I launched a one-time online full color dog magazine. I became an independent publishing company, but only have my web page to show for it, "Gilbert Street Press", coming soon. I opened a small antique gift shop, with a twist, I have weekly art openings, book signings, and live music. I called it, The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques, the longest name I could think of for my tiny space. Then I opened the shop next to it as my events center, because I needed more room for all the lovely artists that started coming to my shop. Last week I opened a third building, the Old Town Lilburn Center For The Arts. In six months I have expanded my vision for this tiny hub called Old Town that I love. My smiling, sweating face, in front of my shop, was featured on the cover on Lilburn's Up Close And Personal magazine, that is mailed to every Lilburn household. I am now President of the newly formed Old Town Merchants Association.

I still have my pack of dogs, missing my old gal Foxy, but five dogs keeps me pretty well loved. I am working on my books and publishing company, will have them in place by end of year. My inspiration - I need to get those start-up expenses on my tax returns! Now there is a creative incentive.

I blog on the Lilburn Patch. com and on The Balancing Act for Lifetime TV. I still find time to play catch-up on my own blogs.

I love all I am doing. I am doing everything but making money. I tell myself time will sort this out. I have faith I am where I am supposed to be at this time of my life. I turn 63 in August, two months away, and wonder every day, What will I be when I grow up?

I don't plan to be old and broke!

I have a plan. It is an odd one. It is centered on faith. Faith that what I am doing now includes more than just my having a business and succeeding. The little downtown area I chose to open my shop in was slowly vanishing. It is two half streets of shops, a city hall, and a large city park with incredible walking trails. The restaurant had just closed as I signed my lease last December, which has had a huge impact on shopping traffic. The restaurant closed for personal reasons. It was doing a whiz bang business. It was a very sad day for Old Town and the many people who loved the restaurant and its friendly owner. Six months later it is still the talk of the town because it is missed.

The city of Lilburn is huge, full of strip malls and subdivisons, the down town, historic area, is tiny. The railroad tracks cross Main Street. When I sit in my big wing chair, covered in vintage rose fabric, I smile when I hear that train. It drowns out any chance of continuing a conversation if I am in the middle of one, but it reminds me of all the charm that surrounds me.

Everything I have worked on is now centered in Old Town. I feel this year some answers will come and the historic hub is on the verge of something good! New merchants are filling empty buildings and with them comes the enthusiam of the young.

Me? Yeah, I am older. But I am not old. I am as excited as any of the younger folks coming into the area. I hope in some way my shops will inspire artists and authors of all ages to be proud of their art form. My shops will give them a voice. My plan is to slowly find others who want to rent and take over part of my three buildings. I hated the term, it takes a village, when it first came out. Now I am saying those words and loving them. It will take a village of talented writers and artists to keep my shop and Old Town rejunivated. It is a very exciting time to look forward to what may be and not back at what has gone.

What will I be when I grow up? I hope to be asking myself that question until my last breath. The journey of discovery of what I can be, what we all can be, is the best travel plan of all. You don't need answers when you have such an inspiring question!

Widow Lesson Learned: It is never to late to discover your inner muse.

A Farewell To My Dear Foxy

2011-05-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

An Aging Dog was my post on April 11, 2011 on Lifetime Televisions' blog for The Balancing Act. My dear Foxy was the subject of that post, and how I worried about her days coming to an end. Good for Foxy, she lasted another few weeks. But on May 5th I had to make the hardest decision ever, to let Foxy leave this world for a better place. Her body was just giving out on her. My post An Aging Dog was a hopeful one, for I did not have to make that decision in April. I had the extra time to pamper Foxy and tell her how much I loved her. Five other dogs watched with envy that she got chicken in her kibble and they didn't. Five dogs, five pretty smart dogs, now know why and say, "no thanks" to chicken! I was blessed I had Foxy fifteen years. She was the dog that came to my husband and me when our big dog Boy died. She made us smile again. She is the dog that stayed by my side when my husband died. She watched Jake my other dog, leave us nine months later. Then she watched, not always so gleefully, five new rescue dogs come into our house. Five dogs who respected Foxy, because she was the leader of our pack. She was graceful, elegant, and a very good sport. I am sharing a repeat of some of her early photos when I sold on Ebay and put photos of Foxy in vintage hats on my auctions to grab that extra attention. I will always miss Foxy, as I miss my husband. Lucky for me I have five dogs that make me laugh and would not let me be sad for long.

I call myself Writer With Dogs on many blogs. A writer with six dogs, now a writer with five. I have trouble with the math when the dogs come in. I still have to count to be sure they all are there, but the total still confuses me as I know one is missing, but where all good dogs go at the end of their days.

Will I get another? My pack is pretty close and they are a united front. That is the only reason I may hold off on adding another. If I didn't have my five, you can bet I'd be out looking for a new dog in a heart beat.

Many people have said they can't go through the pain of loss again. I look at it as the joy of love, and I'll go through that on any day of the week!

To my dear Foxy, who opened her heart to take in five dogs that annoyed her most days, but loved being the center of all that attention.

A Follow-Up To My Post On Cypress Gardens and Esther Williams

2011-04-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

A Blast From The Past!

I wrote my last post about beautiful Cypress Gardens. My brother, who is the family genealogist and has all the photos, some black mail worthy, e-mailed this gentle reminder to me. There are the three of us (me, my sis Pammie and little bro, Steve) meeting with Esther Williams, at Cypress Gardens! OMG! What a photo and just how many years ago was that? Way many! Thanks, Steve, for sending this gem to me! Your loving older sis!

Vintage Postcard Takes Me Back In Time To Winter Haven, Florida

2011-03-02T21:32:00.000-08:00

I love old postcards and am always adding to my collection. This one brought back so many memories I had to share it with you!

Azalea Time at Cypress Gardens, circa 1930 - 1945, printed by Lakeland News Company.

I graduated from Winter Haven High School, we won't say just when. But I can honestly say I was not born when this card was printed! Winter Haven is the home of Cypress Gardens and I remember it well.

Cypress Gardens was Florida's first theme park. Founded in 1936 by Dick and Julie Pope, Cypress Gardens was a showcase for Central Florida and paved the way for other parks such as Disney and Universal to follow. The beautiful botanical gardens became the backdrop for beautiful belles and peaceful boat rides, as well as many movies and thousands of advertising campaigns over the years. Many stars walked its paths. To name a few: Betty Davis, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Esther Williams and Elvis.

Cypress Gardens was proclaimed the Water Ski Capitol of the World, and became the birthplace of performance water skiing in 1941. In 1962, Dick Pope turned the reins of the park over to his son, Dick Pope, Jr.

To read more about Cypress Gardens and see a water ski video click on this link!

Dogs And Decorating, partie deux

2011-02-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

Tommy Bahama in the living room!

Oh so many changes in the house! Now that I have my shop, I need to have the dogs in a spot where they will behave better! That large picture window with its continuous parade of dogs, people, and the UPS truck, drive my dogs crazy! I need them away from all that visual stimulation.

So I have done some doggie and human redecorating. My sunroom, which is my office, and never has been comfortable, although full of old Bar Harbor white wicker, has been turned into a den. I've moved my great old paint cupboard to the back wall, and made room for a Salvation Army couch (like new, $115.00) and a Last Chance Thrift Store comfy chair and ottoman (like new, for $30). Yeah, eat your heart out. I know where to shop! And you can buy some of my great finds at The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques at very reasonable prices too!

The antique wicker is going to my late husband's cousin in Bloomington, Indiana. She remembers it from the old lake house and it needs to go back to her! She and my husband had many fun times as kids in that house, surrounded by this wicker. I also needed it out of chewer Bray's teeth!

My living room sports a new chair (Salvation Army, $99.00) and a ....please let me brag.....Tommy Bahama sofa from the same Salvation Army for $360.00. That's more than this thrifty shopper likes to pay, but if you Google my sofa, it retails new for $2999.00.

Yes the dogs sleep on it too. But they spend the days in our lovely sunroom den. I like to nap in there with them, so most days when I am at home we are all cuddling in my new den.

Our evenings are spent in the living room with Tommy Bahama relaxing and watching TV. The couch is so high I had to buy a footstool for chubby Annabelle to crawl up to cuddle next to me on Tommy. No matter how much a piece is valued, it is of no value to me if we can't all snuggle on it!

It is amazing how well behaved they are away from my picture window.

Wouldn't you like to join us for a cup of coffee in my new doggie sunroom?

I can see clearly now...Chloe has a bird's eye view of yard.

Bray ready to party down, hope he won't eat quilt. He is a chewer!

Rascal finds her new spot in the sun so relaxing!

full couch

Foxy looking for a place on the floor.

Foxy likes to sleep behind the computer chair. Her old bones don't like to be jarred getting on furniture any more.

Rascal wondering if she should try to get up

All by myself....

Annabelle likes to keep the couch to herself most afternoons

I think it's time for a nap. Hey, Annabelle, better move that big butt of yours! Mine is joining you!

Dog Saves Bird - Film At 11...Following The Adventures of Ziva the dog!

2011-02-01T21:08:00.000-08:00

I have a dog photo contest running on my Writer With Dogs blog. The contest began with the launch of my online dog magazine on December lst. Well, the dog stories and photos are amazing. The contest continues until the Feb. 18th. The winner will be announced on March lst. My magazine will be in a different format, a newsletter, rather than an eflip online magazine. The spirit will be the same however. The winner of the dog contest gets a $300 check payable to their favorite dog rescue group. Anyone can enter by the way. Just send your photo to thefourhounds@gmail.com and a brief story of your dog! The winner is determined by the number of comments on each photo. The most comments is our winner!

One dog keeps popping up in my e-mails. Ziva. Her antics are charming! I've decided to post this one here and may share other Ziva stories down the road. BTW, Ziva is entry number 6 in the contest, The Golden From Maine. Check out all the dogs at Writer With Dogs!

And now, meet Ziva here! The story begins.......

I had just put more sunflower seeds in the bird feeder and returned to the kitchen to warm up. Ziva stayed out by the feeder and was watching the birds arrive by the dozens. They don't mind her sitting by the feeder. In fact, they will land all around her and pick up the seeds that fall from the feeder. One flew into the side of the feeder and fell to the snow below. Ziva went over, poked it with her nose, and then gently picked the bird up and scratched at the door to come in.

When I let her in, she ran to the sofa and placed the bird by her side and started licking it. I thought it was dead and went to get a paper towel to wrap it in. But when I came back to the room, Ziva had moved the bird to the arm of the sofa and was still licking it. I grabbed the camera as it stood up, still a bit wobbly, and then it hopped even closer to Ziva’s nose.

After a few minutes we took it outside and it flew away, much to the dismay of both of my cats, who watched this whole episode unfold.

I don't know why, but birds and other animals are not afraid of Ziva at all.

Too cool not to share these pictures.

I thought you would enjoy them.

Bruce

"ZIVA, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU... NO BIRDS ALLOWED ON THE FURNITURE!"

She growled at the cat and it is rare to hear her growl. "Leave my bird alone!"

Yes, these are photos to share! Don't you agree?

Book Signing At The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques

2011-01-31T22:56:00.000-08:00

I am really excited! My shop will have its first book signing on Saturday, Feb. 5th. Not just any book, but a Steampunk novel. For those who aren't sure what Steampunk is, check out the author's web coalcitysteam! You will get excited too. This is going to be the most fun afternoon!

Emilie P. Bush was a former host of Georgia Public Television's Georgia Gazette. This is her debut novel, "Chenda and The Airship Brofman". She was a 2010 Amazon Breathrough award finalist.

We are going to have fun, fun, fun!

I am posting here my invite to the event and then the You Tube video of her book trailer.

Have fun. Wish you were here to join me! If you are in town, you don't want to miss meeting Emilie P. Bush!

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The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques Has An Etsy Storefront Online

2011-01-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

Come shop with us on Etsy. New items added daily to our online shop, ShopOfOnesOwn!

The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques has just opened a shop on Etsy, AShopOfOnesOwn. New items will be added daily, so be sure to come by and check us out. And if you are in the Lilburn, Georgia area, stop by 94 Main Street, Lilburn, Ga. and visit The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques in the heart of Old Town!

Opening Day Scrapbook Of The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques

2011-01-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

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My Day On Kindle Nation! Review of The Unfaithful Widow

2011-01-20T07:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't talked about my book lately, with all the other news going on in my life, ie, opening my shop this week. But I am working on some great things for my book this year, have started my own publishing company, Gilbert Street Press, and am working on two new books. A few months back I joined Support Kindle Nation and today my book is reviewed! Very exciting. This review goes to 6400 Kindle newsletter subscribers!

Kindle Nation Daily Free Book Alert, Thursday, January 20: 5-Star Fiction from the Hollywood Nobody series, plus ...Think "Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking Meets Jane Juska's Round-Heeled Woman" and You've Got The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone by Barbara Barth (Today's Sponsor)

Another great 5-star entry in Lisa Samson's YA "Hollywood Nobody" series tops this morning's freshly updated presentation of our 350+ Free Book Alert listings....

But first, a word from ... Today's Sponsor

And, speaking of 5 stars, here's a new discovery for your Kindle bookshelf that's been getting nothing but 5-star reviews!

Widowed, Barbara Barth has to figure out how to get happy again. No subject is taboo in her essays, she says. "From dealing with the funeral home (Can I show you our upgraded cremation package?)... to dating again... and those questions you hate to ask (Condoms anyone?)."

"It's a book for anyone seeking entertainment and anyone who might benefit from inspiration to keep going. It's also for everyone who likes dogs and soft-core dirty talk." --Michael N. Marcus, author of Stories I'd Tell My Children

The Unfaithful Widow

Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone

by Barbara Barth

5.0 out of 5 stars 5 Reviews

Kindle Price: $2.99

Text-to-Speech: Enabled

Don't have a Kindle? Get yours here.

"Grief defeated by laughter"

"Not just for widows !!!!!!"

Here's the set-up:

Welcome To My World. Doing All Those Things I Thought I’d Never Do Again.

The Unfaithful Widow is a collection of essays and fragmented thoughts on finding joy again after the loss of a mate. A memoir of the first year alone written with warmth and laughter, no subject is taboo. From dealing with the funeral home (Can I show your our upgraded cremation package? I looked at Miss Death, was I booking a vacation?) to dating again (He ran in the door, looked at me and said “I’ve left something in my car.” He never returned). Sprinkle in a bevy of rescue dogs (Finally a good nights sleep with someone new in my bed.) and those questions you hate to ask (Condoms anyone?). A story for anyone who has suffered loss and is determined to become their own super hero.

What the Reviewers Say

This is a charming story of how one woman fought her way back from the grief of losing her husband to a new future filled with faith and happiness. As you go along on her year's journey, you will cry a little, laugh a lot as she experiences trying to date on line, and the joy that came from adopting neglected dogs to fill her life with love.

This is not just a book for widows. This is a book for anyone who has a void to fill in her life. Be prepared for surprises with every chapter that will delight you.

--Audrey Frank

In her review, Audrey Frank said, "This is a book for anyone who has a void to fill in her life." That's much too limiting. No void is necessary, and the book is not just for females. It's a book for anyone seeking entertainment and anyone who might benefit from inspiration to keep going. It's also for everyone who likes dogs and soft-core dirty talk.

Barbara Barth is a master (mistress?) storyteller, with an uncanny ability to recall or recreate dialog. She is able to pluck humor from sadness. She shows proper respect for the past without being a prisoner of the past. Barbara demonstrates impressive resilience, strength and the ability to keep looking ahead despite widowhood, bad dates, and the death of a dog. Her unwillingness to accept cliche roles dictated by age, custom or gender are important lessons for everyone.

I don't want to concentrate only on the inspirational aspects of the book, because it is a LOT OF FUN. I read the Kindle version on a bumpy train ride. I was tired and woozy. A lesser book would have made me turn off my iPad. With Barbara's book, I kept tapping to turn the electronic pages to see what happens next. The woman sitting next to me wondered what was making me laugh and she started reading along with me. I read faster than she did, and let her catch up before I turned the pages.

Although I didn't "get" the cover illustration (it's apparently a chick thing) and at times I thought I was overhearing a conversation that was meant just for women (number of bras owned, evaluating a man's butt), at other times I thought Barbara was talking directly to me. Buy the book and hear what Barbara has to say to you. You won't be disappointed.

--Michael N. Marcus, author of Stories I'd Tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults) and other books

Losing a loved one is always difficult and sometimes you need the support of others who have been through the same situation. I have not lost a husband but I have lost loved ones. The essays in this book will help you feel both the loss and provide a bit of a "pick-me-up". Rescuing animals became Barbara's coping tool that allowed her to learn to live again. This book is funny, wise and very insightful.

I think that anyone who has lost a loved one, even if you aren't a widow, you will find parts in these essays that ring true to you. I love Barbara's voice and I like that she didn't hold back.
--Bridget Hopper

You can read more at Kindle Nation. Click here!

Top Ten Pet Friendly Vehicles By Guest Writer, Julee Russo

2011-01-16T23:22:00.000-08:00

Continuing tonight with our friend, and guest blogger, Julee Russo in her series of dog posts. Tonight Julee tells us how cars can make your fido feel secure and comfy! Click on the links to view the cars not pictured!

Top 10 Pet Friendly Vehicles

I get tired of watching my pet teeter totter in my car seat while attempting to balance in positions that look so uncomfortable. Space, safety features and cost are all important considerations to make when buying a new car. However, if you have a pet, you probably also want a car that all of you can share in peace. While the primary function of a car is to transport you and your things quickly and efficiently, your precious cargo deserves the safety and comfort offered by some of the best cars on the market.

Keep this in mind as you begin you search: Not all cars are created equal. The fastest cars are often the least practical, and the most spacious cars are the least fuel-efficient. When it comes to pets, you want something that has the best of all worlds.

The following list details 10 different cars that will satisfy pet and parent alike, and leave enough breathing room for everyone.

1. Starting at around $20,000, though expect to spend a few bucks more if you want some of the dog-friendly features, the Honda Element is the perfect machine for human and animal. It’s large, boxy interior leaves plenty of room and accessibility for everyone.

2. Ever a utility vehicle, the Jeep Commander (starting at around $33,000) isn’t cheap, but it’s sturdy and will last you years. With plenty of interior room, this machine is ideal for big dogs and boutique parents.

3. Though it looks like a European delivery car, the $19,000 Ford Transit Connect, is the dog-mobile for the pragmatic pet-owners. The interior is spacious, and with its side sliding doors and rear gate, accessibility is a breeze.

4. The $25,000 Subaru Forester is another not-quite-SUV/not-quite-coupe car that is perfect for dog owners with pets who like their own space. A well-equipped Forester can get up to 31mpg.

5. The urbane cosmopolite with a small or medium-sized dog will delight in the $25,000 Mazda3 Grand Touring hatchback. This is a compact-style car with plenty of space for the dog, the driver, and everyone else.

6. Minivans aren’t always the most head-turning vehicles, but they do what they need to do, and the $22,000 Kia Sedona is no exception. It’s big, it’s easily accessible, and leaves plenty of room for everyone.

7. Known best for its innovative shape, the Scion xB is a smaller and more affordable version of the Element. Costing no more than around $17,000 and getting 28mpg on the highway, the Scion is perfect for the pet owner on a budget.

8. Another car for the progressive city-dweller, the Smart ForTwo is cheap (around $11,000), small, and extremely fuel-efficient. It’s extremely compact, but for small dogs, it’s perfect. Smart has plans for a four-door in the near future.

9. A consistent maker of quality cars, Volvo is a winner with pet-owners with its XC60. Starting at around $33,000, it’s not the cheapest car on the list, but it’s spacious, sleek, and European-made.

10. Rounding out the list is the $26,000 Chrysler Town and Country, a minivan with luxury sensibility. Your pet will appreciate all of the leg-room.

When buying a new car don’t forget to take all of the technical and financial considerations (including auto insurance), it’s important to remember what everyone else wants. What are some other things you and your pet might appreciate in a new car?

*******************************

Thanks Julee! I want a new car after looking at all these beauties. I am a Honda gal myself and my crew loves that Element! But that darling Smart Car, with its most important message, tugs at me too. In fact, I'd love to own any of these cars. With six dogs I need some room!

Look for more posts from Julee soon!

Opening My Shop In Old Town, Lilburn, Georgia, Sat. Jan 22nd!

2011-01-14T19:56:00.000-08:00

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Click on the arrow and see how much fun we will have on Jan. 22nd. You will also hear Huey Lewis sing The Power Of Love! Which is a perfect theme for the shop - it is about the power of love!

Events on Saturday include:

Special sale to benefit Friends of DeKalb Animals from 11 to 5pm.

Kick-off of 30 day photography exhibit of Haiti after the earthquake, by metro Atlanta writer and photographer, Cheryl Lewis. Read her story on Skirt of visiting Haiti and the missing boy she is trying to locate.

Music by Larry Joe Hall noon to 3pm.

Keep up on shop news on The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques blog.

Spoiled Dog Party! Guest Blogger Julee Russo

2011-01-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

Second in a series of blog posts by the talented and dog loving writer, Julee Russo. You can read her December 20th post here.

Happy Birthday Doggie!

photo from http://bloggydoggies.com/top-3-doggy-cake-recipes/

Spoiled Dog Party

Spoiled! We are talking menu, décor, activities, party favors, heck even a doggy piñata! Planning a birthday party for your dog? You can go all out and invite the whole neighborhood to celebrate the birth of your favorite companion. There are several items you’ll want to include in your dog party, so make a list and have fun. If you plan your party well in advance, you’ll have time to put together a menu, buy all your decorations and other supplies, and even buy a dog-bone piñata. Here’s everything you’ll need to put together a wonderful birthday party for your favorite pal.

Plan the Menu

A spoiled dog party needs to have a lot of delicious treats. Your menu needs to include dog-safe food, such as prepackaged dog treats and homemade goodies with ingredients that are safe for them to eat. Make sure you use fresh ingredients and cook the treats thoroughly. Some ideas for homemade treats include the following:

· Chicken liver treats

· Peanut Butter & Oat Balls

· Pet Party Mix

You can bake a large Doggy Cake, or you can make individual cupcakes for all the four-legged guests so there’s no fighting over one large cake. There are several recipes available on the Internet for different flavored cupcakes. The one ingredient you want to make sure you absolutely do not use is chocolate. It is very dangerous for dogs and could kill them in certain quantities. Do your research before selecting your own ingredients (grapes and walnuts are toxic as well).

Decorations and Supplies

You’ll want to decorate your backyard for your dog’s party just as you would for a child’s birthday party. Hang streamers and balloons, a large banner, wall decor, and a tablecloth to match your party’s theme. Pick up plenty of durable paper plates to serve the food on. Make favor-boxes with dog treats, small toys, collars, and other items perfect for the birthday dog’s friends. If kids are coming too, you can make party favors for them. Buy matching invitations to send to all the neighborhood dogs and their companions. For an extra treat, pick up a special pet costume for the guest of honor.

Buy a Dog-Bone Pinata

Whether it’s the dogs or the kids, everyone will have fun hitting a piñata and dumping the treats that are inside. Some companies sell dog themed piñatas. You could actually purchase 2, one that you will fill with dog treats and the other with candy. For the dogs, you should hang it low enough so that the dogs at the party can take turns giving it a good wack of the paw until it opens and they can eat what’s inside. Just make sure you are always supervising, and if there is any chance the dogs can get possessive with the treats, spread the dogs out and give them each a handful. The second candy filled piñata would be for the kids at heart.

Your dog’s birthday party can be a fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Plan some other activities, such as digging up buried bones or chasing a ball. Have a costume party and judge who has the best one. You can use large rawhide bones or toys for prizes. Be creative and have fun.

Photo With Santa!

2010-12-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

My friend Peggy at PetSmart in Buckhead where Snap-2IT was taking photos with Santa. Peggy is very special as she has a non-profit shelter for dogs in Monticello, Georgia, Atlanta Canine Adoption Project.

My last two dogs came from Peggy on New Year's Eve and the following week.

Silly Rascal was my New Year's Date. Peggy delivered her to my doorstep on New Year's Eve Day. Then a week later I adopted Miss April In Paris. The two gals love to kiss on each other since they have been able to stay together!

Merry Christmas Peggy! Keep up the good work! Just remember, my house is full.

I think I'll forward this link to her now! A snuggly dog makes a great date for New Year's Eve. I always say better to kiss a dog than a dog of a date!

Feeding your Pet Like a Human = Risk of Poisoning by Guest Blogger Julee Russo

2010-12-20T22:57:00.000-08:00

But Mommy, that food looks so good. Slurp! I'd like a tasty sample. WRONG!

A perfect article at Christmas time when we tend to overlook our usual dog feeding habits.

Bella: Follow Her And Julee Russo on Twitter at jbarkrusso!

Our quest blogger tonight is Julee Russo, who I met through my friend Eliza, publisher of the SilverAndGrace Newsletter for women, in Canada!

Julee's short bio gets right to the chase. A gal after my own heart! Julee writes, A dog lover who focuses on living life and savoring every moment without messing up the next :)

Let's see what dangers are lurking around tempting our furry friends:

In Julee's words:

As pet owners we all love our pets. We dress them up in cute outfits, name them after our favorite celebrity or TV character and even treat them as if they were our own children. It’s inevitable that people get attached to their animal and treat it as if it’s part of the family. This means feeding your pet human food, many foods are healthy for our pets (cottage cheese/yogurt) but Pet poisoning is a serious risk without the right knowledge.

Here are some human foods that are bad for your furry friends.

1. Chocolate and Caffeine
While we all love a nice cup of coffee or some amazing chocolate, it’s actually dangerous for pets. Eating too much of this can be toxic, causing your pet to vomit, have diarrhea, start panting and experience intense thirst. Dark chocolate is actually worse for your pet than milk chocolate. But it’s best to stay away from chocolate and caffeine altogether.

2. Alcohol
It should be a given not to give animals alcohol. But be aware that there are quite a bit of foods that contain alcohol. If your pet consumes this, it will experience some vomiting, diarrhea, trouble breathing and can slip into a coma or even die.

3. Macadamia Nuts & Walnuts
These nuts can be found in stores, salads, cookies, and candies. These nuts are considered to be pretty harmful to your pets. The nuts can make your dog weak, can cause vomiting and possibly tremors and hypothermia.

4. Grapes
The exact ingredient that’s bad for your animal is unknown. It is a fact, though, that grapes can cause kidney failure in animals.

5. Raw Meat and Eggs
Salmonella and E. coli can be found in raw meat and eggs. This is very harmful to your pets. Eating raw eggs causes your pet’s skin and coat to have multiple issues. On top of these items, raw bones can be really dangerous for your pet if swallowed. Bone consumption can cause him or her to die or have severe injuries if it damages the bone splinter or gets stuck in the digestive tract.

6. Xylitol
Xylitol is mostly found in gum, toothpaste and candy. Too much consumption can cause your pet to experience live failure from the amount of insulin in Xylitol. Having too much insulin can cause your pet to have low sugar levels, resulting in seizures.

7. Onions and Garlic
Garlic isn’t just bad for vampires--it’s also bad for your pets. Garlic and onions are more dangerous for dogs than cats, if your animal eats a lot of it. Having small amounts won’t be too toxic for your pet, but don’t give them significant portions.

8. Salt
If your pet eats too much salt, they can experience a lot of thirst and urination. The sodium ion can even be poisonous for your pets. If your pet begins to vomit, have diarrhea, seizures or tremors, your pet may have had too much salt. It’s important to take them to a vet because ignoring it could lead to death.

While it’s always fun to dress pets in clothes and treat them as part of the family, it’s important to keep something in mind. They’re animals. Animals might be able to wear clothing like humans, but they can’t eat all our foods.

Thanks Julee for some great information so we can keep our loved pets safe this holiday! Look for more infor from Julee in our future issues.

An Award From Psychology Degree Online Schools

2010-12-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

Dogs Are The Sunshine Of My Life

I went through my e-mails deleting old messages and realized I had missed this particular one. My blog was awarded a badge as an essential resource for widows by Psychology Degree, an online web that helps people decide on careers in psychology. I was added to their list of blogs for widows/widowers.

I then came back and looked at my blog and had to smile. So many dog faces staring back at me! But then love is a great healing tool and dogs give unconditional love. I have that times six with my silly pack of hounds.

I do have an odd little blog on being a widow. But I think that my love of dogs, my heart open to life around me and my faith to move forward is certainly sprawled all over these posts. The same energy can be found in my book, The Unfaithful Widow! You can check it out on my web http://www.barbarabarth.net/.

Thank you, Psychology Degree for including me. Maybe someone will link to my blog that needs a warm hug and a sweet kiss and will be inspired to go to their local shelter to adopt a dog. As much as we are lost when a loved one is gone, there are lost dogs that can help mend a broken heart.

I am honored to be included in your list! Thank you!

My First Attempt At Making A YouTube Video With My New Flip Camera

2010-12-18T13:03:00.000-08:00

It's raining cats and dogs and the dogs are nestled in their quilts. I just opened my new flip camera and did a test run with my dogs. They were totally unimpressed. When I get this down to a science get ready for some dog stars to emerge!

The Rich Rewards Of Fostering Dogs, Patti Foy, Part 2 of 2

2010-12-03T22:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight we finish our discussion with Patti Foy on how to foster a dog. (Part one can be seen right below this post). Patti's information on fostering a dog is great.

I am not sure how many people think of going this route, but it is a wonderful way to help a dog in need, while you open your heart to the love of an animal who will have a real life again because of you.)

Thanks Patti for the time you took to share this information with all of us! Barbara

The Least You Need to Know

There's a lot of skill and knowledge you can develop as you gain experience with fostering, and that will come with time. But really it's pretty straight-forward. At the very least, here's what I suggest:

You are agreeing to provide a safe environment with food, shelter, exercise, and some amount of socializing, so make sure you can do that. It's important that you and your family are all in agreement on this.

Mostly though? They just need lots of love.

It's not required but it does help if you already have some experience with dogs.

Also, an eagerness to learn more about them and how to work with them is a big plus. This makes it a much richer experience for everyone involved.

The shelter will help you find a good fit between your situation and the right dog.

There are lots of things to consider when making a match, but for example, you don't want a puppy if you can't be up during the night sometimes. You don't want a dog that intimidates you or is known to be unpredictable if you are not an experienced dog handler. Use your common sense to make sure you are not putting yourself or your family -- or the dog, for that matter -- in harm's way.

Note that some shelters provide more assistance and training than others.

The reality is, most rescue groups and many shelters are run by volunteers. They are overworked and not always as organized as they would like. You may or may not get much help from them about what to expect or how to handle tricky situations. This isn't ideal, but it's sometimes the reality.

Still, they are your first resource and if nothing else they can help you get answers and guidance.

If You Want to Know More

Information's pretty easy to come by nowadays with the internet so accessible. Here are a few of the better websites I found that provide great information if you want to look into being a foster parent.

Informative article on what's required, what to expect, and how to find a dog to foster. Includes videos!

http://dogs.thefuntimesguide.com/2010/10/dog_foster.php

How to successfully foster dogs and puppies - This is a helpful article about some of the details, with 5 links to similar articles at the bottom.

http://www.helium.com/items/908808-how-to-successfully-foster-dogs-and-puppies

Short article with some good tips about finding a rescue group or shelter to foster for, preparing to foster, and then working with that organization.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4525684_guardian-animals-dogs-cats-pets.html

Comprehensive Foster Dog Manual (PDF) from the Seattle Animal Shelter. 49 excellent pages. It's specific to the Seattle shelter but most of it can be applied anywhere.

http://www.aspcapro.org/mydocuments/seattle-animal-shelter-foster-1.pdf

And don't forget to ask your local shelter for information too. The bigger ones, especially, can be a wealth of information.

Begin Where You Are

So as you see, there's actually a lot you can know about fostering, but the good news is you don't have to know it all to begin.

Fostering is a lot like life in that it's a process of discovery. You may be more talented at helping dogs than you imagine, even if you have no experience. Just as with anything, we start with small steps and learn as we go.

If you have even an inkling you might like to do this, there's no reason at all not to proceed and see if you can find a good match. And if you are able to give it a try, I just know you'll be glad you did.

If you have any fostering stories, we'd all love to hear them. Or do you have questions? Tips or pointers? Please do share!

BIO: Patti Foy is a blogger at http://www.lightspiritedbeing.com/ where she writes about discovering our true selves and shining our light, along with offering her services that can help us do that. She lives a simple, natural life in the high desert of New Mexico with her husband and two dogs, where she enjoys writing and being connected to nature and animals.

On a personal note; my favorite rescue is Animal Action Rescue Atlanta, they have a great selection of dogs and are always looking for foster 'moms".

http://www.animalactionrescue.org/

Fostering may be just the anwer you've been looking for. Do a great dead, give a great dog a home!

The Rich Rewards of Fostering Dogs: Patti Foy Part 1 of 2

2010-12-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

Part 1 of 2: Come back tomorrow and visit with Patti!

Patti Foy, Author

Patti Foy is a blogger at Light Spirited Being where she writes about discovering our true selves and shining our light, along with offering her services that can help us do that. She lives a simple, natural life in the high desert of New Mexico with her husband and two dogs, where she enjoys writing and being connected to nature and animals.

I asked Patti to talk about fostering dogs. I am a keeper type, if a dog comes in my house it stays. But fostering dogs is a wonderful way to share your love and help a dog find its forever home. Read below and see if fostering might be just the ticket for you! Barbara

The Rich Rewards Of Fostering Dogs (Part 1 of 2)

Are you aware that just around the corner from you are a zillion little opportunities to enrich your life? Okay, maybe not a zillion. But however many dogs are in your neighborhood shelter? That many.

My life, for one, has been deeply enriched by the wonderful experience of fostering rescue dogs.

Seven years ago, we unexpectedly lost our 6-year old lab to cancer. We were all so sad, our remaining dog included. My husband and I knew we would want another dog at some point, yet we weren't ready to even consider adopting so soon. Our pain was still raw and we needed more time.

I was almost sick with grief, and as it turned out, fostering proved to be a most potent medicine. It gave me a deep sense of purposefulness along with spontaneous bursts of joy and laughter, which I needed then, almost as much as I needed air. And although it did have its challenges, I'm positive it played a significant role in my ultimate healing.

I'd been involved with a local rescue group, which I had helped found, and as luck would have it, they called one day to see if we might be able to foster a pup for them. We'd never fostered before and weren't so sure how it would work out, but after some thought, we decided to give it a try.

Kelsey, our first foster

And from that point on, we were hooked.

We spent that whole next year fostering dogs, about 10 in all. One of them was one we found ourselves, abandoned and terrified. (We live in a remote rural area where people from the city bring dogs to dump them.) She was a young black and white pointer with pink markings around her nose, whom we called Rosie. She was the sweetest thing, and so exhausted that first day that she kept falling asleep even while standing up.

Rosie

The only reason we stopped fostering is because we finally adopted another dog (a 4-year old lab mix, from the shelter) and no longer had the extra space to do a foster dog justice.

But I often think that when the powers that be are smiling upon me just right, I will be blessed enough to get to foster again.

The Rewards of Fostering

It was my experience that the entire fostering process was rewarding and the dogs themselves were such a joy. Here are just a few of the rewards you can expect:

You're likely saving the dog's life. This is extremely satisfying.

If dogs aren't socialized and able to fit seamlessly into a family, they just don't get adopted (or they get returned to the shelter) and are too commonly euthenized. You provide that priceless TLC that helps them adapt to a new home.

You get to help that dog be happy for awhile.

Most of the dogs in shelters are traumatized. Any bits of love you have to spare are not only appreciated but returned ten-fold.

You get to experience that dog's unique personality.

This is just plain fun. They're such characters and enormously uplifting.

Your heart will be opened.

It just happens -- guaranteed. And when you have an open heart, you can love more deeply and more fully. And not just the dog, but everyone and anyone in your life, even yourself. It helps your natural kindness and compassion blossom, and it feels wonderful!

It's healing, for you and the dog.

I think the benefits to the dog go without saying. But like with me, if you or a family member have been through something that's left you broken, the fostering experience can go a long way toward helping you feel whole again.

You are helping train the dog and that helps in its placement.

Even though a lot of training is straightforward, the dog has a much better chance of being adopted and to a wider range of adopters if it's already trained at least in the basics such as being house-broken, staying put through the night, not pulling on the leash, etc.

You get to know the dog and your input helps in finding a matching home.

Knowing what the dog's capable of as well as its personality is a surprisingly big help in matching it to the right owner(s) and helping guarantee they will keep it.

You get to see the dog go to a permanent home.

It may take a little while but invariably that dog will get adopted. It's a red letter day and you will barely be able to keep your feet on the ground. A happy day, all around.

It's temporary.

Unlike adopting, it doesn't require a 10-25 year long commitment. It's usually anywhere from a week to a few months, sometimes longer. And then if you want another, there's no shortage.

The Challenges of Fostering

I personally think the rewards far outweigh the challenges, but it helps to know ahead of time that it's not a complete cake-walk. Here are a few things to be aware of.

You need to make a commitment and work through issues.
These dogs need as little disruption as possible, so you want to foster one you know you can keep until it's placed. Work with the shelter to find a good match for you.

It can be disruptive and time-consuming.
Even at its best, fostering's going to make a few waves in your typical daily schedule. It's very satisfying but it does require some adjustment.

Sometimes foster dogs need to be taken to the vet, and they almost always need training of some sort. Even when the dog is healthy, well-behaved, and non-demanding, you'll still want to spend quite a bit of time with them.

There's a chance that some of your things may get damaged.
Usually dogs learn amazingly quickly and you'll both benefit by whatever training you can provide. In the meantime, though, it's common for something or another to get damaged. Chewed hoses, dug up flower beds, pee'd upon carpets.

In most of my cases, there was none of this, but it's always best to expect it might happen.

There may be issues between/among "family members".
You do what you can up-front to make sure everyone will get along (people and other pets included) but every now and then there's a surprise. This is why everyone needs to be on board ahead of time. Be prepared to get creative.

It's temporary.
This is listed under the positives too, but it's a double-edged sword. Letting go can sometimes be hard. Still, it's a bittersweet sorrow, and so worth it.

Come back tomorrow eve for Part 2 of Patti's article!

Doughnuts For Thanksgiving? Krispy Kreme In Atlanta.

2010-11-22T23:32:00.000-08:00

An early 1900's postcard with a girl eating doughnuts for Thanksgiving. Do you suppose they were Krispy Kremes?

I came across this old postcard tonight and had a laugh. Who puts doughnuts on Thanksgiving cards? What was on the mind of this artist so many years ago? But looking at that plate of doughnuts put something on my mind alrighty. Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

A little doughnut history.

The founder, Vernon Rudolph, worked for his uncle who purchased a secret recipe for yeast-raised doughnuts with a glazed coating, and a shop on Broad Street in Paducah, Kentucky, from Joseph LeBeouf of Lake Charles, Louisiana. Rudolph began selling yeast doughtnuts in Paducah and delviered them on his bike. The other family members joined in to meet the customer demand when the operations was moved to Nashville, Tennessee. The first store in the nation with the Krispy Kreme name opened on Charlotte Pike in 1933.

A visit to the Krispy Kreme web is a mouth watering treat.

In Atlanta, visit Krispy Kreme at 295 Ponce De Leon Ave NE. When their "Hot Doughnuts" sign is lit - stop and pull in for a box of mouth watering glazed delights that melt in your mouth. One is never enough, two is good, three is better, and then who can stop?

I think I'll skip the pumpkin pie this year. I'm thinking Krispy Kreme, thanks to a post card of a lady eating doughnuts, on a Thanksgiving so long ago.

Wishing You A Thanksgiving That Is Warm And Full Of Love.

Widow Lesson Learned: When eating doughnuts it is sometimes best to do it alone. It is hard to explain how a dozen disappeared so quickly.

Meet Hank - And Welcome Guest Blogger Beverly Olsen

2010-11-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

Beverly and friend

Beverly Olsen is a writer on Skirt's online magazine and a volunteer at a no-kill shelter, Our Pal's Place, in Marietta, Georgia. I've borrowed her post from Skirt and reprinted it here.

Hank, a grand old dog that could use a home, speaks in her post. Beware there is talk about putting dogs down, but good news on changes in the law.

My name is Hank. I’m an overweight, middle-aged guy; but, the ladies say I have soulful eyes. I want to tell you about my current home. The house I live in at the moment is an old ranch that’s not in the best shape. I don’t mind, though because my space is under a great air conditioner and I have a comfortable bed. I get fed twice a day and get to go outside four times a day. It’s a pretty good set-up. The people who care for me are great! They really care about me and the others who live here. Our medical needs are taken care of and we are well fed. This place is meant to be a way- station, a layover, on the way to a new life for each of us.

The director of the facility where I live gives her heart and soul to this place everyday. It’s something called a 501-3C, which means that none of the great volunteers that work here make any money. They care for us because they love us. The director is the kindest, hardest working woman that I have ever known. She literally saved my life more than once! She saves multiple lives every month.

I asked a friend of mine to write this for me. Times have been tough this year since all the home foreclosures and we are busting at the seams here at Our Pal’s Place. The house is an old 1950’s ranch that could really use an “extreme home makeover.” It needs new plumbing, wiring and HVAC (whatever that is-my benefactor told me to put that in here). Last year there was a plumbing leak that got alot of the support beams wet and pretty well rusted out the central A/C. We stay cool with small window air conditioners. They are duct taped into the old windows which themselves are falling apart.

Now I’m not complaining because if I wasn’t here, I would be dead. That’s right DRT (Dead Right There). I would have met my fate with the gas chamber about 3 years ago. I know what you’re thinking, “What gas chambers? The United States doesn’t use gas chambers for execution. That was the Nazis in Germany.”

Well, guess what my kind have been murdered in your state for years in this brutal fashion. This year something wonderful happened. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue has announced that he has signed HB 788 into law! This means by January 1, 2011, no county or city in the state can use carbon monoxide gas chambers to kill shelter animals.

Yep, I’m a dog or canine citizen as I prefer to be called. Here’s my latest photo!

Hank

I want to personally invite you to come visit me. I won’t lie, I am asking for your help. My dream is to raise enough money to build a new facility, so that we can save even more lives and expand our education program. We are in a great location and have enough land to expand. We need someone who has the financial resources to donate or to help in a major fundraising effort. If my little story has sparked your interest, please contact my human friend Beverly Olsen at beverlyo@bellsouth.net.

Thanks, Hank

visit

Saturday Night Rumble!

2010-11-06T23:14:00.000-07:00

SmackDown Superstars!

Are you ready?

How can we rumble? Everyone but me is sleeping.

Psst. I've got an idea.

The crowd starts to liven up

Well, a smackdown of sorts

Widow Lesson Learned: Sometimes your Saturday nights are quieter than expected. But it's always a party with a pack of dogs a snuggling.

Who has the popcorn?

Happy Halloween On The Romantic Side

2010-10-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Sharing with you some vintage early 1900's Halloween postcards. I love the idea that you can look in the mirror and see your true love!

He Is Your Fate

Who's Face You've Seen

In The Mirror's Face

On Halloween

Happy Halloween!

Widow Lesson Learned: I think it was easier to find a man in the mirror in Victorian times than it is to find one online today.

Book Review "I'll Always Love You"

2010-10-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

During an interview when I was on tour with WOW, Women On Writing, I was asked what book influenced me most as a child. Well, my mind went blank, a senior moment perhaps.( Dear Heavens, am I really using that phrase?). I don't remember books from my childhood, but I do remember a childrens' book from my adult life that I love to this day!

"I'll Always Love You" by Hans Wilhelm. This charming, sweet book was published in 1988, by Dragonfly books, and can be purchased on Amazon online.

The story is a simple one. Elfie, a dachshund, and her young boy progress happily through life together. As a young pup, Elfie is full of pep and pranks; but as her master grows taller and taller, Elfie grows fatter and slower. One morning Elfie does not wake up. The family grieves and buries her, and the boy refuses a new puppy. He is not yet ready for another pet; but when he is, he will tell that one, as he told Elsie every night, "I'll always love you." (Amazon review).

The naive watercolor illustrations add to the feel of this dear book. It is one of the best books I have read on dealing with the loss of a pet and the lesson learned is one, that as adults, is a good one to remember. Tell those you love that you love them every day.

Written for ages four to eight, it is a book that every adult, who has ever loved and lost a pet, will treasure.

I tell my dogs every day I love them. I tell that to my friends and family too. It amazes me that a book written for a small child can have so much impact on my life as an adult!

A perfect little holiday gift to show those you love, that you love them!

I have to add my own two cents worth here. When your pet leaves you, remember there are dogs that are grieveing for a forever home. Don't wait before you find another true love. We can't replace those dogs we love, but we can love a dog that is lost and needs love. There is no better feeling than to open our hearts to animals in need.

Check with my favorite rescue group, Animal Action Rescue, to see dogs that need your love.

Widow Lesson Learned: Sometimes a childens' book can point an adult in the right direction on how to deal with life. 'I'll always love you,' Foxy, Bray, Annabelle, Chloe, Rascal, Bray, and mother, and all my dear friends.

When A Dog Has More Style Than You, Or Finding Your Inner Beauty

2010-10-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

Miss April In Paris, A Vision Of Style

That is Miss April In Paris. My rescue dog turned Diva. She has her own blog where she talks about visiting the city of lights. She has been a lazy Diva these last months and her diary has fallen behind, although her dreams are still large.

She looks better in hats than I do.

How sad is that?

Perhaps it is even sadder she wears a hat and I don't.

I am uncomfortable with anything sitting on my head. Yet, when April had this lovely, vintage, pink, rose chapeau placed on her head for a round of dog photos I was doing at Easter, she transformed from the shy dog that fell on her side to the ground, cowering, as I walked into the room, to a Diva. She was the latest rescue dog to come to my house. Number six. She had been here only a few months and had not found her place in the pack yet.

Suddenly wearing that hat, she had attitude. April did not seem a fitting enough name for her now. April was her name from the shelter. A fine name, but now plain for this Diva.

I looked at her and smiled. I put my hands on her face, bent down to kiss her nose and whispered into her ear, "I shall call you Miss April In Paris because you are so lovely."

She has transformed from a shy, panic stricken dog, to a dog full of confidence. She holds her own with the pack now. On any given day she comes up to kiss me right on the mouth. A bold move for a dog that was so timid.

I am amazed. The placement of that hat done without thought on my part, made such a difference for a shy dog.

Am I being silly? Maybe. Perhaps. But it is a true story.

Sometimes the smallest gesture can bring out inner beauty. If a dog's attitude can change with the placement of a vintage hat, during that moment something out of the normal is done, what do you think something out of the normal will do for you?

I like to open up to the possibilites of what if, even if they are silly and make you laugh. A big smile brings out more beauty than any other thing you can wear!

Originally posted on Skirt.com September 25, 2010, a few minor changes here.

When A Man Loves A Woman - A Favorite Percy Sledge Song

2010-10-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

In this case it's more like when your male dog loves a doll! I came across these old photos of my late dog Jake, that ninety-five pound dog that showed up in my yard and ruled my life for twelve years. He passed away in April 2009 and started me on my hunt for rescue dogs to fill my heart. His was a good death. I did not have to make the choice to put him down. Although he had no use of his hind legs for months following the death of my husband, he had a spirit that loved every moment he was here. Even when he couldn't walk and I lifted him with a rear end sling he was smiling. He loved the attention and he loved food. Love and food, two good reasons to smile. And this dog could smile. He left me when he was ready. You can read about Jake in my book, The Unfaithful Widow!

Selling on Ebay for years, both my dogs, Foxy and Jake, were used to being photographed for my bio page (ME page) on Ebay. I slipped a little vintage handmade Raggedy Ann doll by Jake one day, and I think they fell in love.

Back in 1988 I started a newsletter, RAGS, on collecting Raggedy Ann dolls. Owned and published it for thirteen years. I sold it to a newspaper owner in Arcola, the birthplace of Johnny Gruelle, the creator of Raggedy Ann and Andy. It is now called Rags Magazine and if you love Raggedy Ann click here and check it out.

These photos brought back so many memories. Made me think of that old song by Percy Sledge and I am humming it as I post, but I think I'm singing when a dog loves a doll.

Old Jake sure loved this doll.

Widow Lesson Learned: Love knows no boundaries!

Dreams Can Come True

2010-10-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

I've always dreamed about owning a Harlequin Great Dane. Lucky for me that dream did not come true. But, even better, I have six wonderful dogs. I wonder if I added up all their weights if they would total what a Great Dane weighs? Never mind, I can't count that high on my fingers.

This month finds me following my writing dreams. I am working on my new book: Covered In Fur: Life With Dogs and I am going to start an online magazine on dogs. Pretty outrageous for the gal who doesn't know how to do a print ready PDF. But I have some great helpers!

Trying to find a new Print On Demand Company made me a little crazy. I wanted to try something new for my dog book, something a little easier and lots of fun. I found CreateSpace, an Amazon Company. I have already started the process and am working hard on the book of my dreams. You know how much I love dogs and this book will be a great gift item and a tool for helping my favorite animal rescue groups. I am wagging my tail doing something this fun.

While checking on how to get my book in the works I found a great company ePaperFlip that converts your PDF to an online magazine where you flip pages. I hope to have my magazine online and ready to read, hmm, flip through, by December lst. I'll keep you posted on this one. A big challenge for the technically challenged.

I like to dream big. The worst that can happen is that I learn something new. My brain spins at night thinking of things I want to create. It does leave me tired in the mornings, but then I have the dogs to get me out of bed!

Pay attention to your dreams - God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Sleep tight! Tomorrow is another day for something great to happen!

Widow Lesson Learned: It is better to dream of great things and work hard to see what happens then to sit on your butt and eat potato chips. However, I have found that eating chips while you sit and dream is totally acceptable.

Dancing Merengue Dog! Move Over Usher, I'm In Love

2010-09-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought Usher had all the moves I like in dancing, a book publishing/writer friend, Michael Marcus (his blog Book Making) sent me this YouTube video on the Dancing Merengue Dog. If you haven't seen it yet, you gotta watch this. ( Direct Link to it in case you want to share with your friends!). Or watch it below.

I love this dog, but I love a man who can teach a dog to dance like this. Where are you, Oh So Mr. Right? (I'm stealing that phrase from my friend Eliza from Silver & Grace who uses that one for her man!)

The most enchanting few moments you'll watch. I can never go back to Dancing With The Stars, not when I've seen the Dancing Merengue Dog!

Widow Lesson Learned: OMG, Dancing Merengue Dog. Never to late to teach an old dog new tricks. I'm putting on my dancing shoes!

Happy As A Bird With A French Fry

2010-09-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Had a shopping moment. I've been working hard on marketing my book and suddenly I decided I wanted something different for the day. Something to make me happy, happier than I was, since working on my book keeps me feeling groovy (oh, am I showing my age with that word?)For me, that is either adopting dogs or buying turquoise jewelry. The house is full of dogs (yes, all my friends and family say amen to that) but I still have some room in my jewelry box. I went to a favorite website Etsy to look for my old stand by, vintage turquoise bracelets.

As I was browsing the shops, I came across this little poster and loved it. How can you not smile reading it and how can you not want to be that happy little bird?

That little poster haulted my searching for turquoise, just for the moment. I contacted Shelli of Studio Mela on Etsy and asked if I could share her work with you. All her limited edition posters are so awe inspiring. Simple little sayings for a sweetly charmed life. Go check out her shop on Etsy and then check out her web page Lovely Little Life. This is a gal after my own heart. Living life in positivity (a Shelli quote). Shelli lives her lovely life in Lake Minnetonka, Minnesota.

I know what makes me happy, but I am throwing that question out to you. What makes you as happy as a bird with a french fry?

Widow Lesson Learned: (But I knew this one already) It is the simple things in life that make life worthwhile. A little birdie told me this.

How Many Bras Does It Take To Make You Secure?

2010-09-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

Recently the topic of bras has come up in my conversations. Two events prompted this.

First, my book. The story about my rescue dog stealing my only bra raised eyebrows. What, only one bra? Sadly, I had to admit it was true. At the time I only owned one. And my dog grabbed it as I was trying to dress for work. I did snatch it out of Bray's loving mouth, shook it out, then slipped it on. I was late for work and my excuse that my dog stole my bra did not impress my boss at the gift shop. However, it did make her snort.

A very reserved friend of mine finally read my book and I was worried what she might think about my dating stories. We knew each other well from the antique world, but she was not privy to my private life. And there in my book was everything I had done in the year following my husband's death.

She called me after she finished it. "I loved it. Just one thing shocked me."

I hunkered down worried what had stood out the most to surprise her. "I almost hate to ask, what?"

"I can't believe you only own one bra!"

I laughed and then decided it was time to go shopping for another bra, maybe two.

Remember, I am the gal that shops at thrift stores, so an adventure to the mall was not my style. But I needed a plan of action. I called a good friend. "Want to go with me to find some bras?"

"I am so relieved you are buying a new bra." She did sound relieved. "I was afraid you were going to shop at the thrift store for one."

I spent $93 that day on two bras. It broke my heart. I wanted to wear the pretty lace one on the outside of my $4.49 designer blouse from The Last Chance Thrift Shop that I had bought the week before. Sad to spend more money on my undergarments than the smokin' hot top I got for nothing.

I thought I had the bra issue under control. I actually walked around straighter with my chest puffed out a bit. A crew from the county was trimming tree limbs in front of my house. I stood tall and sashayed down the driveway to pick up my mail and turned to eye a handsome male perched high in the truck.

"Morning." I smiled at him. I threw my shoulders back and proceeded to walk back up towards the house.

I heard a large limb crash to the ground and knew my bra was worth every dollar I'd paid for it. And to think, I still have another in my dresser.

The second time? If only I had my mind on walking on June 29th when I dashed into my kitchen and slid on the floor, dislocating my shoulder and tearing my rotator cuff. Suddenly the world of bras had a different meaning to me. I didn't feel sassy, I was desperate. How was I going to get on a bra wearing a sling?

So began my journey to find a front closure bra. Back to the mall where I only found one. It was made to hold up a battleship. Never saw so many clasps.I would have passed out trying to fasten them all. It was huge! I may have been in a sling, but I wanted my sexy back.

Next, I went online and found a front closure bra I could live with, maybe. Not so sexy, but I was sure it would be easier work with. I missed the boat on that one too. The straps and body were one piece and there was no give to stretch across my back. I got rid of it quickly. The next person who shops for a bra at Goodwill may just find mine, brand new with tags for 99 cents.

I finally pulled out a sexy, lacy, low cut underwire bra I had tucked away during my bra splurge earlier. I eased out of my sling, as I have to do to dress. I flipped the bra over, pulled it around my back til I could fasten the three hooks in front, then pulled it back around to the front. All with one hand! Slowly I slipped in my right arm and then the left arm, careful not to jostle my shoulder. Everything fell into place and with a tug of the right hand I was secure. I looked down and actually grinned. I looked hot in that bra.

I slipped on my shirt (one of many I had to purchase that buttoned down the front) and headed to the doctor for my first check-up after surgery. I decided that sometimes sexy works better. The lower cuts on this bra made it so much easier to get in and I liked the fact a little lace peaked back at my doctor as he gently removed my stitches.

I love my new bras and, while I still have to do the backwards twirl to get myself dressed, I am working it well. I have extras if my dog steals one and my friends no longer lecture me on bra ownership! If only I had known this earlier.

Widow Lesson Learned: Bras can lift your spirits as well as your.....well, never mind.

Lately I've Been Thinking About Shoes

2010-08-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

This?

Or This?

I've been watching more TV than usual since my rotator cuff surgery. I lean back on the sofa, my big black sling rising like a phoenix from my side, a can of soda within reach, my little Chloe curled on my lap, five other dogs stretched over chairs and my feet propped up on a foot stool. I look at my feet and there are my cozy black canvas Mary Jane shoes tapping against each other.

I am bored watching yet another show. But I am resting my shoulder, arm and back since I have actually been out shopping and am in some discomfort from all the movement earlier in the day. I am not on pain meds, which may be why the current show I am watching is painful.

I am on the E network, where yet another young star is prancing down the red carpet in tall heels. You know those sexy, spike heels that are called *whoops* F/ME shoes. I haven't worn heels of any height in 15 years. Day after day they parade by in shoes that are so high I tremble they may trip and fall. How does anyone balance on those spikes?

I am watching the TV over my own pitiful, flat, comfy Mary Janes that are propped up on a footstool directly in my vision as I am slumped down on the couch. (Note: since slipping in the kitchen in my bare feet I wear shoes at all times).

Now, not only my sling is making me feel sexless, I am worried my favorite shoes are dated or, perhaps, just leaving me dateless.

I love Mary Janes. That is all I wear most all the time. Canvas for casual, black for business, and silver for evening. I do wear flat ankle boots in winter. But still no heels.

Is there a man alive who will consider me hot in my Mary Janes? Then I think, is there a man alive who could make me want to wear heels? My answer, no. That may be why I sit at home with six dogs.

I think style can be expressed in many ways. Mine is casual, funky, a little cowgirl in the winter. I am never as cute dressed in my clothes as I feel. But it is how I feel that I like when I am dressed in things I love.

I shop at thrift stores and buy designer coats for $10. Perfect. I find long skirts, frilly T's, and vintage hip length jackets to wear over jeans for dress up. I bought a Coach bag for $16.

I love to layer jewelry, both vintage and newly made artist pieces. I am eagerly awaiting my Silver And Grace necklace from Eliza's Fire Collection called Heartbeat. A red gem that will accent layers of chunky turquoise necklaces.

No one will care what I wear that day, my jewelry will bedazzle them. My flat Mary Janes will keep me grounded under the weight of my jewelry. Bet I would topple over in spike heels and, well, tear my other rotator cuff. So Mary Janes seem appropriate yet again.

Another plus, not related to fashion - I don't mind short men.

I do have a fantasy. I am in a flirty skirt, my legs are flawless, my heels shameless and men are dropping like flies when I walk pass them on the street. I step over each man carefully so I won't accidently pierce him with my spikes.

I think this reoccurring dream comes from a song I love by Kristy MacColl, In These Shoes. It was the song in the end credits for the movie Kinky Boots.

Widow Lesson Learned: It is better to walk tall in flats than to fall flat on your face trying to be something you are not.

Sybil After Surgery - Donate To AAR And Get Your Angel Wings

2010-08-06T05:35:00.000-07:00

Sybil relaxing after surgery. Oh my, what a sweet girl.

An update from Debra at Animal Action Rescue:
Sybil's surgery took place Tuesday, August 3 at Northlake Veterinary Surgery. When I took her in and met with Dr. Greenwood the reality of the seriousness and risks of open heart surgery hit my like a ton of bricks. They have never seen me cry, but I was terrified. This sweet, loving little girl had totally won my heart, no pun intended. NVS is an awesome group and supplied me with hugs and tissues and suggested an early happy hour since I had a designated driver with me. They kept me updated throughout the day and I finally got the call that she survived. I picked her up and took her to our emergency vet (AECD) for observation that night. This little girl is a trooper and is doing great and recovering well at our vet, The Village Vets of Decatur! She is alert, eating well and gets very excited when she has a visitor. She is a staff favorite and they say it was a pleasure to take care of her because of her gentle and sweet nature. She will be seeing Dr. Greenwood tomorrow (Friday) and if he gives the ok, Sybil will be going to her foster home that evening. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the generous donations provided that saved Sybil's life. She is going to be a wonderful companion and family member when she is ready for her forever home, I only wish it would be with me. Unfortunately, I have too many "forever" foster dogs to provide her the life she so deserves!

My update:

Sybil is just one of many incredible dog stories from Animal Action Rescue. This group is dear to my heart as you know. My book signing and silent auction was dedicated to them. 100% of every penny that came in went directly to AAR.

My book sales through August 20th will still go to AAR as mentioned in my previous post. (So far no one has taken me up on my offer, but Deb and gang I am still pitching for you.) Sybil has had her surgery but there is work to be done. So many dogs need care and homes.

Meet some of the AAR group in the photo from my book signing:

It is not to late to donate. You can still help another dog. Link to AAR Donate and make a Pay Pal donation of $16 and forward a copy of your receipt to me with your mailing address and I will send a copy of my book The Unfaithful Widow to you. Plenty of dog stories there to make you smile. Offer good through August 20th.

Not in the mood to read or spend $16? Go to the same link and make a small donation and earn your Doggie Angel Wings. Let me know you've made a donation and I will post a list of Dog Angels the end of this month. A small donation can make a huge difference.

Contact me at bb-bjd@comcast.net .

Widow Lesson Learned: A healthy heart begins with sharing with others.

Buy My Book By August 20, Help Save A Dog, All Money To AAR

2010-07-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

Open Your Hearts To Save Hers! Buy The Unfaithful Widow in the next twenty days by making a $16.00 donation to Chip In (click link) for Animal Action Rescue and e-mail ( forward) payment confirmation to me ( bb-bjd@comcast.net) with your mailing address and any autograph you want. Shipping is free media mail. I will let you know book is on its way.

How could we resist this face? Sybil is a happy, friendly girl but was diagnosed with Patent DuctusArteriosus (PDA), so she was scheduled to be put to sleep unless a rescue groupagreed to take her. We had to save her. Ifthe PDA is left untreated, about 60 percent of affected dogs die within a yearof diagnosis. When caught early, and following treatment with successfulclosure of the PDA, most dogs live a normal life. She is young andotherwise healthy, so her prognosis is EXCELLENT! Can you please open yourheart to save hers?

Visit Animal Action Rescue On The Web

Widow Lesson Learned: Start small end big. Every little bit of good you do for others opens your heart to greatness.

Surgery Update 3: Buy Jewelry To Grace Your Neck And Forget Bad Hair

2010-07-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Lily Pad from the new Silver And Grace Collection

My friend Eliza from Canada has designed a wonderful jewelry line and launched it this week. Go check it out by clicking here. You will love Eliza and the spirit of her jewelry.

I am wrestling with my curling iron one handed to poof my flat hair. I remember writing in my book put a piece of jewelry where you want to draw attention. Maybe a wonderful piece from Eliza will take my attention away from my hair before I fry it! I can manage most things now that my stitches came out Thursday, but oh my hair..........I think it's time to shop!

Widow lesson learned: It is better to cook up a new way to feel attractive than to let your hair melt down trying to feel hot.

Post Surgery Week 2 Dancing To Usher's OMG

2010-07-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

OMG. Let's dance with
Usher.

Want a way to get your feet moving, rockin and getting ready to dance through the day? Listen to Usher's OMG. First heard it driving to the gym when I started my workout a few months ago and can't get that song out of my brain. Don't ask me about Usher, but ask me about that song my smile gets big, my right arm does a little hip hop move and my feet start keeping the beat. ENERGY up!
Just crawled out of bed, put on my music, gotta take my arm from sling for some elbow exercises. Sure hope I don't get to excited and throw the wrong arm up in the air! But you know how it is when you're feeling it!
Thanks Usher for my favorite wake up call.
Widow lesson learned (this lesson I always knew): Dance like you're a rock star and it will make your day rock.

Oh my, I'll remember my surgery next trip to the vet!

2010-07-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

Rotator Cuff Surgery. If I were that cute, young and blonde, hey I wouldn't be having a bad hair day.

Be very afraid dear dogs. I don't now which one of you peed on the foor the day oh my fall, but you might want to watch carefully on you're next trip to the vet.
Aha! I looked at my dogs lined up before me while I eased myself onto the couch. My huge sling almost blocking them from view as I plopped ever so gently down on the cushion. Six little faces smiled at me, six tails wagging. Not one aware my accident might be their fault. And truth be told it was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going, moving so fast and then......well the rest is history.
Surgery this past Monday for the worst rotator cuff tear the doc had seen. To think I was just worried how I would do my hair. Makes me laugh I was so naive. Now I wonder how I'll get my bra on and shirt. If you can't get those two things on to leave the house, don't worry how your hair is doing!
I am actually happy to report how well this is going in spite of feeling like a fashion victim. The surgeon was fantastic. A sports ortho surgeon with the latest technology.
My big worry and big news is that I am going to have a 5 minute spot talking about my book on The Balancing Act on The Lifetime Network. Filming is in Ft.Lauderdale on August 30th.
"Have to be out of my sling by then, doc." I sounded cool, but I was having a panic attack.
"We'll get you in on Monday, but you'll have to hustle to get the pre-op done. "
Was home by 8pm the day of outpatient surgery. Ran straight by dogs and lay flat on my back, gut sick from meds. Funny thing by the next morning I stopped pain meds and started feeling human. Next day was good. Now my energy level is so high I gotta find a bra and button shirt so I can get out again. Stitches out this Thursday (five tiny spots around my shoulder arthroscopic surgery), sling for 6 weeks and then physical therapy for 6 plus weeks. Cool. I can handle this. Typing with one hand a challenge, but doable.
Left shoulder, not right. Thank you I talk to the man upstairs.
Another round of applause. Thank you Dr. Branch and nurse Tim, two angels of mercy for me. I took in a copy of The Unfaithful Widow and now one of the other nurses wants to meet me when my stitches come out. I feel almost famous.
Sometimes the things we fear can overwhelm us. Oh how I feared surgery.
My old motto from my workout days was not a good one. No pain, gee, no pain. Heck with the gain part.
Life keeps reminding me to be brave and when you come at something with an open heart, good things happen. In the overall scheme of my life will rotator cuff surgery be something that once again brings something from the universe, or will I finally just learn to stop whining when I get hurt? Either way it will be a winning streak for me.
I smile at my dogs. Soon, I whisper to each with love. Soon you'll be sleeping with me again. Try not to look so put out sleeping on the rose chintz slipcover chairs in the living room.
What a lazy bunch of hounds, but each watching me carefully to be sure I am OK.

Can we come in? Promise we'll be good.

Widow lesson learned: No pain, no gain. There is always something to be learned if we have faith to make the best of it.

It's Official - A Torn Rotator Cuff, Surgery and A New Web

2010-07-08T05:19:00.000-07:00

The words I was hoping not to hear. "Well, my dear, it's completely torn."

I looked at the doctor who was very pleasing to look at and batted my eyes. "What does that mean?" I knew what it meant, surgery.

"Going to have surgery, next Monday and then maybe eight weeks in a sling."

"Ouch."

"Have to tack it down all the way across."

You know you are a female when the biggest worry is hair. As in how will I do my hair?

It is my left arm which is good news. I can dress, do everything, slowly, even wash my hair in the shower and blow dry it. Then from there I just sit looking in the mirror. How do you style hair with one hand?

I am into plastic headbands from CVS at the moment. My new look, tosseled and pinned down with plastic. My fashion statement.

"You look younger," My good friend tried to make me feel better over dinner the other night. "Straight hair makes you look younger." She was on her second glass of wine. I was eating apple pie.

"And, hey," she waved her glass in the air to flag our waiter, "with that band around your chest holding the sling, you don't have to wear a bra."

I looked at my pie and when the waiter came to our table I ordered vanilla ice cream on the side.

I've written about my fall on The Red Room in glorious details. The truth on how I slipped revealed.

Then I wrote on the USA today.com a blurb on what I was reading these days. You got it, pitched The Unfaithful Widow for sale on Amazon. I have been writing on many sites under the name writerwithdogs. I got a response back saying, "I wish I'd thought of that name."

I googled it and sure enough my writing under that name is everywhere. So I went and bought the domain writerwithdogs.com and now have a new web page.

A new book is in the works, Covered in Fur, which will be dogs stories, both real and fiction. Haven't figured it out yet, but with my trusty laptop I can mend after surgery sitting on my sofa, dogs by me feet, organizing my writing and sipping LaCroix sparkling water, since I am off caffine now for the surgery. Once weaned I like this better than my sodium and caffine filled sodas.

A bad hair day and a sparkling water. Almost has an aura to it.

Come visit my new web Writer With Dogs and see the fun I'm going to have while my shoulder mends.

I am putting together a media kit for The Unfaithful Widow and if you check my web there you can see it all. Even listen to my podcast on Nia Promotions.

So busy at work is the best way for me to forget I've got surgery coming up. This could be just the ticket to get me writing again. Have been promoting like crazy and miss my little essays.

You will hear from me next after Monday when I tell you how this all works out.

Widow Lesson Learned: When life gives you lemons, write a book.

Successful Silent Auction For AAR Then A Slip For Me

2010-07-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday nite was wonderful. The booksigning and silent auction at Heartfield Manor for Animal Action Rescue was great. We raised a lot of moola for some super folks. Thanks to Michelle of Expressions Photography who came and took photos. I'll have them next week to share with you. To Chef Phil Scales for some upgraded dog treats, Larry Joe Hall for music to make you move, and my friend Sandra for letting us use her lovely bed and breakfast. The Corvette made the run and was parked outside flashing everyone who entered. Had an offer to buy the vette, but lets get real, can't part with my soul mate. But thanks for the thought. NY Basset Hound Rescue has a 1968 red corvette for auction, may need to check that out. Wowie, a beaut of a car.

Now for my latest news and why I may be buying a new kitchen floor. I slipped on dog pee (oh, yes, dog pee, but sometimes a dog just has to go) and landed on my butt, dislocating my left shoulder. While waiting in the ER for three hours to have it popped back in I imagined a new floor, a cushy vinyl rather than the slick laminate faux wood floor I have to cushion just such a blow. Right now if there is any water on this floor you will hydroplane across it. Then this morning just as I was feeling fit from the blow on Tuesday, I stretched and darn if the shoulder didn't go out again. Another trip to the ER, same procedure. Tomorrow I go to the doctor to see how to behave with my new sling. Any one have a suggestion on what type of floor - other than carpet - will not be slippery?

Everyone have a great 4th. Check back next week for some photos of our great charity event for Animal Action Rescue.

Widow Lesson Learned: It is more fun to sit on your butt signing books than to fall on your butt and land in the ER.

Meet Miss April In Paris On Tilly The Rescue Dog's Blog

2010-06-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

Tilly the Rescue Dog's Blog

The life and adventures of a very special little rescued dog & her canine companions and friends! Click above and visit Tilly in the UK.

Miss April In Paris, the last dog to come in my house in January of this year has her own blog where she dreams of visiting Paris. Today she is a guest speaker on Tilly's blog in the UK. I am sharing the post with you.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010 Please would you all give a big welcome to my very special guest today, the beautiful Miss April in Paris. She has a lovely story to tell, and without any further ado I'll hand you over to her.
Hope you enjoy it.
Lots of love,
Tilly

Bonjour Everyone,

Enchante. I am very excited to finally get attention and share my story here. If there is a handsome dog that finds me fetching, contact me. I am a single female, young at four years and very lovely in my vintage rose hat. Don’t you think I look delightful in it?

I wasn’t always this outgoing. I am the sixth dog in a house of dogs. The grand dame is Foxy who is fourteen human years old. The rest of the dogs, my new friends, all came from local rescue shelters in the last year. Miss Barbara lost her husband and decided that dogs were the best source of love. And that rescue dogs give the best kisses. She has written a book about her first year as a widow and how rescue dogs rescued her.

I was the last one to come live with Miss Barbara right after New Year’s Eve this year. I am not in her book but I have my own blog. My owner is wonderful, but it took her a week to finally notice me. I had to bump her elbow while she was on that computer and I heard her say in a confused tone, “I’ve just lost my Outlook tool bar!” Whatever that means. Then she turned to me, held my face in her hands and said in the sweetest voice, “April who are you?” She bent down and kissed my nose making me feel very special indeed. “Let me call you April In Paris because you are so lovely.” How did she know I love Paris? I dream of going to Paris and having a bowl of sparkling water at the Café Le Paris on the Avenue des Champs Elysees. Oui! I hum the old tune April In Paris to myself almost daily. Now I am called Miss April In Paris.

I love my full name. So don’t call me just April. I only answer to April In Paris. I had my Easter photo taken in my lovely chapeau and the rest is history. I have my own blog where I share my dreams of Paris. http://aprilinparisdivadog.blogspot.com/

I was very frightened in the animal shelter and lived there for two years. I was taken care of by State Trooper Peggy who started the non-profit rescue shelter Atlanta Canine Adoption Project http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/GA244.html in Monticello, Georgia, about an hour from where I live now. She kissed me and fed me, but the bigger dogs bullied me. There were sixty dogs at the shelter and I am a big girl, but the bigger dogs could sense I was nervous and they were mean to me. I have a scar to prove it.

State Trooper Peggy let me sleep with her, but I wanted my own special person. Then Miss Barbara called after seeing my face on the rescue web site and wanted me. My drive to her house was the best time. We kissed and ate chick filet nuggets. Such yummy food. I wonder if I can find those in Paris?

I was nervous when I arrived and saw five fellow dogs come running out to greet me. I hit the ground worried I might get attacked again. But how silly, I was greeted with barks and licks. My old girl friend Rascal was there. We had been together at Monticello but she came to Miss Barbara a week before I did. Then there were the others. They came from Animal Action Rescue, a cool dog shelter I’ve been told by the others. http://www.animalactionrescue.org/

Miss Barbara has dedicated her book to her favorite dog rescue shelters and is having a big party in June with a silent auction for Animal Action Rescue. I heard her tell a friend who came by to meet me that her book is her widow story, but it is full of dog stories too. She wants to help rescue groups because she loves dogs so much.

Thank you for inviting me to share my story. From rescue dog to Diva. Merci.
Au revoir, until we meet again.
Miss April In Paris
Widow Lesson Learned: There are friends to be met all over the world if you open your heart.

Blog Tour Continues: 4 The Love of Animals Featuring Rascal June 10th

2010-06-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

Miss Rascal was featured on the blog 4 The Love of Animals on Thursday, June 10. A copy of her blog post is below. Click on the link for more of this wonderful blog dedicated to animals.

Thanks to Barbara Barth for this guest post. Barbara wrote a memoir about her first year as a widow called The Unfaithful Widow. A good portion of the book is about the rescue dogs that grieved with her and comforted her during this time. Surprisingly, it is also a funny–no, a hilarious–story of readjusting to single life after 25 years in a relationship. Barth is also writing a second book: Covered in Fur: Lessons Learned Living With Six Dogs.

Rascal And Swan Lake

Rascal. What a perfect name for such a cherub of a dog. Full of mischief and such a tomboy, I forget at times she is a girl. It took me two weeks to stop calling her, him. The placement of a rhinestone tiara on her head changed all that.

She is short to the ground, thick, round, and weighs in at thirty-five pounds of solid muscle. Rascal gleefully runs across the room and jumps on the couch to be near you. She hits your lap and you’d swear a bowling ball just landed with a plop. The she starts gleefully licking your face with her very thick tongue.

“What is she?” I asked when I called the shelter.

The mixture of patterns on her squat body fascinated me. A little clown dog her white square face and palest pink highlights. With one blue eye and one dark eye, she looks back at you with adoration. Most of her body is pinkish white. A third of the way down her back it looks like a crazy woman tried knitting a brindle sweater on her. When she rolls on her side, her plump belly is pink and white with huge polka dots sprinkled from one end to another.

“She has bulldog in her,” the voice at the end of the phone told me. “And maybe a little daschund.”

I looked at the photo and thought no

“How do you get that? She looks like she has some pit in her.” There was that dreaded word pit. I’ve seen so many pit mixes looking for homes. It is sad people give them such a bad rap.

“Well, could be. But when you see her crooked legs and funny feet, you’ll understand.”

She does have funny feet. Think ballet. Her front feet splay outwards. She looks like a ballerina about to do a plié (plee-AY). The word plié means “bent.” To do this ballet move, you stand at the barre in the starting position and turn your feet out only as far as is comfortable. Then you bend at the knees, your arm gently goes out and you rise back up.

My vet smiled when he met Rascal. He mimicked the ballet position, placed his feet facing outward and did a low dip, raising and lowering his arms.

"I’m getting too old for this.” He smiled at me. “I think that movement just pinched my back.”

“You were pretty graceful. With your talent and Rascal’s feet, you both could be in Swan Lake.” I laughed watching him try to bend his knees again.

“She’s a cutie.” My vet chuckled as he bent down to listen to her heart.

Rascal took her thick tongue and gave him a kiss.

“How many dogs is this now, Miss Barbara?” He likes to kid me about that too.

Rascal was the fourth rescue dog to recently come into my house. Add in my old dog Foxy and now there are five. The non-profit animal shelter that had Rascal was run by a State Trooper. State Trooper Peggy. She came to do the home check in full uniform. I opened the door to be greeted with flashing lights so bright they almosted blinded me in the dark of night.

“Told ya I was gonna do that.” She gave a hearty chuckle as I invited her in.

Yes indeedy. I am sure my neighbors wondered what this widow lady had done, now that the law was in her driveway.

Rascal was delivered to me on New Year’s Eve. I laughingly told the state trooper I needed a date and Rascal was it. She had sixty dogs and was ready to find a good home for this one. She didn’t care if I sounded crazy.

“Be a better date than most, I reckon.” She had me sign some papers before she made a hasty retreat.

Rascal was a bundle of love that suddenly had invaded the space of my other dogs. That night I was a wreck. As the ball fell in Times Square to bring in the New Year, I was trying to keep my wits about me while my seven pound rescue Chihuahua yapped at Rascal. Her little voice screeching in my ears.

The other dogs ignored the situation, but I was worried the bowling ball shaped new member of the pack might land on the Chi and squash her. She was certainly annoying enough.

New Year’s Day was no better. The yapping from the Chi was impossible. Rascal was mouthing her and the two of them were rolling over each other on the couch.

I called the State Trooper Peggy. “Those two are going at it. Rascal has her mouth on my Chi’s neck…” I knew I was going to loose the seven pounder.

“Aw, they’re just playing. Rascal mouthed the puppies from the last litter here. She’s gentle. Get out, relax and let them play.”

I looked at the dogs in front of me, grabbed my purse and ran out the door. Dinner and a glass of wine. That was all I could think of. They’ll sort it out.

I returned two hours later and five dogs were watching for me, lined up in front of the picture window. I turned the key in the door and five dogs came up, happy to see me. Rascal and the Chi were running side by side. In that short period I was out of the house, leaving the dogs to fend for themselves, they bonded.

The dance continues at this house. A week later a sixth dog was brought to me by State Trooper Peggy. I think I hear Tchaikovsky's music on my classical radio station. Swan Lake. I can picture Rascal, in her tiara, leading the pack, as they pirouette across my hardwood floors.

Widow Lesson Learned: Dance like no one's watching......who can have you committed.

Book Review From Canada for WOW

2010-06-09T08:25:00.000-07:00

Book review: The Unfaithful Widow by Barbara Barth (click to read what they are saying about my book in Canada).

My blog tour continues with Silver & Grace. Click here to see Eliza's women's blog and click above for my book review. Every day Eliza has wonderful posts for women.

I love what she and her guests have to say and am so happy to have been included today! Thanks Eliza.

Widow Lesson Learned: A blog tour finds great new friends along its journey.

Here is the skinny. I joined a gym. Awesome.

2010-06-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

My new hot spot, Ladies Workout Express

I just came back from a session with my personal trainer. She is twenty-six, has three kids, skinny as a rail, eats ice cream and looks eighteen. I look worn out in my sad gym outfit. Denim capris, a one size fits all T with a smart chick on the front of it, oversized New Balance shoes that make my feet feel like they are stuck in buckets. I have to stand in front of the mirror, next to this adorable girl and watch myself lift weights. It is the closest moment to hell I've had in some time. I joined the gym a week ago, hired a personal trainer and am determined this is my year to glow, even if just from the sweat. Know what, I am feeling great. After one week. How cool is that?
I look like the me I was when my husband died. I did loose fifteen pounds the first few months, they have come back to visit me again. But I am sluggish. I have never been sluggish. I sit writing on the computer until 4 AM some mornings. My inner clock is confused. What time is it? I am confused. What day is it? Inner clock and I are having a meeting of the minds. I am exercising and getting us both on track.
Here are my ground rules to the personal trainer. I am paying for my sessions so I want some say!
I want to work with weights and machines. If I wanted to be on the floor doing leg kicks I'd stay at home. Check box one, no floor exercises.
"Let's get your weight and measurements." She was so perky. "No, I think not." I was so determined. "I'll know changes when I see them."
Numbers don't matter. I feel the same with age. Don't box me in with figures. The point of this adventure is to feel better, move with more grace and feel hot. Not hot flash hot, but hot and sexy looking.
It is not a numbers game for me, it is a state of mind situation. She agreed. So I love working with her.
I ride the exercise bike for five minutes to warm up. Last week we worked on my upper body, this week my legs. They are still moving after today's workout, so that is a plus.
After my session with the trainer I ride the bike for thirty minutes. Long, boring minutes. I try to read. I drop my book. I try to watch TV but it is hard for me to see the captions from that distance. I think I will take music next visit. I'll groove while I move.
If I sound like a wus, I may be. But I'll be a strong wus soon.
My pet photographer recommended the gym. It is low key, a power gym for women only. I love that.
She told me about it when she came to take my "professional" photo for my media kit. I was grumpy (rare for me, but it happens) and uptight. Had been dreading the session. Instead of doing my hair and fixing my makeup I was cleaning dog poop off the floor when she arrived. Now that's a way to look your best. It did make me laugh, the situation was so silly, so my smile was big. April In Paris was my dog partner for the shoot. She was more glamorous than I was. Pity. But she is a diva. Check out my photographer's web Rupa K. Photography. That girl can photograph dogs! The gym came up as a way for me to relax. I have been up late writing, yet again, and marketing my book. My health taking a back table. Rupa convinced me to start taking care of myself. It works. I have a glow. I need a shower, but I think I'll leave the sweat glistening on my skin. It's salty and maybe the dogs will kiss me. I am my own cocktail, a salty dog! Yum. I'll keep you posted on how this all works out.
Widow Lesson Learned: Sweat makes you glow and washes away the grim in your brain.

Blog Tour Continues With Mom-e-Centric June 1, 2010

2010-06-02T01:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Mom-e-Centric for having my post on my WOW (Women On Writing) blog tour.

Those of you who know me that I have no reservations about telling you how I spend way too much time online blogging and reading blogs. Barbara is my kind of lady! Jerri

Addicted To Blogs

Blog crazy. My friends laugh at my love of blogs.

“Started a new blog last night.” I called my best friend first thing in the morning to share the excitement.

“Another one?” She was clearly not as impressed as I was.

“Yeah, wait until you see it.”

“That makes three now since December if I remember correctly.”

I hear it in her voice. She thinks I’m crazy.

She’s right. My interest in blogs peaked at the end of the year. I haven’t been the same since December.

My first blog was to promote my book, my memoir on becoming a widow. I have to laugh. It is really my dog blog. I talk about the six rescue dogs that rescued me. My sister read it and wrote me back. No wonder you can’t get a date. All those dogs. I do go overboard. No kids, so the pups are my babies.

I am an antique dealer, love all things garden related and make botanical themed jewelry. Why not have a blog and talk about those things? Good idea and a way to reconnect with my antique buddies. So Barb’s Botanical Garden got started the following month.

My latest blog is about my sixth rescue dog, April In Paris. She has a story to tell. A hunting dog in a vintage hat with a huge pink rose has a lot on her mind. April dreams of visiting Paris and this is her diary.

I can hardly wait to write at night and my lonely evenings are lit up with my joy of blogging. I write and feel connected.

My love of blogs comes from my old passion for journals. Reading a blog is like opening a journal. I love the intimacy created by the writer and the implied friendship with the sharing of thoughts. I am amazed at the wealth of talent by unknown authors, crafters, decorators, and life commentators. I adore the spunky gals who tell it like it is. I laugh out loud as they comment on the craziness of the day. The humor right to the core of life and its problems. Something I can read and identify with.

I learned a new word through blogging. Giveaways. A great read and a chance to win something. Hey, it doesn’t get any better than that.

I will always buy books because I love the feel of a book in my hand. I love to enter small cozy independent shops. But I find discovering a new blog that enchants me as thrilling as finding a new book at my favorite bookshop.

I am excited to have found this great blog, Mom~E~Centric. Just having read the latest entry on cat fights and the nasty business of women in business hit a nerve with me. Been there, done that. Glad to hear it wasn’t just me.

Blogs give more information and fun than most anything I can find to read. So I will continue to be addicted to blogging. Just how many more blogs I feel the need to create is yet to be seen.

Widow Lesson Learned: It is much better to be blog crazy than plain crazy.

Today's The Day. My Blog Tour On WOW Starts

2010-05-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

Check out my launch interview! and my tour dates.

Woke up this morning, grabbed my faithful cup of freshly brewed coffee and brought in my e-mails. Aha! There it was. I knew it would be. But I wanted to be sure since I am so excited. I am on a blog tour with WOW (Women On Writing) for the next month. Today was their kick off e-mail to subscribers advising them of my tour and dates. The The Muffin has my complete interview. They did a lovely job and even the colors they used blend with my book. Thanks Jodi and Gang at WOW. Click on the links in green and see for yourself. Today I am a bigger publicity hound than my dogs. Check their schedule and see where you can find me all month long.
Widow Lesson Learned: Its OK to be a publicity hound for a day just don't get carried away and steal the dog bones from the pack.
Note from grand dame Foxy: I'm on the interview too. Steak for dinner pu-lease.

DOG NEEDS HOME....... CHECK OUT THAT HAIRCUT

2010-05-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

My sister in Florida sent me these photos of a lost dog who landed in the right spot. Temporarily. Matty needs a home. See how pretty Matty looks? Check out the before photo of this little tyke and Pam's words on his hair cut.

"He's been to the beauty parlor! His fur was so matted it came off in one piece! Turns out he's fixed and has a chip, but the chip is not registered."

Matty was found in Georgia by Tom, my sis and her hubbys good friend. Tom is taking care of Matty's medical costs but someone lovely needs to make a home for this cutie pie.

My six stared me down when I showed them Matty's photo. I think they said this inn was full. What about yours? Matty is currently in the Inverness Florida area.

BEFORE

AFTER

Oh No-o-o-o-o!

The pelt

What a good doggie.

Photos Pam King Photography

Widow Lesson Learned: There are bad hair days and then there are really bad hair days. But there is never a bad day to share love.

The Unfaithful Widow Book Trailer On You Tube

2010-05-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

Check Out My Book Trailer On YouTube

I have the most wonderful literary agent in the world! Finding him has been my own little miracle. You know, I am learning as I go. This is hard work to do by yourself, MARKETING a book. And I thought dating was impossible. My literay agent is my new favorite person next to all of you I love. But he is rapidly gaining in my ranks of special people.
I opened my e-mail today and there was a link to a book trailer on YouTube . Click and check it out. John has had my book for two days and I am on YouTube. Cool. I am so happy I don't care I have no date this weekend! I am silly with happiness.
Turn on your speakers and check it out. Music is perfect. He read my book and got it. Thanks John!
A little about PageOneLit.com.
PageOneLit.com was one of the first Literary Newsletter Websites online. Older than Google and MySpace.Writers Digest 2009 Best of 101 writers sites Online.

Getting Ready For A Book Launch! Come Join Me!

2010-05-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Things are starting to fit into place. The Unfaithful Widow will be appearing on a virtual online blog tour. Check out the following links and dates and be sure to stop by and say hello. You could win a free copy of my book!

On May 15th I am sensational! I am so excited. I have a short interview on the blog Writing Without Periods for their Sensational Woman Saturday when they shift their blog focus to women they admire. I can't tell you how pleased I was they asked me to join them. I like being sensational! Kind of like Queen For A Day! Thanks Mary for making me feel so special. Your blog is one of the funniest and best!

Then starting May 24th through June 24th you will find me on a blog tour with WOW, Women On Writing. Check The Muffin on May 24th for my blog launch and a list of dates and places you can find me. I'll be chatting about my thought process, such as it is! Fragmented, scrambled and slightly fried.

On the local front, June 26th will be my official Atlanta book launch with an book signing event and silent auction with Animal Action Rescue. More details on that later. Keep your eye on this blog and first of June there will be more celebration. A book giveaway with some special treats for you and your dog! I love surprises and June will be bursting with them!

Remember my current giveaway, countdown to May 24th! Be sure to leave a comment to be entered.

The Unfaithful Widow is available now online at Amazon. Just go to their book section and search by title!

Widow Lesson Learned: When the hard work is done, the work gets harder. Marketing, the next hardest or most hardest thing after writing!

Spring Back: Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Altered Art Photo: Pam King

Photography

Welcome Jen Wilbur Guest Blogger

2010-05-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

I happened across Jen's blog and fell in love with her photos and dogs. May be the best dog blog ever. If you love dogs and the beach or just a great site to visit to make you smile, her blog is a must see. It will grab your heart as it did mine. You can find her blog at A Dog's Beach (click link).

Let's meet Jen.
Jen Wilbur lives in San Diego and takes her two French Bulldogs to a local 24-hour leash-free beach almost daily. She shares photos, sometimes stories, of the multitude of dogs she encounters via her blog, A Dog’s Beach She’s my first guest blogger and today shares stories and pics of Lily, one of the beach’s most famous rescue dogs. I am so excited that she has shared Lily's story with us.
Lily's Tale, Rescued By A Beach. Be sure to click on links for original postings on A Dog's Beach and get more of Lily's story.
Lily, an Australian cattle dog, was found abandoned on the side of the freeway in Arizona while one of our beach's regulars, Nate, was coming home after a Thanksgiving visit last year.
She was just a pup when Nate took her home to San Diego, knowing at least one of the dog lovers at our beach would take very good care of her. And boy was he right! Kurt and Sharon had recently lost two dear dogs of theirs and brought a new, older dog, Fetch (Lily's "brother" now), into the fold. When the little bundle of energy (now known as Lily) entered the picture, I think it was a done deal. She quickly found a warm home with Kurt, Sharon and Fetch and visits the beach every morning. Lucky dog! She wouldn't have had that life in Arizona, for sure.
The story of Lily is one that is characteristic of many at A Dog's Beach.
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of dog lovers that bring their dogs to the beach daily, and if they can't make it daily they are there as often as they can. Seeing the dogs play with each other, in the water, chasing seagulls and curiously greeting people is a joy to watch.
While there is a group of folks I see quite regularly, I'm always meeting another interesting person and discovering new breeds and mixes I never knew existed. There are purebred pups and every combo you can imagine, and all are spoiled equally.
But Lily and her peeps are also an example of how a community can be so helpful and giving.
Molly and Al adopted the dog of another regular after she couldn't keep her pup any longer. We all met Doris when she took her annual sabbatical to our beach and other places to avoid the cold Canadian winters. She came back one time just to watch the home and dogs of people she'd met at the beach.
Don't get me started on how many balls Riptide (my dog) has managed to charm out of others because he wants it so badly.
The stories are endless.
Lily is one lucky dog among some pampered pooches here in San Diego.

Lily was a little wiggly when I tried to take a recent pic, but here she is just last week with her "brother" Fetch.

Lily after a little bit of fun in the water. Love the definition in her wet coat.

Even if you don't live here, come visit. There's even a hotel just steps away from the beach that is happy to put you and your furry friend up for a night or two.

Jen, Thanks for joining us. I love your blog and the dogs. My six are now impatiently waiting for a trip to the beach. No water in sight here, but maybe they will get a treat soon. By the way, Jen, I am now following you on twitter! Check out Jen's blog and then visit her on twitter at SDDogBeach and RockstarJen .

Little Dog - Huge Personality

2010-05-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

Chloe loves flowers. She is a garden gal and flower child.

Chloe, my 3 year old Chi. She came to me for my birthday last August. My third rescue dog, bringing my total to four. She didn't have a heart break story she just had a sad story. Her owner turned her in to a rescue group at 2 years of age. The charm of owning a dog had worn off. An expensive puppy for her previous owner to buy, but at age 2 Chloe no longer held her owner's interest. It was not a financial decision for the owner, she just decided she didn't want the little dog that was not house broken. Not house broken because she was trained on pee pads. Not Chloe's fault.
I do admire the woman who owned Chloe for she did the right thing. Turned her in. Gave her to a rescue group. Let her find a new home. I am sure there was an element of embarrassment on her part explaining she just didn't want a dog anymore. But she did right by Chloe. Chloe's trauma level was low. She went from her home to another home then to my home. She changed owners, but her heart was never broken. She was never dumped by the side or just left behind. That owner was humane in how she handled the situation.
I met Chloe outside of PetSmart in Tucker, Georgia. Mother and I were going to Goodwill and I suggested stopping by to see who was up for adoption next door. Looking at rescue dogs was more fun than looking at men on Match and my success rate was 100% better with dogs.
There was this seven pound Chihuahua sitting on her foster mom's shoulder. I looked at her and thought why not? My mother help lead me into this folly with the words I'll take her if she doesn't work out. The foster mom looked at us both closely and then pointed her finger at my chest. If she doesn't work out, you call me. You don't give her to anyone else. I smiled. Then reassured her. Chloe was staying with me.
We got home to three dogs curious as to the small dog that landed in the midst of their wagging tails. Foxy, Bray and Annabelle now had a new friend. A small petite friend who would soon snap then all into shape. For the moment Chloe raced through the living room, danced in circles then jumped up in my lap her tiny paws hitting my shoulders and a tiny tongue licking my face.
Chloe is like the cherry on an ice cream sundae. That tiny bit of flavor that adds punch. My other three dogs all the same size, like the three big scoops of ice cream in the bowl. Then that little tyke on top. The grand finale I was sure.
Who knew I still had two more rescue dogs waiting to come to my house. But that is a story for another time.
Chloe loves to run the yard. She is like a blast of energy as she leaps and bounds around the perimeter of my fenced yard. Faster than a speeding bullet. A little clown showing off, they a little baby who tires and wants to sleep with her heard by your cheek.
I thank her previous owner for the gift of Chloe. And I thank her for being brave enough to look at someone and say, no I can't keep her. That takes courage. She could have abandoned her, as many people do, but she had the goodness to give Chloe a second chance. I am that second chance and she has my heart.
Can you find the little doggie snooping in the garden?

Look closely and you'll see a little dog butt.

Is that a little doggie behind the deer? Oh so small and curious!

Widow Lesson Learned: Some times small packages hold the biggest surprises of all.

Tomorrow we have a special treat. Guest blogger Jen Wilbur has a great story to share!

DOG NEEDS HOME! Diesel From Animal Action Rescue

2010-04-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

Don't Forget To Send Your Rescue Dog Story or Leave A Comment on Rescue Dogs On Any Post And Be Included In A Free Giveaway On May 24th.

Look At That Face Waiting For A Kiss

A rescue dog to steal your heart. Jamie from Animal Action Rescue has sent in Diesel's story. Find out more about Diesel at

http://www.animalactionrescue.org/

Big Boy Diesel is one of the most amazing bullies I have ever met. Despite his rough life chained to a tree with only an old car as shelter this boy remains a happy, sweet, snuggly boy! Diesel is a laid back dog that has stolen the hearts of many. Diesel doesn’t mind other dogs but would be best with another laid back dog and as with most bullies probably a female. Diesel is roughly 2 years old. He has the most beautiful eyes and they will STEAL your heart. He currently lives in a vet’s office and really needs a home of his own. Can you help Diesel out by providing him a home and the life that this boy greatly deserves?

Remember to leave a comment and be a winner.

The Unfaithful Widow Now Available At Amazon

2010-04-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

My book is now available at Amazon. Wanted to share the link with those of you who have been asking about buying the book. Follow this link and you will have all the information. http://amzn.com/1432750755

You can take a peek inside at Amazon and scroll down for an overview of the book. If you read my book let me know and please be sure to leave comments on Amazon.
My box of books came yesterday and I am still holding one close. Paperback with a cover so slick and smooth you'll want to hold it to your cheek it feels that good. Thanks to Jill Applegate for a super cover and to my sis, Pam King, for her altered art photo illustrations.
You've met some of the main characters here already, my dogs. Nothing mends a broken heart quicker than the love of a rescue dog, or two, or three, or in my case the list of dogs goes on.
My book is a collection of candid essays on finding joy again after the loss of a mate. I hope you will feel like I do when you read it, that you've spent time with a dear friend and shared stories as only the best of girlfriends can.
And don't forget to enter the rescue dog story giveaway posted below.

Welcome Eddy And Her Rescue Dogs Ginger & Dargo

2010-04-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Remember to enter my Giveaway ending May 24th. Details below.

Welcome to Eddy from Georgia and her wonderful rescue dogs!

My husband and I rescued 2 German Shepard dogs. Ginger was the first. She came from Alcovy Pet Rescue. She is a black and tan, now 5 years old and such a loving dog. She was only 13 months and suffered a bad demodectic mange when we rescued her. Now she is one happy bestfriend!
The second one was Dargo, a black and tan GSD who was separated from his brother. Happy endings to both brothers for they found their forever homes. Dargo was also a puppy when he came into our lives. We got him from Marietta, Ga. He is now a happy, silly 2 year old who loves having a big sister.
I lost my mother back in 1991 and we had a loving German Shepard dog named, "Lady". I believe that all animals are somewhat connected to the ones we love - I really do.
The photo of me with Ginger was taken during Ginger's first year with us.

Eddy has an Esty shop where she creates and sells handstitched pillows on tea or coffee-stained muslin fabric to give them that unique primitive look. Talented and with a big heart for dogs. What a super combination! Visit her shop at http://www.everlastingbloom.etsy.com/ .

Thanks Eddy for the lovely story and photos. I love your dogs!
Remember my Giveaway on May 24th. Leave a comment about your rescue dog (or cat) or e-mail your short story to me with photos at bb-bjd@comcast.net . All comments and stories made on April 11th or later will be included in the drawing. Winner will get a bracelet similiar to one below, made especially for them. Dogs, cats, or both, the choice is yours.

Widow Lesson Learned: A heart that loves animals is always full of love.

New Contest And Giveaway. Share Your Rescue Dog Story

2010-04-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

"I like to think I've rescued dogs, but they have rescued me." The Unfaithful Widow, Barbara Barth 2010

New Contest/Giveaway. Deadline May 24th 6pm est. Share your rescue dog story and be entered into a giveaway to win a one of a kind dog rescue charm bracelet. Leave your short tale as a comment here. I will use a random number generator to pick the winner on May 24th. If you would like to be a guest blogger and include a photo, go to my profile info and hit the contact button and you can e-mail me directly and send your photo as an attachment I can upload. I am waiting................(Photo of bracelet to be revealed later this month - you will love it. Similar to the one given away in February.) PS - If you are a rescue cat person, you can enter too. If you win your bracelet will be made with a cat theme. We love all rescue animals here.
Dogs. That word makes me smile. My Dogs. Those words make my smile brighter. Rescue Dogs, those words have gotten me in trouble but saved my life when it was a dark place as a new widow.
Five rescue dogs in under a year. Then of course, there is my old lady Foxy who has been with me for thirteen years. All that love all day long!
My favorite rescue folks:
Animal Action Rescue, Decatur, Ga. A great group. Check them out at http://www.animalactionrescue.org/ . They brought me my first rescue dog and the rest is history.
Then there is State Trooper Peggy with Atlanta Canine Adoption Project www.petfinder.com/shelters/GA244.html. The photo was taken at Pet Smart in Atlanta a few weeks ago when I stopped by to see her latest pups.

"Hello, my name is Midnight and you can find me at Animal Action Rescue. How's it going?"

A New Blog - April In Paris - Come Visit

2010-04-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

Visit April In Paris On Her Very Own Blog! http://aprilinparisdivadog.blogspot.com/

And watch for a blog giveaway on each of my blogs starting Saturday!

April In Paris dreams of her namesake. She wants to visit the city of lights. She has her own blog now, her diary of her dreams. A rescue dog turned diva dog with the placement of a vintage hat so jaunty on her head, a rose tilted to one side. That hat like a magic wand turning her into a writer. Come read her diary!

http://aprilinparisdivadog.blogspot.com/

Widow Lesson Learned: Change can come in many forms. Sometimes it is just the placement of a hat to turn you into the diva you were meant to be.

Some Bunny Loves You!

2010-04-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

Chloe Took Easter Very Serious This Year. Our First Together. While April In Paris Demonstrated That She Is Romantically Stylish.

Even Rascal Shows You That A Tomboy Can Be Princess For A Day.

Bray refused, as the only male, to wear a hat. But you can see all the girls in their Easter Best At The Slide Show At The Top Of This Page.

Almost Two Years, A Personal Reflection On Life

2010-04-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Next month it will be two years that I have been a widow. Because I have been working on my book, I've lost track of time. I still saw the words, widowed before my sixith birthday as I wrote, then edited my book. Now I realize I am older. Shocking. As shocking as it is that time has passed. I've been writing for almost as long. At first late at night to clear my head and deal with life and the quiet of my house. Then writing for the pleasure it gave me. Telling my story and living my story as I wrote it. My writing bringing me to the present. From widow to woman (or girl as I still like to be called). My old life as an antique dealer for the most part gone too. I still love a good treasure hunt, but for my house. My tiny booth is for recycling things that I am replacing. I am now a writer. Yes, I am self publishing my book, but that is not what makes me a writer. If I am lucky my book will bring warmth to those who read it. Like chatting with your best friend, telling your secrets, opening your heart. But writing has become a way of life for me now. I can't imagine not writing every day. When I took my screen play writing course, my teacher asked the class. Do you feel you have to write, that you can't escape it, that it is possessing you? I shook my head and thought, not really. I am writing to heal myself and keep myself busy. Then somewhere it clicked. I must write. I love to write. I live to write. So that is what makes me a writer. I love to write on this blog, my garden blog and I am writing on The Red Room, Where The Writers Are. My brain is spinning with things I want to put down on paper. I am a happy writer. I may make you cry with me on the way, but you will end up smiling after our visit. I dwell on the positive and want to share that.
Yes, I started dating shortly after my husband died. The Unfaithful Widow. But the reality of everything is that I like people, I like men (and that is sometimes hard with the dates I've met! You'll read about those). But finding my life, my place without my spouse was my answer. Not a replacement beau or husband. Maybe later. I had to do something extraordinary to deal with his death and the change in my life. So my book is that bridge for me. Writing my prince charming.
I write every night and send my heart out into the universe, hoping someone will be touched, someone will hear me. Maybe someone will laugh. Maybe cry. Maybe someone will realize they are not alone when reading my words.
I look at my widow blog and have to laugh. It should be my dog blog. How silly is that? But the inspiration and love I find with dogs is right up there with my writing. Both have rescued me.
Oh my, in August I'll be 62. I've had my broken heart, but I was lucky to have had so much time with my husband. I am lucky again that I have found myself through creativity and the love of dogs. My future, I plan to be surprised. But I am writing every day and there is a new book in the works.
I have a wooden plaque I found at the thrift store. Someone hand painted it. It hangs in my kitchen as a reminder that each day we have is a gift to be treasured.

Yesterday Is History,

Tomorrow Is A Mystery,

Today Is A Gift,

That's Why We Call It the Present.

Enjoy your present that is today. Send enough energy into the universe and let it bring you what you need. Smile and say thanks for this moment.

Those are the thoughts that keep me happy, that and six dogs who make every second a party at this house.

I'm Celebrating. Book Edits Complete!

2010-03-31T16:46:00.000-07:00

Image Pam King Photography

I am celebrating tonight. I have sent my final book edits to Outskirts Press and given the OK to start the printing process. They have my beautiful cover designed by Jill Applegate, inside images by Pam King Photography and now they have my book. Finally. Eight sets of edits. I am having a glass of wine. Care to join me?
Widow Lesson Learned: It's fun to celebrate with friends and I consider all of you my friends. So I raise my glass and toast the best accomplishment of all, friendship!

A Ton Of Pea Gravel And A Vintage Corvette

2010-03-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

A perfect spring day today. The Reverend came over to help me with my new patio. I can't seem to get grass to grow and with six dogs flying across the yard chasing one another I know grass may be a thing of the past for me. I've already built a small deck to cover part of the bare ground and above ground tree roots. But the area off my huge old cement patio still looked pitiful. Then at Home Depot it came to me. Pea Gravel. Pavers. Stones. I'd make a little gravel patio right off my new deck. The dear Reverend who now looks after my yard is my gardening angel. "I'll get the gravel with my truck and be there Tuesday." Little did I know I would be his helper today. We mapped out the area and covered it with something from the back shed. Roofing paper, maybe. But it will do the trick for now. Then I ran back to Home Depot to buy some edging pavers and the Rev started to unload half a ton of gravel. I got back home and looked at the pea gravel and thought, not enough. So the Rev went back and got another half ton. While he was gone I went all about the yard finding large old stones and the left over cement chunks from the foundation work I had done in the fall. I lugged stones and cement chunks all day. Haven't felt this well in weeks. Sun, sweat and a job well done is better than a date on Saturday night. And those words coming from these lips mean something! We stopped at five and the Rev was sweeping the excess stone off my driveway. He kept looking at my corvette under its car cover. I am so embarrassed to say I have not driven it in six months. But it needs some work, headlights need adjusting and I haven't had time to get it to the shop.
"Let's see if it cranks." The Rev was excited. It needed to be done and I was in denial. I just couldn't face it not starting. "Come on, I'll help if it won't start." He kept looking at the car cover and at me. Why not! I ran got the keys, yanked off the car cover and there it was. My beautiful '79 Corvette Stingray. The sunlight bouncing off its sleek hood blinding me with its brilliance. I opened the door and slipped into the low riding front seat. Oh my, it felt good. I put the key in and pumped the gas pedal twice. It reved up, but didn't turn over. "Try again," the Rev encouraged me. "Hit the pedal twice again, slowly, then turn the key." I held my breath and did as he said. The car roared and the sound made my heart race. I just sat in the seat and smiled. This week it goes to the shop.
I let the dogs out in the yard after the Reverend left. They ran through my new pea gravel patio like it was sand at the beach. Then they raced out into the yard, running circles around each other, joyous to be in the weather. Their barking could be heard throughout the neighborhood I am sure.
I sighed and smiled. A perfect day.
Widow Lesson Learned: Listening to dogs bark on a lovely spring day is almost as much fun as listening to the motor hum on a vintage corvette.

Rescue Dogs And Things That Go Bump In The Night

2010-03-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

Oh my. Met this little pup at Pet Smart Saturday. Someone dumped her and her sister on the side of the road and my friend State Trooper Peggy who has a non profit dog rescue shelter tried to tempt me to take this sweetie home. Just a pup, part Cattle dog and just as lovely as any dog could be. Took all my willpower to leave the pup and head home to six howling hounds waiting for dinner. Would another dog upset the applecart? After two months the six dogs have developed their routine. Four were doing fine, then two dogs, Rascal and April In Paris came in for New Year's Eve. Talk about a rock and roll first part of 2010. Dogs butt sniffing and getting to know each other! Finally, about three weeks ago peace came to the household and all the dogs bonded. They have their strangeness about them, Bray the chair eater and April In Paris who is so timid she falls down when you look at her. But the dogs kiss each other and play together. What would a new pup do to a household that is bursting at the seams with dogs already? Common sense prevailed, for now. I never know what I may do. But if you want to give this pup a home, let me know and State Trooper Peggy will contact you!
Living with six dogs you have to be quick on your feet. Twice this week I've tripped trying to move forward when a dog cut in front of me. "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up." I think I may have to chain my cell around my neck in case of an emergency! Last week Rascal ran in front of me right as I headed from the living room to kitchen. Kaplunk! Down on my knee, which is still a little blue. But no harm done and I didn't land on the dog flattening her! Tonight, I went to reach for April In Paris and Bray ran in front of me. I fell on my tail bone and bonked my head on the edge of a table. I didn't see stars so that is a good thing. And I can sit on my tail bone, another very good thing indeedy. But this week has made me realize that I need to stay more alert or else I may be run over by the pack. It is hard to be mad when you are flat out on the floor and dogs are covering you in kisses. But my aching bones. Reminds me of a that song by Incubus "Love Hurts".
   Love Hurts
   But Sometimes It's A Good Hurt
   And It Feels Like I'm Alive
Happy to report I am alive and love is grand with the dogs. Just them bones that hurt!
Widow Lesson Learned: You must stand tall on two feet when surrounded by four feet times six.

Jumping Jack Flash

2010-03-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

Bray has taken the spotlight this month. I hope you enjoy his antics as much as I do.

However, he is getting expensive. Replacing all he eats.

My new chair. Will it be next?

Bray has become Jumping Jack Flash on the rocker I just purchased.

I had to buy a new chair to replace the one he was eating. Not the first one he has eaten if you have followed his tale. A fine wing chair with wood spindles on the arms. Bray found a way to curl up in the chair and lean his head back to nibble on the wood while he appeared to be sleeping. I finally noticed last week that he had almost eaten through the wood. Once done, the chair can not be repaired. A quick trip to the thrift store found a lovely upholstered chair ( for all of $29. I am dog foolish but shopping wise ). Small, deep red in color. Not a speck of wood to be eaten. Perhaps an office chair since the base under the skirt is a metal swivel rocker. I placed it in front of the window and sighed. Such a pretty color. Added pizazz to the room. Smaller in size, the room seemed larger. Six dogs went up to sniff at it and walked away. Oh yes, six walked away from it. That included Bray. Perhaps the chair would hold no interest for him.

I went out with friends for dinner and anxiously opened the door on my return. The chair was still in one piece. The cushion had not been pulled off and eaten (as Bray did with the seat to my leather chair the last of January). I noticed the arm looked darker in color. I went to touch it, damp and with a pin prick tooth mark that had just frayed the fabric. Barely noticeable to the human eye. Bray had bitten the arm and was checking it for tastiness. I grabbed my heaviest quilt and threw it over the chair, tucking it in by the cushion. Problem solved for now.
Last night while talking on the phone I watched as Jake jumped on the chair landing on all fours. He rocked for a minute and then I saw it happen. He realized the chair would move. Suddenly Bray tilted back and forth, up and down, working that rocker. He looked out across the room with his silly grin and rocked again and again. Up, down, up, down. I think I heard him singing.
I was born in a cross-fire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain,
But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas!
But it's all right. I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash,
It's a Gas! Gas! Gas!
My very own Rolling Stone. Let's see how long this chair lasts.
Widow Lesson Learned: It is more fun to have a rocker thats a dog, than a chair that rocks.

The Blue Door

2010-03-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

The first of the year found me sitting on the couch wondering, what should I do? It was midnight and I was thinking of the next day. I had plenty to do, writing, house cleaning, catching up on things, but nothing appealed to me. I wanted to open my front door and walk out to a fun, exciting, new adventure.
Something different to inspire me. My butt was planted on the couch, my feet twitching, my brain thinking. I kept looking at my front door, looming ominously at me. A dark brown hollow core door that kept me trapped inside. I looked at the door and thought it was so dull how could an adventure lurk on the other side. I wanted a portal to take me to a magic place. Then it came to me. Paint the door. I was so excited at the very thought, I jumped up, ran to my studio to grab my paints and came back with a huge tube of robins egg blue acrylic paint I had gotten at the thrift store for 49 cents. Brush in hand and a little music playing to inspire me (I find Marvin Gaye gets me groovin') I whipped out my brushes and got to work. Twenty minutes later I stood back in awe. I hugged myself in glee and did a dance. Now there was a door that when opened would bring all the magic of the day to you. A door worthy of flinging open, stepping out into the day and discovering what the universe had in mind for me.
I never stop on my creative projects for the blue door needed something fun on it. So I gathered things I thought I might sell at my antique booth and started hammering away. I filled the door with fantasy. Perhaps that is me sitting on the metal gate of roses with my fairy wand. Queen of my domain. Small paintings with flowers and bugs and a metal lady greeting welcome. Not welcoming guests inside my house, but welcoming me outside to greet the day. By 2am I went to bed satisfied with my evening's work.
I love my blue door. It makes me laugh. It makes me feel silly. It makes me hopeful. No matter what troubles may befuddle my mind, one look at my door tells me all I have to do is open it and step out into a world full of wonder.
I am almost over my cold today. The sun is shining brightly. I opened my blue door and reached out to let down the top of the metal storm door. The air is brisk and I inhale it deeply. My heart expands as I drink in all the fresh air. I've fed the dogs, am sipping my coffee, but for lunch I am heading out to treat myself to the day. My blue door, open, beckoning me, delighting me with the thought an adventure is to be had.

Widow Lesson Learned: A bit of color to an old door can remind you of all the color that awaits on the other side.

A Book, A Cold, And Six Dogs

2010-03-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing nicer than to have a dog sympathize with your illness!

The weekend started on a high note, as weekends should. Friday night dinner with a girl friend and then off to Eagle Eye bookshop in Decatur, round the corner from my house, for a book signing of The Fall by award winning novelist David Fulmer and the kick off party for Five Stones Press, an innovative publishing venture David has started with some partners. One is my good friend Anna Foote. Check out their web: http://fivestonesllc.com/. I had a grand time catching up with some old friends who had stopped by. I left with my autographed copy of The Fall tucked safely in my purse. As I hit the cool night air I felt a scratchy throat and my head started to plug up. Oh pulease, no. Not another cold. But it seems that is exactly what was coming. I woke up Saturday morning sick as a dog. ('Scuse me doggies, just a figure of speech). And stayed that way until mid day today. Rotten, sick, headachy, don't want to nothing but rest type of cold. That was the bad news. The good news is that I started the weekend off buying a new book. There was some perfect timing. I had something to do when the quilt came off my head.

One thing to be said about being sick with six dogs is that you are never alone. Six dogs fighting to lay next to me, on me and by me all weekend long. The dogs thought we were having a sleeping party. Annabelle wiggled next to my side hugging the back of the couch and barely moved unless I did. Chloe finding this to be great fun, would run up the back of the couch and then jump down on my chest. Only seven pounds, but try that every few hours. And Rascal, the 35 pound bull that is like a bowling ball, jumped straight up in the air and came straight down on my stomach more than once. Now I have that flat tummy I wanted for summer. I think it exploded out my brain however. April in Paris came over to kiss me when I was sleeping, a kiss to my lips that, if it had been human, would have been a great kiss. Let's not comment on how odd it is to have a dog who can kiss, but she has a special talent. I opened my eyes slowly, dreaming of that kiss .......Was I sleeping beauty? And where was my prince? Alas, only those deep brown dog eyes staring back at me. I reached out and gave her head a little tap to the side. "Thank you sweet April In Paris, now please find a guy with kisses so sweet." Bray and Foxy kept tabs by sleeping on the floor close to me only nudging me when it was time to eat, a gentle reminder that even if I was ill, the dogs were hungry. So much dog love it was hard to feel bad.

So next time you find yourself feeling under the weather, grab a good book, hide under a quilt and keep the dogs close for warmth and snuggles. Almost makes a sick day a party.

Widow Lesson Learned: More healing than any cold medicine, dogs cuddled close that generate a healing warmth. Warning, it could become addictive.

Why Do Dogs Eat What They Do?

2010-03-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

Dog Or Demon?

Bray.

Loves Wood.

Now Appears To Love Glasses.

Behind that smile is a chewer of incredible tastes.

Today has been a day of dealing with dogs who run in and out of the rain tracking mud everywhere. They run out, see it is raining and run back in before I can close the door. This is great dog fun. They did it all day. In Out. In Out. Great rascally fun. Tiring fun for me. Mopping dog mud prints off the kitchen floor then fluffing the dogs dry with a huge towel. Their bodies wiggling all about enjoying the rub down. Then, minutes later, at the kitchen door wanting out. We start all over again. In Out. In Out. When a dog goes to the back door and wants out, I open it. I am never sure if they have to go or want to come in for a treat. But with six, I don't want to question it. I could be mopping more than mud!
I picked up everything on the end table and headed out to buy dog kibble and dinner for myself at the pub next to the pet shop. Lovely, quiet time reading a book, sipping a bit of wine. I got home and checked my e-mails. Chloe my chi came in lickety split holding something in her mouth. She is of the barter school. You give her something, she gives you something. I am working on this, but I needed what she had now so I tossed her a bone. No time for training. She dropped part of the hard plastic lense to my reading glasses. Then she ran out and came back, proudly wanting to exchange something else, the side piece to my glasses. Now I know there is trouble in the living room and dash in to find the remains of my reading glasses on the floor. Not big pieces, but small little chards of hard plastic and the corner hardware. No other parts to be found. No dog looks guilty, no dog appears ill. They all just look at me with blank doggie faces. I vacumed up the small chunks that were left and the last piece to get sucked up destroyed my vacumn hose. No suction. No more vacumn.
I have e-mailed my vet and he said fill them with fiber just in case. And my marching orders - poop patrol for 48 hours. So doggies are feasting on bagels, sourdough bread and baked potatoes. With six dogs I don't know who did what, but I am very suspect of my chewer Bray. He is eating through the wood arm of my chair. I will need to replace it this week. In the past he has eaten a wood foot stool, the front piece of a wood chair, a rug and the window sill on my front picture window. Tasty morsels I guess. I watch Bray jump on the chair and curl up. Then his head slowly slides back, tilting it ever so slightly so he can reach the small wood arm of my latest replacement chair. He is whittling it down to a nubbins. Why, why, why do dogs chew what they do? I have bones and toys on the floor, they sleep on fluffy quilts, but they each have a little demon in them, a doggie demon, that likes to chew things dogs should not. I don't worry about my things, but I worry about my little demon dogs.
Tomorrow to do list: new glasses, new vacumn, new chair, loaf of bread and watching the dogs closely to be sure there are no side effects from tonight's episode. The delightful poop patrol has started. And I thought I had no plans for the weekend.
Widow Lesson Learned: Even the sweetest faces have little demons behind them. Keep plenty of carbs on hand for emergencies. Try not to eat them myself.

Is It Me? Or Is It Them?

2010-03-09T06:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, I have to admit I just jumped out of bed to let the dogs out, coffee is brewing and I am am sleepy eyed. So maybe I am seeing things with a brain that is leaning to one side this morning. Worked on another round of edits for my book until the moon and sun started swaping places. But as soon as my feet hit the floor and the dogs scooted out to the yard I plopped down at the computer to see what excitement happened while I was sleeping. When you go to bed at 4am and are up at 8:30, not much exciting goes on in that window. But I am always hopeful someone was up earlier than me and I have mail. This is my morning routine. I bring in my e-mails, check my blogs and hit facebook. You never know when someone special will touch base. New comments for my blogs from friends faraway. Old friends saying Hi as they wake up. Messages from the writing groups I have joined. A notification from Etsy I sold a piece of steampunk botanical jewelry. And maybe a wink from a handsome man on Match.
This is my last month on Match unless I decide to try again. I seem to dabble on it and then wonder why? The online dating thing confuses me, heck, dating confuses me. But I try to keep my flirt factor up. It is hard to meet men when you are glued to your computer writing at all hours. And I am addicted to mine!
The first thing I see on facebook, an ad off to the side for Match. I see Match ads everywhere, but this one caught my eye. A handsome male face and then the words under his photo Date Men Over 50. Meet 1000's Of Senior Singles Near You. Join Now. The shock factor hit me. OMG. Seniors at age 50??? Pulease, give me a break. No wonder Match and I don't match. Even the Thrift Stores don't consider you Senior until you are 55. Me, let's not talk about my age. I may be in the grave. But such a young looking corpse.
So then, I grab my cup of coffee and look at my e-mails. Aha! My eyes blink twice as I look at my new message. Is it me or is it them? An e-mail from an online writing magazine. The subject line reads: Lay vs. Lie (vs. Laid). I sip my coffee with excitement. I know what the difference is! If I were in class my hand would be waving to get the teacher's attention. I lay on the couch watching TV, I lie about my age and maybe I'll get laid. My goodness, why is a writing mag 'splaining this to me? I put my coffee cup down and open the message with anticipation. Boring. Only talking about how to use the words, and, gee I got them all wrong. Phooey! But this is my world and I'll use my words as I please!
The thoughts alone those words brought to my brain perked me up and now I am ready for the day. Lunch with the gals and a class at Emory tonight. A Life Training class. I am such a puppy I may need some training. I run through the halls, roll over to get my tummy rubbed, wag my tail for dinner and love to ride with my head hangin' out the car window catching a breeze. And they dare to refer to those over 50 as seniors. You'd think we were old dogs!
Age is a state of mind, and my mind says I am still growing like a wildflower in an open field. I have so much to do, so many hats I like to wear, so many new friends waiting to be found, so much to say. I decided I needed a new business card. One just for my best of friends, those who know me well and get it. We laugh on the phone about my wild stories. I am suddenly the widow who has opinions on everything, I talk about life's big issues, I play, I work, I have dogs. Strangers ask me what do I do, and they are gone before I can finish my list. I am a storyteller. So my new title: Professional B/S Artist. I fear I am not taken seriously by those who can't smile at life. My business card gives power to my words. So, dear friends of mine on my blog, consider yourself on my list of favorite folks. I am sharing with you the card I only share with those who have won my fancy and get it.
Senior at 50, LOL. Me at my age? The candle is lit at both ends and the flame is bright!

If you need glasses to read my card, don't fret. Me too? But I love glasses. I have reading glasses in every color. And, men like them, I have found. My red ones always get a cool from the younger guys. Those senior guys over 50 borrow them to read the menu with me! From studious to sexy with the swipe of a hand and the glasses placed as needed. There are no seniors, only those who think they are old.
Widow Lesson Learned: It is better to be a viewed as a puppy wiggling your butt in excitement than to be referred to as a senior over 50.

A Hallmark Moment

2010-02-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

This is how Foxy and Jake traveled in the back of the van throughout the many years my husband and I visited family. Two dogs leaning on each other for support down a rocky highway, especially when that highway took them over a mountain and the ride became bumpy. They cuddled up to each other and never felt the rough patches. Foxy still has that security with five new pals since Jake has gone. At any given moment she has a dog to rest her head on and a pal to romp with. All six in the house only a nose butt sniff away from each other.
If only it were that easy for people. No butts for me to sniff at my house, to speak in doggie lingo. I felt a little widow crack sneaking in today. The day was so glorious I wanted to share it with someone, but there was no human to be found. Just me and the dogs and the dogs had their fun already. It was time for their couch crashings. I grabbed my vintage thrift store leather jacket, put on my lip gloss, fluffed my hair and headed out the door to see the life around me. A week full of friends and dates, but a small window of loneliness this afternoon with the sun shining so brightly it hurt my eyes and the air so crisp I couldn't breathe in enough of it. A day to be shared with someone special and I was alone.
I think we all have days like that. Everything is running well, then suddenly there is a moment when you want to reach out and no one is there. It is especially so for those who live alone, but that feeling can creep up on anyone at any time.
I did get an e-mail today pronouncing that it was Friendship Week. I think that e-mail has been passing around a good bit, as I Googled Friendship Week and it was some months back. But I loved getting the e-mail. Someone thought of me. It made me smile when it came in. I forwarded it on to five more people. Maybe they would smile too. Maybe they needed a little pick me up telling them you're in my thoughts.
Every day should be a friendship day. One where we let our friends and family, those we love and hold dear, know that we care. That we are thinking of them. No matter how full a life, you never know when a crack may be picking at a heart and your call will be the glue to mend it.
We all take for granted tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. My widow wisdom to share is do it now. It is never too soon to say a simple hello, how are you? You may interrupt someone in the middle of their busy day and hear "can't talk right now". But I bet they will smile that someone thought to call. Right after my husband died I couldn't get enough calls. Then I'd make calls thinking, I'm bothering my friends again. I soon found out that there were days my friends needed a call more than I did. We were both at peace after a brief "how ya doing?"
Sometimes I am too friendly, but I'd rather err on the side of offering friendship to someone who may not want it rather than wonder if I've overlooked someone. It's an error I think we all should make more often.
Widow Lesson Learned: Letting someone know you are thinking of them is better than the icing on a cake. It is the cherry on top.

Stop and smell the flowers. Take time to call your friends and family!

In Memory of Jake, Mr. February 2010

2010-02-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

The Male Who Rules My Life - read about Jake in my book The Unfaithful Widow. His is a remarkable story. The calendar photo was submitted to German Shepherd Rescue, Raleigh, NC shortly after Jake's passing in April 2009. The best Valentine of all they chose him for their upcoming calendar. Now, don't get sad when you see Jake has gone. He had a life that took him four years longer than anyone expected. He ruled my life from the first moment I saw him. He showed up on Labor Day weekend all those years ago causing quite a stir in the neighborhood. No one could get near the beautiful Shepherd with his badly mangled leg. We got him in my neighbor's yard, no tags, and no one responded to our ad. I knew from the first moment I saw him he was mine. A big old bear of a dog, weighing 65 pounds when we found him, blossoming to 95 pounds with love. Jake had some most unusual treatments to keep him walking when his hind legs gave out, acupuncture to get his Qi in order, Chinese herbs, all I could think of to keep him well. The miracle, he started walking again for several more years. Then those legs went again. Jake's journey was as sweet as he was. If you love a story where the dog
is saved and lives happily ever after twice, you will love Jake's tall tale.

Jake's favorite transportation. When he gave out on his walks I'd go pick him up in the wheel barrow. He still walked to the street with his hind end sling, but then liked to have a ride back!

Foxy and Jake liked to play dress up and were often found on my Me Page on Ebay during the years I sold there.
Foxy is still my old gal and has enjoyed the rescue dogs (5) that joined our home after Jake.
Widow Lesson Learned: It took a dog to teach me you can live happily ever after twice.

Fastest Fingers In The South

2010-02-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

Foxy Lady. My thirteen year old Shepherd. In her vintage hat, ready for spring. But tonight it is cool and dark and all the dogs were chewing rawhide. What is it with rawhide and Foxy? She chews on her bone and the next minute I hear her hacking away, it has gotten stuck in her throat. I have stayed away from rawhide because of her. But with six dogs a yapping, I thought I'd try again. So this week I bit the bullet and bought rawhide bones. Five for the bigger dogs and Chloe the Chi has a dental bone. Every dog was just chomping away, happy with their big ole bone,I was on the computer and then, argh, I heard this horrible gasping sound and turned around, Foxy was choking on her rawhide. A big old glomp of it in her throat. Her head was down and she was gagging. The rawhide was stuck and she was trying to get it out. This happened to her years ago and I vowed not to let her near rawhide again. I ran over, opened her mouth and with two fingers was deep into her throat and jerked it out. After my total panic and then the happy moment she was fine, I remembered that all those years ago I was forever doing this to her. My husband told me I had the fastest fingers in the south. Couldn't believe how quickly I could snatch something out of her throat. From rawhide to the worms in the yard and other things I dare not mention.A sweet memory tonight after a total panic on my part. So, no more rawhide for the dogs. Back to letting them chew on my furniture. I'd rather replace a chair than a dog. If anyone has some thoughts on treats for dogs that take time to chew and are safe, please explain to me! You would think after all my years with dogs I'd get this right!

Widow Lesson Learned: It is better to put up with the racket and chewing on chairs from six dogs than to have one dog hacking away choking on her toy.

New Facebook Page! Chic Chick Giveaway

2010-02-23T08:17:00.000-08:00

(Chic Chick Giveaway Free Copy Of Book)

I am trying to redefine the impossible every day. Doing things I've never done before, dreaming big and saying "yes I can". Sometimes I laugh and tell my friends, "I have so many hats and have so many answers I feel like the B/S Queen." But no, I am walking the talk. Somedays its like running and I am flying, and somedays it is like dragging weights on my ankles. But I am always taking steps. That is what I hope you will take away from my book. No matter what happens in your life, you can redefine the impossible and make great things happen. I do it every day. So today, I started my Facebook fan page, please join, it's a lonely blank over there! And I've entered a contest by Chic Chick Media. If I am featured my giveaway is a free copy of my book, which lord willing the creek don't rise, and I feel the need for more edits, will be available the end of March 2010. The book is mentioned as a giveaway here so I can link to my product for them. But remember, if you go to my website http://www.barbarabarth.net/ and scroll down to the bottom link that says subscribe to the latest you will be included in a free giveaway of an autographed copy of my book as soon as it is released.

Widow Lesson Learned: One step leads to another so keep moving forward and you will find great things in your life.

A Sick Day, I've Got A Bug

2010-02-22T15:43:00.000-08:00

That's the woman looking out to sea vintage painting over my bed. I got to see it most of the day. Sick. I've gotten a bug. So I can pamper myself, which can be fun, except for the feeling like crap part. But most of the day found me under my quilt - surrounded by dogs. I can look across the room and see my favorite painting reflected in the mirror. This painting makes me so serene. It keeps my mind occupied too. Painted in the 1960's by an art teacher in Georgia, I wonder what was on his mind when he painted her. My mind questions her all the time. Is she waiting for her man who is out fishing or is she a widow like me, just looking out to sea comtemplating her future? Maybe she's written a book and is waiting to see if the mail will bring an offer from a publishing company? I love to play with her in my mind! It is one big painting and I won her on Ebay. Right after my husband died I went on my jag to decorate my way. A survival method that kept me busy hauling stuff from the house to my antique booth and gave me an excuse to hit my favorite shops. A good distraction when one was badly needed. Now my bedroom is filled with ice cream colored cottage furniture and when the sun comes in the room it looks like a day at the beach. After I finished moving things in and out I stood back and looked at my room, hands on my hips to be sure I gave it a very impartial look over. My god, all I could think, it looks like a teenage girl lives here! My rose paintings on the wall made the room too sweet. So, my answer, the lady, a harsh, stotic woman looking out to the sea. Then the other paintings were changed out for beach paintings. Modern and vintage. Gave the room punch. My husband's best friend came up from Florida to help me with boxing things that needed to go. He and his wife have an elegant home and my way of decorating can give men the willies. We went to the bedroom to hit the closet and box my husband clothes. He smiled at me and asked, what bedroom is this? The master bedroom, I answered. The brief look that crossed his face told me he was horrified. I've changed it out, I explained. I see, he replied. I could tell he was sure it was my decorating that had done my husband in. It is a sissy room, a girly room, full of pinks,blues and greens. A room that says life is fun. When I lay in bed I can let my eye roam and there is always something that makes me smile.

Some folks have said a bedroom needs to be serene, calm, free of clutter. My mind is cluttered thinking of things to do every second, so a serene room would only allow my brain to keep spinning. When I enter my bedroom, my brain switches gears, instead of thinking, it just relaxes and looks at the eye candy. Eye candy that lets me drift off quietly to sleep looking at things I love.

At first I thought no man would want to enter this room because it is so girly. Then I said who cares! Its not the decorating he will be coming to see. Candles can make a room romantic, so I keep one handy just in case. Now I've filled the house with dogs. Dogs who like to sleep in bed. Simple solution, a bag of bones is now tucked in by the candle. Six big old chew bones. When a man comes down my long hallway to my bed, I'll light a candle, toss six bones down the hall and slam the door quickly. Maybe a blindfold would be in order for the guy walking down that gangplank to pleasure in my room. He could decide if he wanted to take it off or leave it on. Playing pirates can be fun. Widow Lesson Learned: A room full of eye candy can sooth a mind that is spinning all the time.

Conversations On Sunday Morning With The Sun

2010-02-21T10:56:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with the sun teasing me, poking me to get out of bed. Come on, it taunted me, get up. It's early, you went to bed late, you were a little punky, but look, I'm playing in your yard. I stretched and turned my head ever so slightly and all I could see were dogs. Three of them snuggled together taking up most of the rest of the bed. Who was that talking to me? I know I heard a voice. For a moment I smile. I remember when there was a man in bed with me poking gently at me, "come on, get up, breakfast." Now there are just dogs. Three in bed, one on the floor, two on the couch in the living room. Any moment they will jump up and want to go out, then breakfast. The quilt goes back over my head. Soon. In a few minutes, maybe. I am hiding under my quilt. Hey, you in bed. I lift the quilt and look around. No one but the dogs and a room ablaze in sun. Oh my head.I was at a party last night, with old friends of mine. Too much wine for me, the gal who rarely drinks. Laughing and sharing stories of younger days. Talks of nights of too much drinking and waking up in bed wondering how you got there. Then one woman laughed, "at least I always knew who was in bed with me." I toasted to that one. Then thought, hell, I know who will be in bed with me too when I wake up with a little hangover. Dogs. What sane man would try to sneak into my bed with that crew refusing to move?
April comes running in (I have given her a nickname, longer than her real name, April In Paris. It makes her feel glamorous). She is the tall one standing on the floor and can lick my nose while I sleep. "Goodmorning, Miss April In Paris," I reach my arm over to her and toss my quilt to the side. She is all wiggles and ready to head out to the yard. Suddenly they are all up. Yapping, hitting the floor as they race towards the kitchen door. I grab my jeans, jump into them and dash behind the pack. "Out!" I've managed to reach the door ahead of them. I open it and the dogs whoosh by me, barking loudly, rejoicing in the moment. The sun coming through my tall pines leaves a toile like pattern on my dirt patch lawn. I grab my fresh cup of coffee and head to the deck. My wonderful vintage chippy black painted iron rocker from the thrift store ( a deal at $9.99) beckons me. I plop down careful not to spill my coffee. I am in the moment loving it. The sun is warm on my face and I can feel it moving down my legs, warming every inch of me on its journey.
Even with my eyes closed I know where the dogs are. Each has its favorite spot in the yard. I can hear the sounds of them crunching through the old dead branches and vines that soon will become a bounty of color with spring.
It is a glorious day. I am happy. It will be cold and rainy soon, but today is the stuff dreams are made of. And I almost missed it. Hiding under a quilt. I look up at the sky, thank you sun for your wake up call. I am talking to the air, as I do on many occasions since I am living only with the company of dogs. I speed dial my thoughts to Mother Nature. Can you arrange another date here? I'd like to see Mr. Sun tomorrow. I am crossing my fingers I have better luck with Mother Nature and second dates than I have with the online dating services.

Miss April In Paris with Rascal in the sunroom resting on the antique wicker chaise after their morning outing. See the sun leaving bright little spots on their bodies? Oh joy.

Widow lesson learned: If you hide under a quilt you will miss the sun in your life.